AMOS  KILBRIGHT 


HIS   ADSCITIT1OUS    EXPERIENCES 


Witb  Other  Stories 


FRANK    R.    STOCKTON 


NEW  YORK 

CHARLES  SCRIBNER'S  SONS 
1888 


f-s 


COPYRIGHT,  1888,  BY 
CHARLES  SCRIBNER'S  SONS 


TROWS 

PRINTING  AND  BOOKBINDING.  COMPANY, 
NEW  YORK. 


CONTENTS. 

PACK 

AMOS  KILBRIGHT  :  His  ADSCITITIOUS  EXPERIENCES,      .  3 

THE  REVERSIBLE  LANDSCAPE, 67 

DUSKY  PHILOSOPHY— IN  Two  EXPOSITIONS  : 

FIRST  EXPOSITION  :  A  STORY  OF  SEVEN  DEVILS,     .  89 

SECOND  EXPOSITION  :  GRANDISON'S  QUANDARY,       .  104 

PLAIN  FISHING, 119 


%*The  story  of  Amos  Kllbright  first  appeared  in  America,  April,  1888. 


AMOS  KILBRIGHT:  HIS  ADSCITITIOUS 
EXPERIENCES. 


AMOS  KILBRIGHT:  HIS  ADSCITITIOUS 
EXPERIENCES. 

[This  story  is  told  by  Mr.  Richard  Colesworthy,  an  attorney- 
at-law,  in  a  large  town  in  one  of  our  Eastern  States.  The  fact 
that  Mr.  Colesworthy  is  a  practical  man,  and  but  little  given, 
outside  of  his  profession,  to  speculative  theorizing,  adds  a  weight 
to  his  statements  which  they  might  not  otherwise  possess.} 

IN  the  practice  of  my  profession  I  am  in  the 
habit  of  meeting  with  all  sorts  and  conditions  of 
men,  women,  and  even  children.  But  I  do  not 
know  that  I  ever  encountered  anyone  who  excit 
ed  in  me  a  greater  interest  than  the  man  about 
whom  I  am  going  to  tell  you. 

I  was  busily  engaged  one  morning  in  my  office, 
which  is  on  the  ground  floor  of  my  dwelling  and 
opens  upon  the  street,  when,  after  a  preliminary 
knock,  a  young  man  entered  and  asked  leave  to 
speak  with  me.  He  was  tall  and  well  made,  plain 
ly  but  decently  dressed,  and  with  a  fresh,  healthy 
color  on  his  smoothly  shaven  face.  There  was 
something  in  his  air,  a  sort  of  respectful  awkward 
ness,  which  was  not  without  a  suggestion  of  good 


4  Amos  Kilb right  : 

breeding,  and  in  his  countenance  there  was  an 
annoyed  or  troubled  expression  which  did  not  sit 
well  upon  it.  I  asked  him  to  take  a  chair,  and  as 
he  did  so  the  thought  came  to  me  that  I  should 
like  to  be  of  service  to  him.  Of  course  I  desire  to 
aid  and  benefit  all  my  clients,  but  there  are  some 
persons  whose  appearance  excites  in  one  an  in 
stinctive  sympathy,  and  toward  whom  there  arise 
at  first  sight  sentiments  of  kindliness.  The  man 
had  said  almost  nothing ;  it  was  simply  his  man 
ner  that  had  impressed  me.  I  mention  these 
points  because  generally  I  do  not  take  an  interest 
in  persons  until  I  know  a  good  deal  about  them. 

"What  can  I  do  for  you  ?  "  I  asked. 

The  man  did  not  immediately  answer,  but  be 
gan  searching  for  something  in  one  of  the  pockets 
of  his  coat.  The  little  awkwardness  which  I  had 
first  noticed,  now  became  more  apparent.  He  ap 
peared  to  be  looking  for  his  pockets  rather  than  for 
what  might  be  in  one  of  them.  He  was  conscious 
of  his  ungainliness  and  reddened  a  little  as  he 
fumbled  on  the  inside  and  outside  of  his  coat. 

"  I  pray  you  pardon  me,"  he  said,  "  but  I  will 
bring  before  you  instantly  the  matter  of  my  busi 
ness." 

And  so  saying,  he  got  his  hand  into  a  breast 
pocket  and  drew  out  a  little  packet.  There  was 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  5 

a  certain  intonation  of  his  voice  which,  at  first 
made  me  think  that  he  was  not  an  American,  but 
in  that  intonation  there  was  really  nothing  foreign. 
He  was  certainly  a  stranger,  he  might  be  from  the 
backwoods,  and  both  his  manner  and  speech  ap 
peared  odd  to  me ;  but  soon  I  had  no  doubt  about 
his  being  my  countryman.  In  fact,  there  was 
something  in  his  general  appearance  which  seemed 
to  me  to  be  distinctively  American. 

"  I  came  to  you,  sir,"  he  said,  "  to  ask  if  you 
would  have  the  goodness  to  purchase  one  or  more 
of  these  tickets  ?  "  And  he  held  out  to  me  a  card 
entitling  one  person  to  admission  to  a  seance  to 
be  given  by  a  party  of  spiritualists  in  one  of  the 
public  buildings  of  the  town. 

A  feeling  of  anger  arose  within  me.  I  was 
chagrined  to  think  that  I  had  begun  to  interest 
myself  in  a  person  who  merely  came  to  interrupt 
me  in  my  business  by  trying  to  sell  me  tickets  to 
a  spiritualistic  exhibition.  My  instant  impulse 
was  to  turn  from  the  man  and  let  him  see  that  I 
was  offended  by  his  intrusion,  but  my  reason  told 
me  that  he  had  done  nothing  that  called  for  resent 
ment.  If  I  had  expected  something  more  impor 
tant  from  him,  that  was  my  affair.  He  had  not 
pretended  to  have  any  other  business  than  that 
which  brought  him. 


6  Amos  Kilbright : 

And,  besides,  he  offered  me  something  which  in 
fact  I  wanted.  I  am  a  member  of  a  society  for 
psychical  research,  which,  about  a  year  before,  had 
been  organized  in  our  town.  It  is  composed 
almost  exclusively  of  persons  who  are  desirous  of 
honestly  investigating  the  facts,  as  well  as  theo 
ries,  connected  with  the  spiritual  phenomena,  not 
only  of  our  own  day,  but  of  all  ages.  We  had 
heard  of  the  spiritualistic  exhibitions  which  were 
to  be  given  in  our  town,  and  I,  with  a  number  of 
my  fellow-members,  had  determined  to  attend 
them.  If  there  was  anything  real  or  tangible  in 
the  performances  of  these  people  we  wanted  to 
know  it.  Considering  all  this,  it  would  be  foolish 
for  me  to  be  angry  with  a  man  who  had  brought 
me  the  very  tickets  I  intended  to  buy,  and,  instead 
of  turning  away  from  him,  I  took  out  my  pocket- 
book. 

"  I  will  take  one  ticket  for  each  of  the  three 
seances,"  I  said.  And  I  placed  the  money  on  the 
table. 

I  should  have  been  glad  to  buy  two  sets  of  tick 
ets  ;  one  for  my  wife ;  but  I  knew  this  would  be 
useless.  She  did  not  belong  to  our  society,  and 
took  no  interest  in  its  investigations. 

"  These  things  are  all  tricks  and  nonsense,"  she 
said;  "  I  don't  want  to  know  anything  about 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  J 

them.  And  if  they  were  true,  I  most  certainly 
would  not  want  to  know  anything  about  them." 

So  I  contented  myself  with  the  tickets  for  my 
own  use,  and  as  the  man  slowly  selected  them 
from  his  little  package,  I  asked  him  if  he  had  sold 
many  of  them. 

"  These  you  now  buy  are  the  first  of  which  I 
have  made  disposal,"  he  answered.  "  For  two  days 
I  have  endeavored  to  sell  them,  but  to  no  purpose. 
There  are  many  people  to  whom  I  cannot  bring 
myself  to  speak  upon  the  matter,  and  those  I  have 
asked  care  not  for  these  things.  I  would  not  have 
come  to  you,  but  having  twice  passed  your  open 
window,  I  liked  your  face  and  took  courage." 

I  smiled.  So  this  man  had  been  studying  me 
before  I  began  to  study  him ;  and  this  discovery 
revived  in  me  the  desire  that  he  had  come  on 
some  more  interesting  business  than  that  of  selling 
tickets ;  a  thing  he  did  so  badly  as  to  make  me 
wonder  why  he  had  undertaken  it. 

"  I  imagine,"  said  I,  "  that  this  sort  of  business 
is  out  of  your  line." 

He  looked  at  me  a  moment,  and  then  with 
earnestness  exclaimed  :  "  Entirely  !  utterly  !  abso 
lutely  !  I  am  altogether  unfitted  for  this  calling, 
and  it  is  an  injustice  to  those  who  send  me  out 
for  me  to  longer  continue  in  it.  Some  other  per- 


8  Amos  Kilbright : 

son  might  sell  their  tickets  ;  I  cannot.  And  yet," 
he  said,  with  a  sigh,  "  what  is  there  that  I  may 
do?" 

The  idea  that  that  strong,  well-grown  man 
should  have  any  difficulty  in  finding  some 
thing  to  do  surprised  me.  If  he  chose  to  go 
out  and  labor  with  his  hands — and  surely  no  man 
who  was  willing  to  wander  about  selling  tickets 
should  object  to  that — there  would  be  no  difficulty 
in  his  obtaining  a  livelihood  in  our  town. 

"  If  you  want  regular  employment,"  I  said,  "  I 
think  you  can  easily  find  it." 

"  I  want  it,"  he  answered,  his  face  clouded  by 
a  troubled  expression,  "  but  I  cannot  take  it." 

"  Cannot  take  it  !  "  I  exclaimed. 

"No,"  he  said,  "I  am  not  my  own  master.  I 
am  as  much  a  slave  as  any  negro  hereabouts ! '' 

I  was  rather  surprised  at  this  meaningless  allu 
sion,  but  contented  myself  with  asking  him  what 
he  meant  by  not  being  his  own  master. 

He  looked  on  the  floor  and  then  he  looked  at 
me,  with  a  steady,  earnest  gaze.  "  I  should  like 
well  to  tell  you  my  story,"  he  said.  "  I  have  been 
ordered  not  to  tell  it,  but  I  have  resolved  that 
when  I  should  meet  a  man  to  whom  I  should  be 
moved  to  speak  I  would  speak." 

Now,  I  felt  a  very  natural  emotion  of  pride. 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  9 

My  perception  of  objects  of  interest  was  a  quick 
and  a  correct  one.  "  Speak  on,"  I  said,  "  I  shall  be 
very  glad  to  hear  what  you  have  to  say." 

He  looked  toward  the  open  door.  I  arose 
and  closed  it.  When  I  had  resumed  my  seat 
he  drew  his  chair  closer  to  me,  leaned  toward 
me,  and  said : 

"  In  the  first  place  you  should  know  that  I  am 
a  materialized  spirit." 

I  sat  up,  hard  pressed  against  the  back  of  my 
chair. 

"  Nay,  start  not,"  he  said,  "  I  am  now  as  truly 
flesh  and  blood  as  you  are;  but  a  short  three 
weeks  ago  I  was  a  spirit  in  the  realms  of  endless 
space.  I  know,"  he  continued,  "  that  my  history 
is  a  sore  thing  to  inflict  upon  any  man,  and  there 
are  few  to  whom  I  would  have  broached  it,  but  I 
will  make  it  brief.  Three  weeks  ago  these  spirit 
ualists  held  privately  in  this  town  what  they  call 
a  seance,  and  at  that  time  I  was  impelled,  by  a 
power  I  understood  not,  to  appear  among  them. 
After  I  had  come  it  was  supposed  that  a  mistake 
had  been  made,  and  that  I  was  not  the  spirit 
wanted.  In  the  temporary  confusion  occasioned 
by  this  supposition,  and  while  the  attention  of 
the  exhibitors  was  otherwise  occupied,  I  was  left 
exposed  to  the  influence  of  the  materializing  agen- 


io  Amos  Kilbright  : 

ties  for  a  much  longer  time  than  had  been  in 
tended  ;  so  long,  indeed,  that  instead  of  remaining 
in  the  misty,  indistinct  form  in  which  spirits  are 
presented  by  these  men  to  their  patrons,  I  became 
as  thoroughly  embodied,  as  full  of  physical  life 
and  energy,  and  as  complete  a  mortal  man  as  I 
was  when  I  disappeared  from  this  earth,  one  hun 
dred  and  two  years  ago." 

"  One  hundred  and  two  years  !  "  I  mechanically 
ejaculated.  There  was  upon  me  the  impulse  to 
get  up  and  go  where  I  could  breathe  the  outer  air  ; 
to  find  my  wife  and  talk  to  her  about  marketing 
or  some  household  affair,  to  get  away  from  this 
being — human  or  whatever  he  was — but  this  was 
impossible.  That  interest  which  dawned  upon  me 
when  I  first  perceived  my  visitor  now  held  me  as 
if  it  had  been  a  spell. 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  "  I  deceased  in  1785,  being  then 
in  my  thirtieth  year.  I  was  a  citizen  of  Bixbury, 
on  the  Massachusetts  coast,  but  I  am  not  uncon 
nected  with  this  place.  Old  Mr.  Scott,  of  your 
town,  is  my  grandson." 

I  am  obliged  to  chronicle  the  fact  that  my  pre 
sent  part  in  this  conversation  consisted  entirely  of 
ejaculations.  "  Old  Mr.  Scott  your  grandson !  "  I 
said. 

"  Yes,"  he  replied  ;  "  my  daughter,  who  was  but 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  II 

two  years  old  when  I  left  her,  married  Lemuel 
Scott,  of  Bixbury,  who  moved  to  this  town  soon 
after  old  Mr.  Scott  was  born.  It  was,  indeed, 
on  account  of  this  good  old  man  that  I  became 
materialized.  He  was  present  at  the  private 
seance  of  which  I  have  spoken,  and  being  asked  if 
he  would  like  to  see  a  person  from  the  other  world, 
he  replied  that  he  should  be  pleased  to  behold  his 
grandfather.  When  the  necessary  influences  were 
set  to  work  I  appeared.  The  spiritualists,  who, 
without  much  thought,  had  conceived  the  idea 
that  the  grandfather  of  old  Mr.  Scott  ought,  in 
the  ordinary  nature  of  things,  to  be  a  very  venera 
ble  personage,  were  disappointed  when  they  saw 
me,  and  concluded  I  was  one  who,  by  some  mistake,' 
had  been  wrongfully  summoned.  They,  there 
fore,  set  me  aside,  as  it  were,  and  occupied  them 
selves  with  other  matters.  Old  Mr.  Scott  went 
away  unsatisfied,  and  strengthened  in  his  disbelief 
in  the  powers  of  the  spiritualists,  while  I,  as  I 
have  before  said,  was  left  unnoticed  under  the  pow 
er  of  the  materializing  force,  until  I  was  made 
corporeal  as  I  am  now.  When  the  spiritualists 
discovered  what  had  happened  they  were  much  dis 
turbed,  and  immediately  set  about  to  dematerial- 
ize  me,  for  it  is  not  their  purpose  or  desire  to  cause 
departed  spirits  to  again  become  inhabitants  of 


12  Amos  Kilbright : 

this  world.  But  all  their  efforts  were  of  no  avail. 
I  remained  as  much  a  man  as  anyone  of  them 
selves.  They  found  me  in  full  health  and  vigor, 
for  I  had  never  had  a  day's  sickness  in  my  life, 
having  come  to  my  death  by  drowning  while 
foolishly  swimming  too  far  from  land  in  a  strong 
ebb  tide,  and  my  body,  being  carried  out  to  sea, 
was  never  recovered.  Being  thus  put  to  their 
wit's  end,  they  determined  to  keep  the  matter 
privy,  and  to  make  the  best  of  it,  and  the  first 
necessity  was  to  provide  me  with  clothing,  for  on 
my  second  entrance  into  this  world  I  was  as  totally 
without  apparel  as  when  I  first  came  into  it. 
They  gave  me  these  garments  of  the  ordinary 
fashion  of  the  day,  but  to  which  I  find  myself 
much  unaccustomed,  and  enjoined  upon  me  to 
keep  silent  in  regard  to  what  had  happened  ;  fear 
ing,  as  I  was  made  aware  by  some  unguarded 
words,  that  their  efforts  todematerialize  me  might 
bring  them  into  trouble." 

My  professional  instincts  now  came  to  the  front. 
"  That  would  be  murder,"  I  said,  "  and  nothing 

*  *  o 

less." 

"  So  I  myself  told  them,"  he  continued,  "  for  I 
had  come  to  the  determination  that  I  would  choose 
to  finish  out  the  life  I  had  broken  off  so  suddenly. 
But  they  paid  little  heed  to  my  words  and  con- 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  13 

tinued  their  experiments.  But,  as  I  have  told 
you,  their  efforts  were  without  avail,  and  they  have 
ceased  to  make  further  trial  of  dematerialization. 
As,  of  course,  it  would  be  impossible  to  keep  a 
full-grown  man  for  any  considerable  length  of 
time  secluded  and  unseen,  they  judged  it  wise  to 
permit  me  to  appear  as  an  ordinary  human  being; 
and  having  no  other  use  to  which  they  could  put 
me,  they  set  me  to  selling  tickets  for  them,  and 
in  this  business  I  have  fared  so  badly  that  I  shall 
restore  to  them  these  that  are  left,  and  counsel  them 
to  seek  another  agent,  I  being  of  detriment  to  them 
rather  than  profit.  What  may  then  happen  I  do 
not  know,  for,  as  I  told  you,  I  am  not  my  own 
master." 

"  I  do  not  understand  you,"  I  said.  "  If  you 
have  been,  in  this  unparalleled  manner,  restored 
to  your  physical  existence,  surely  you  are  free  to 
do  as  you  please.  What  these  spiritualists  have 
done  for  you  was  done  by  accident.  They  intended 
you  no  benefit,  and  they  have  no  claim  upon  you." 

"  That  is  true,"  he  said,  with  a  sigh,  "  but  they 
have  a  hold  upon  me.  It  was  but  yesterday  that 
they  informed  me  that,  although,  so  far,  they  had 
failed  to  restore  me  to  what  they  call  my  nor 
mal  spiritual  existence,  they  had  every  reason  to 
believe  that  they  soon  would  be  able  to  do  so. 


14  Amos  Kilbright : 

A  psychic  scientist  of  Germany  has  discovered  a 
process  of  dematerialization,  and  they  have  sent 
to  him  for  his  formula.  This,  in  a  short  time, 
they  expect  to  receive,  and  they  assure  me  that 
they  will  not  hesitate  to  put  it  in  force  if  I  should 
cause  them  trouble.  Now,  sir,"  he  continued,  and 
as  he  spoke  there  was  a  moisture  about  his  eyes, 
"  I  am  very  fond  of  life.  I  have  been  restored  to 
that  mortality  from  which  I  was  suddenly  snatched 
by  the  cruel  sea,  and  I  do  not  wish  to  lose  it  again 
until  I  have  lived  out  my  natural  term  of  years. 
My  family  is  one  of  long  life,  and  I  feel  that  I 
have  a  right  to  fifty  more  years  of  existence,  and 
this  strong  desire  for  the  natural  remainder  of  my 
life  is  that  which  gives  these  men  their  power 
over  me.  I  was  never  a  coward,  but  I  cannot  but 
fear  those  who  may  at  any  moment  cause  this  form, 
these  limbs,  my  physical  state  and  life,  to  vanish 
like  a  candle-flame  blown  out." 

My  sympathies  were  now  strongly  aroused  in 
behalf  of  the  subject  of  these  most  extraordinary 
conditions.  "  That  which  you  fear  must  not  be 
allowed,"  I  said.  "  No  man  has  the  right  to  take 
away  the  life  of  another,  no  matter  what  plan  or 
method  he  may  use.  I  will  see  the  spiritualists, 
and  make  it  plain  to  them  that  what  they  threaten 
they  cannot  be  allowed  to  do." 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  15 

The  man  arose.  "  Sir,"  he  said,  "  I  feel  that  I 
have  truly  found  a  friend.  Whatever  may  happen 
to  me,  I  shall  never  forget  your  kindness  to  a  very 
stranger."  He  held  out  his  hand,  and  I  stood  up 
by  him  and  took  it.  It  was  as  much  a  flesh  and 
blood  hand  as  my  own. 

"  What  is  your  name  ?  "  I  asked.  "  You  have  not 
yet  told  me  that." 

"  I  am  Amos  Kilbright,  of  Bixbury,"  he  an 
swered. 

"  You  have  not  revisited  your  native  place  ?"  I 
said. 

"  No,"  he  replied.  "  I  much  desire  to  do  so,  but 
I  have  no  money  for  a  journey,  even  on  foot,  and 
I  doubt  me  much  if  those  men  would  suffer  me  to 
go  to  Bixbury." 

"  And  have  you  spoken  to  your  grandson,  old 
Mr.  Scott  ? "  I  said.  "  It  is  but  right  that  you 
should  make  yourself  known  to  him." 

"  So  have  I  thought,"  he  answered,  "  and  I  have 
felt  an  earnest  drawing  toward  my  daughter's 
child.  I  have  seen  him  thrice,  but  have  not  had 
the  heart  to  speak  to  him  and  declare  myself  the 
progenitor  of  that  mother  whose  memory  I  know 
he  cherishes." 

"  You  shall  make  yourself  known  to  him,"  I  said. 
"  I  will  prepare  the  way." 


1 6  Amos  Kilbright: 

He  shook  me  again  by  the  hand  and  took  his 
leave  without  a  word.  He  was  deeply  affected. 

I  reseated  myself  by  my  table,  one  thought  af 
ter  another  rushing  through  my  mind.  Had  ever 
man  heard  a  story  such  as  this!  What  were  all 
the  experiences  of  the  members  of  the  Society 
for  Psychical  Research,  their  stories  of  apparitions, 
their  instances  of  occult  influences,  their  best  au 
thenticated  incidents  of  supernaturalism  compared 
to  this  experience  of  mine  !  Should  I  hasten  and 
tell  it  all  to  my  wife  ?  I  hesitated.  If  what  I  had 
heard  should  not  be  true — and  this,  my  first  doubt 
or  suspicion  impressed  upon  me  how  impossible 
to  me  had  been  doubt  or  suspicion  during  the 
presence  of  my  visitor — it  would  be  wrong  to  use 
lessly  excite  her  mind.  On  the  other  hand,  if  I  had 
heard  nothing  but  the  truth,  what  would  happen 
should  she  sympathize  as  deeply  with  Amos 
Kilbright  as  I  did,  and  then  should  that  worthy 
man  suddenly  become  dematerialized,  perhaps 
before  her  very  eyes  ?  No,  I  would  not  tell  her — 
at  least  not  yet.  But  I  must  see  the  spiritualists. 
And  that  afternoon  I  went  to  them. 

The  leader  and  principal  worker  of  the  men  who 
were  about  to  give  a  series  of  spiritual  manifesta 
tions  in  our  town  was  Mr.  Corbridge,  a  man  of 
middle-age  with  -a  large  head  and  earnest  visage. 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  17 

When  I  spoke  to  him  of  Amos  Kilbright  he  was 
very  much  annoyed. 

"  So  he  has  been  talking  to  you,"  he  said,  "  and 
after  all  the  warnings  I  gave  him  !  Well,  he  does 
that  sort  of  thing  at  his  own  risk ! " 

"  We  all  do  things  at  our  own  risk,"  I  said, 
"  and  he  has  as  much  right  to  choose  his  line  of 
conduct  as  anybody  else." 

"  No,  he  hasn't,"  said  Mr.  Corbridge,  "  he  be 
longs  to  us,  and  it  is  for  us  to  choose  his  line  of 
conduct  for  him." 

"  That  is  nonsense,"  said  I.  "  You  have  no 
more  right  over  him  than  I  have." 

"  Now  then,"  said  Mr.  Corbridge,  his  eyes  be 
ginning  to  sparkle,  "  I  may  as  well  talk  plainly  to 
you.  My  associates  and  myself  have  considered 
this  matter  very  carefully.  At  first  we  thought 
that  if  this  fellow  should  tell  his  story  we  would 
simply  pooh-pooh  the  whole  of  it,  and  let  people 
think  he  was  a  little  touched  in  his  mind,  which 
would  be  so  natural  a  conclusion  that  everybody 
might  be  expected  to  come  to  it.  But  as  we  have 
determined  to  dematerialize  him,  his  disappear 
ance  would  bring  suspicion  upon  us,  and  we  might 
get  into  trouble  if  he  should  be  considered  a  mere 
commonplace  person.  So  we  decided  to  speak 
out  plainly,  say  what  we  had  done,  and  what  we 


1 8  Amos  Kil bright  : 

were  going  to  do,  and  thus  put  ourselves  at  the 
head  of  the  spirit  operators  of  the  world.  But  we 
are  not  yet  ready  to  do  anything  or  to  make  our 
announcements,  and  if  he  had  held  his  tongue  we 
might  have  given  him  a  pretty  long  string." 

"And  do  you  mean,"  I  said,  "that  you  and 
your  associates  positively  intend  to  dematerialize 
Mr.  Kilbright  ?  " 

"  Certainly,"  he  answered. 

"  Then,  I  declare  such  an  act  would  be  inhu 
man  ;  a  horrible  crime." 

"  No,"  said  Mr.  Corbridge,  "  it  would  be  neither. 
In  the  first  place  he  isn't  human.  It  is  by  acci 
dent  that  he  is  what  he  is.  But  it  was  our  affair 
entirely,  and  it  was  a  most  wonderfully  fortunate 
thing  for  us  that  it  happened.  At  first  it  fright 
ened  us  a  little,  but  we  have  got  used  to  it  now, 
and  we  see  the  great  opportunities  that  this  en 
tirely  unparalleled  case  will  give  us.  As  he  is,  he 
is  of  no  earthly  good  to  anybody.  You  can't  take 
a  man  out  of  the  last  century  and  expect  him  to 
get  on  in  any  sort  of  business  at  the  present  day. 
He  is  too  old-fashioned.  He  doesn't  know  how 
we  do  things  in  the  year  eighteen  eighty-seven. 
We  put  this  subject  to  work  selling  tickets  just  to 
keep  him  occupied  ;  but  he  can't  even  do  that. 
But,  as  a  spirit  who  can  be  materialized  or'dema- 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  19 

terialized  whenever  we  please,  he  will  be  of  the 
greatest  value  to  us.  When  a  spirit  has  been 
brought  out  as  strongly  as  he  has  been  it  will  be 
the  easiest  thing  in  the  world  to  do  it  again. 
Every  time  you  bring  one  out  the  less  trouble  it 
is  to  make  it  appear  the  next  time  you  want  it ; 
and  in  this  case  the  conditions  are  so  favorable 
that  it  will  be  absolute  business  suicide  in  us  if  we 
allow  ourselves  to  lose  the  chance  of  working  it. 
So  you  see,  sir,  that  we  have  marked  out  our 
course,  and  I  assure  you  that  we  intend  to  stick  to 
it." 

"  And  I  assure  you,"  said  I,  rising  to  go,  "  that 
I  shall  make  it  my  business  to  interfere  with  your 
wicked  machinations." 

Mr.  Corbridge  laughed.  "  You'll  find,"  he  said, 
"  that  we  have  turned  this  thing  over  pretty  care 
fully,  and  we  are  ready  for  whatever  the  courts 
may  do.  If  we  are  charged  with  making  away 
with  anybody,  we  can,  if  we  like,  make  him  ap 
pear,  alive  and  well,  before  judge  and  jury.  And 
then  what  will  there  be  to  say  against  us?  Be 
sides,  we  are  quite  sure  that  no  laws  can  be  found 
against  bringing  beings  from  the  other  world,  or 
sending  them  back  into  it,  provided  it  can  be 
proved  by  the  subject's  admission,  or  in  any  other 
manner,  that  he  really  died  once  in  a  natural  way. 


20  Amos  Kilbriglit : 

You  cannot  be  tried  for  causing  a  man's  death  a 
second  time." 

I  was  not  prepared  to  make  any  answer  on  this 
point,  but  I  went  away  with  a  firm  resolution  to 
protect  Amos  Kilbright  in  the  full  enjoyment  of 
his  reassumed  physical  existence,  if  the  power  of 
law,  or  any  other  power,  could  do  it. 

The  next  morning  Mr.  Corbridge  called  on  me 
at  my  office.  "  I  shall  be  very  sorry,"  he  said,  "  if 
any  of  my  remarks  of  yesterday  should  cause  un 
pleasant  feelings  between  us.  We  are  desirous  of 
being  on  good  terms  with  everybody,  especially 
with  members  of  the  Society  for  Psychical  Re 
search.  You  ought  to  work  with  us." 

"  We  do  not  work  with  you,"  I  replied,  "  nor 
ever  shall.  Our  object  is  to  search  earnestly  and 
honestly  into  the  subject  of  spiritual  manifestation, 
and  not  to  make  money  out  of  unfortunate  sub 
jects  of  experiment." 

"  You  misunderstand  us,"  said  he,  "but  I  am  not 
going  to  argue  the  question.  I  wish  to  be  on  good 
terms  with  you  and  to  act  fairly  and  plainly  all 
around.  We  find  that  we  cannot  make  use  of  the  de- 
materialization  process  as  soon  as  we  expected,  for 
the  German  scientist  who  controls  it  has  declined 
to  send  us  his  formula,  but  has  consented  to  come 
over  and  work  it  on  this  subject  himself.  His  en- 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  21 

gagements  will  not  allow  him  to  visit  this  coun 
try  immediately,  but  he  is  very  enthusiastic  about 
it,  and  he  is  bound  to  come  before  long.  Now, 
as  you  seem  to  be  interested  in  this  ex-Kilbright, 
we  will  make  you  an  offer.  We  will  give  him  into 
your  charge  until  we  want  him.  He  is  of  no  use 
to  us,  as  he  can't  tell  us  anything  about  spiritual 
matters,  his  present  memory  beginning  just  where 
it  broke  off  when  he  sank  in  the  ocean  in  seventeen 
eighty-five,  but  he  might  be  very  useful  to  a  man 
who  was  inclined  to  study  up  old-time  manners 
and  customs.  And  so,  if  it  suits  you,  we  will 
make  him  over  to  you,  agreeing  to  give  you  three 
days'  notice  before  we  take  any  measures  to  de- 
materialize  him.  We  are  not  afraid  of  your  get 
ting  away  with  him,  for  our  power  over  him  will 
be  all  the  same,  no  matter  where  he  is." 

"  I  will  have  no  man  made  over  to  me,"  said  I, 
"  and  Mr.  Kilbright  being  his  own  master,  can 
do  with  himself  what  he  pleases ;  but,  as  I  said 
before,  I  shall  protect  him,  and  do  everything 
in  my  power  to  thwart  your  schemes  against 
him.  And  you  must  remember  he  will  have 
other  friends  besides  me.  He  has  relatives  in  this 
town." 

"  None  but  old  Mr.  Scott,  at  least  so  far  as  I 
know,"  said  Corbridge,  "  and  he  need  not  expect 


22  Amos  Kilbright : 

any  help  from  him,  for  that  ancient  personage  is  a 
most  arrant  disbeliever  in  spiritualism." 

And  .with  this  remark  he  took  his  leave. 

That  very  afternoon  came  to  me  Amos  Kil 
bright,  his  face  shining  with  pleasure.  He  greeted 
me  warmly,  and  thanked  me  for  having  so  kindly 
offered  to  give  him  employment  by  which  he 
might  live  and  feel  under  obligations  to  no  man. 

I  had  promised  nothing  of  the  kind,  and  my 
mind  was  filled  with  abhorrence  of  such  men  as 
Corbridge,  who  would  not  only  send  a  person  into 
the  other  world  simply  to  gratify  a  scientific  curi 
osity  or  for  purposes  of  profit,  but  would  rehabili 
tate  a  departed  spirit  with  all  his  lost  needs  and 
appetites,  and  then  foist  him  upon  a  compara 
tive  stranger  for  care  and  sustenance.  Such  con 
duct  was  not  only  mean,  but  criminal  in  its  nature, 
and  if  there  was  no  law  against  it,  one  ought  to 
be  made. 

Kilbright  then  proceeded  to  tell  me  how  happy 
he  had  been  when  Corbridge  informed  him  that 
his  dematerialization  had  been  indefinitely  post 
poned,  and  that  I  had  consented  to  take  him  into 
my  service.  "  It  is  now  plain  to  me,"  he  said, 
"  that  they  have  no  power  to  do  this  thing  and 
cannot  obtain  it  from  others.  This  discardment  of 
me  proves  that  they  have  abandoned  their  hopes." 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  23 

It  was  evident  that  Corbridge  had  said  nothing 
of  the  expected  coming  of  the  German  scientist, 
and  I  would  not  be  cruel  enough  to  speak  of  it 
myself.  Besides,  I  intended  to  have  said  scien 
tist  arrested  and  put  under  bonds  as  soon  as  he 
set  foot  on  our  shores. 

"  I  do  not  feel,"  continued  Kilbright,  "  that  I 
am  beginning  a  new  life,  but  that  I  am  taking  up 
my  old  one  at  the  point  where  I  left  it  off." 

"  You  cannot  do  that,"  I  said.  "  Things  have 
changed  very  much,  and  you  will  have  to  adapt 
yourself  to  those  changes.  In  many  ways  you 
must  begin  again." 

"  I  know  that,"  he  said,  "  and  with  respect  to 
much  that  I  see  about  me,  I  am  but  a  child.  But 
as  I  am  truly  a  man,  I  shall  begin  to  do  a  man's 
work,  and  what  I  know  not  of  the  things  that  are 
about  me,  that  will  I  learn  as  quickly  as  may  be. 
It  is  my  purpose,  sir,  to  labor  with  you  in  any 
manner  which  you  may  deem  fit,  and  in  which  I 
may  be  found  serviceable  until  I  have  gained  suf 
ficient  money  to  travel  to  Bixbury,  and  there  en 
deavor  to  establish  myself  in  some  worthy  em 
ployment.  I  had  at  that  place  a  small  estate, 
but  of  that  I  shall  take  no  heed.  Without  doubt 
it  has  gone,  rightly,  to  my  heirs,  and  even  if  I 
could  deprive  them  of  it  I  would  not." 


24  Amos  KilbrigJit  : 

"  Have  you  living  heirs  besides  your  grandson 
here?"  I  asked. 

"That  I  know  not,"  he  said;  "but  if  there  be 
such  I  greatly  long  to  see  them." 

"And  how  about  old  Mr.  Scott?"  said  I. 
"  When  shall  we  go  to  him  and  tell  him  who  you 
are?" 

"  I  greatly  desire  that  that  may  be  done  soon," 
answered  Kilbright,  "  but  first  I  wish  to  establish 
myself  in  some  means  of  livelihood,  so  that  he  may 
not  think  that  I  come  to  him  for  maintenance." 

Of  course  it  was  not  possible  for  me  to  turn 
this  man  away  and  tell  him  I  had  nothing  for  him 
to  do,  and  therefore  I  must  devise  employment 
for  him.  I  found  that  he  wrote  a  fair  hand,  a 
little  stiff  and  labored,  but  legible  and  neat,  and 
as  I  had  a  good  deal  of  copying  to  do  I  decided 
to  set  him  to  work  upon  this.  I  procured  board 
and  lodging  for  him  in  a  house  near  by,  and  a  very 
happy  being  was  Amos  Kilbright. 

As  for  me  I  felt  that  I  was  doing  my  duty,  and 
a  good  work.  But  the  responsibility  was  heavy, 
and  my  road  was  not  at  all  clear  before  me.  My 
principal  source  of  anxiety  was  in  regard  to  my 
wife.  Should  I  tell  her  the  truth  about  my  new 
copyist,  or  not  ?  In  the  course  of  a  night  I  re 
solved  this  question  and  determined  to  tell  her 


His  Adscititions  Experiences.  25 

everything.  When  the  man  was  merely  Mr.  Cor- 
bridge's  subject  the  case  was  different ;  but  to 
have  daily  in  my  office  a  clerk  who  had  been 
drowned  one  hundred  and  two  years  before,  and 
not  tell  Mrs.  Colesworthy  of  it  would  be  an  injus 
tice  to  her. 

When  I  first  made  known  to  her  the  facts  of  the 
case  my  wife  declared  that  she  believed  "  Psy 
chics"  had  turned  my  brain  ;  but  when  I  offered 
to  show  her  the  very  man  who  had  been  material 
ized,  she  consented  to  go  down  and  look  at  him. 
I  informed  Kilbright  that  my  wife  knew  his  story, 
and  we  three  had  a  long  and  very  interesting  con 
versation.  After  an  hour's  talk,  during  which  my 
wife  asked  a  great  many  questions  which  I  should 
never  have  thought  of,  we  went  upstairs  and  left 
Kilbright  to  his  work. 

"  His  story  is  a  most  wonderful  one,"  said  Mrs. 
Colesworthy,  "but  I  don't  believe  he  is  a  material 
ized  spirit,  because  the  thing  is  impossible.  Still 
it  will  not  do  to  make  any  mistakes,  and  we  must 
try  all  we  can  to  help  him  in  case  he  was  drowned 
when  he  says  he  was,  and  that  German  comes  over 
to  end  his  mortal  career  a  second  time.  Science  is 
getting  to  be  such  a  wicked  thing  that  I  am  sure 
if  he  crosses  the  ocean  on  purpose  to  dematerialize 
Mr.  Kilbright,  he  will  try  to  do  it  in  some  way  or 


26  Amos  KilbrigJit : 

other,  whether  the  poor  man  was  ever  a  spirit  be 
fore  or  not.  One  thing,  however,  is  certain,  I 
want  to  be  present  when  old  Mr.  Scott  is  told  that 
that  young  man  is  his  grandfather." 

Mr.  Kilbright  worked  very  assiduously,  and  soon 
proved  himself  of  considerable  use  to  me.  When 
he  had  lived  in  Bixbury  he  had  been  a  surveyor 
and  a  farmer,  and  now  when  he  finished  his  copy 
ing  duties  for  the .  day,  or  when  I  had  no  work  of 
that  kind  ready  for  him,  it  delighted  him  much  to 
go  into  my  garden  and  rake  and  hoe  among  the 
flowers  and  vegetables.  I  frequently  walked  with 
him  about  the  town,  showing  and  explaining  to 
him  the  great  changes  that  had  taken  place  since 
the  former  times  in  which  he  had  lived.  But  he 
was  not  impressed  by  these  things  as  I  expected 
him  to  be. 

"  It  seems  to  me,"  he  said,  "  as  though  I  were 
in  a  foreign  country,  and  I  look  upon  what  lies 
about  me  as  if  everything  had  always  been  as  I  see 
it.  This  town  is  so  different  from  anything  I  have 
ever  known  that  I  cannot  imagine  it  has  changed 
from  a  condition  which  was  once  familiar  to  me. 
At  Bixbury,  however,  I  think  the  case  will  be 
otherwise.  If  there  are  changes  there  I  shall  no 
tice  them.  In  a  little  place  like  that,  however,  I 
have  hopes  that  the  changes  will  not  be  great." 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  27 

He  was  very  conservative,  and  I  could  see  that 
in  many  cases  he  thought  the  old  ways  of  doing 
things  much  better  than  the  new  ones.  He  was, 
however,  a  polite  and  sensible  man,  and  knew  bet 
ter  than  to  make  criticisms  to  one  who  had  be 
friended  him  ;  but  in  some  cases  he  could  not  con 
ceal  his  disapprobation.  He  had  seen  a  train  of 
cars  before  I  met  him,  and  I  was  not  able  to  induce 
him  to  approach  again  a  railroad  track.  Whatever 
other  feelings  he  may  have  had  at  first  sight  of  a 
train  in  motion  were  entirely  swallowed  up  in  his 
abhorrence  of  this  mode  of  travelling. 

"  We  must  not  be  in  a  hurry,"  said  my  wife 
when  we  talked  of  these  matters.  "  When  he  gets 
more  accustomed  to  these  things  he  will  be  more 
surprised  at  them." 

There  were  some  changes,  however,  which  truly 
did  astonish  him,  and  these  were  the  alterations — 
in  his  opinion  entirely  uncalled  for  and  unwar 
rantable — which  had  been  made  in  the  spelling  of 
the  words  of  our  language  since  he  had  gone  to 
school.  No  steam-engine,  no  application  of  elec 
tricity,  none  of  the  modern  inventions  which  I 
showed  him,  caused  him  the  emotions  of  amaze 
ment  which  were  occasioned  by  the  information 
that  in  this  country  "  honor "  was  now  spelled 
without  a  u. 


28  Amos  Kilbright: 

During  this  time  Mr.  Kilbright's  interest  in  his 
grandson  seemed  to  be  on  the  increase.  He  would 
frequently  walk  past  the  house  of  that  old  gentle 
man  merely  for  the  purpose  of  looking  at  him  as 
he  sat  by  the  open  window  reading  his  newspaper 
or  quietly  smoking  his  evening  pipe  on  a  bench  in 
his  side  yard.  When  he  had  been  with  me  about 
ten  days  he  said :  "  I  now  feel  that  I  must  go  and 
make  myself  known  to  my  grandson.  I  am  earn 
ing  my  own  subsistence ;  and,  however  he  may 
look  upon  me,  he  need  not  fear  that  I  am  come  to 
be  a  burden  upon  him.  You  will  not  wonder,  sir, 
that  I  long  to  meet  with  this  son  of  the  little  baby 
girl  I  left  behind  me." 

I  did  not  wonder,  and  my  wife  and  I  agreed  to 
go  with  him  that  very  evening  to  old  Mr.  Scott's 
house.  The  old  gentleman  received  us  very  cor 
dially  in  his  little  parlor. 

"  You  are  a  stranger  in  this  town,  sir,"  he  said  to 
Kilbright.  "  I  did  not  exactly  catch  your  name — 
Kilbright  ?  "  he  said,  when  it  had  been  repeated  to 
him,  "  that  is  one  of  my  family  names,  but  it  is 
long  since  I  have  heard  of  anyone  bearing  it.  My 
mother  was  a  Kilbright,  but  she  had  no  brothers, 
and  no  uncles  of  the  name.  My  grandfather  was 
the  last  of  our  branch  of  the  Kilbrights.  His 
name  was  Amos,  and  he  was  a  Bixbury  man. 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  29 

From  what  part  of  the  country  do  you  come, 
sir?" 

"  My  name  is  Amos,  and  I  was  born  in  Bix- 
bury." 

Old  Mr.  Scott  sat  up  very  straight  in  his  chair. 
"  Young  man,  that  seems  to  me  impossible  ! "  he 
exclaimed.  "  Hew  could  there  be  any  Kilbrights 
in  Bixbury  and  I  not  know  of  it  ?  "  Then  taking 
a  pair  of  big  silver  spectacles  from  his  pocket  he 
put  them  on  and  attentively  surveyed  his  visitor, 
whose  countenance  during  this  scrutiny  was  filled 
with  emotion. 

Presently  the  old  gentleman  took  off  his  specta 
cles  and,  rising  from  his  chair,  went  into  another 
room.  Quickly  returning,  he  brought  with  him  a 
small  oil-painting  in  a  narrow,  old-fashioned  frame. 
He  stood  it  up  on  a  table  in  a  position  where  a 
good  light  from  the  lamp  fell  upon  it.  It  was  the 
portrait  of  a  young  man  with  a  fresh,  healthy  face, 
dressed  in  an  old-style  high-collared  coat,  with  a 
wide  cravat  coming  up  under  his  chin,  and  a  bit  of 
ruffle  sticking  out  from  his  shirt-bosom.  My  wife 
and  I  gazed  at  it  with  awe. 

"  That,  "  said  old  Mr.  Scott,  "  is  the  picture  of 
my  grandfather,  Amos  Kilbright,  taken  at  twenty- 
five.  He  was  drowned  at  sea  some  years  after 
ward,  but  exactly  how  I  do  not  know.  My  moth- 


3O  Amos  KilbrigJit : 

er  did  not  remember  him  at  all.  And  I  must  say," 
he  continued,  putting  on  his  spectacles  again,  "that 
there  is  something  of  a  family  likeness  between 
you,  sir,  and  that  picture.  If  it  wasn't  for  the 
continental  clothes  in  the  painting  there  would  be 
a  good  deal  of  resemblance — yes,  a  very  great 
deal. " 

"  It  is  my  portrait,  "  said  Mr.  Kilbright,  his  voice 
trembling  as  he  spoke.  "  It  was  painted  by  Tat- 
low  Munson  in  the  winter  of  seventeen  eighty,  in 
payment  for  my  surveying  a  large  tract  of  land 
north  of  the  town,  he  having  no  money  to  other 
wise  compensate  me.  He  wrote  his  name  in  ink 
upon  the  back  of  the  canvas.  " 

Old  Mr.  Scott  took  up  the  picture  and  turned  it 
around.  And  there  we  all  saw  plainly  written 
upon  the  time-stained  back,  "Tatlow  Munson, 
1780." 

Old  Mr.  Scott  laid  the  picture  upon  the  table, 
took  off  his  spectacles,  and  with  wide-open  eyes 
gazed  first  at  Mr.  Kilbright  and  then  at  us. 

The  sight  of  the  picture  had  finished  the  con 
version  of  my  wife.  "  Oh,  Mr.  Scott,  "  she  cried, 
leaning  so  far  forward  in  her  chair  that  it  seemed 
as  if  she  were  about  to  go  down  on  her  knees  be 
fore  the  old  man,  "this  gentleman  is  your  grand 
father!  Yes,  he  is,  indeed!  Oh,  don't  discard 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  31 

him,  for  it  was  you  who  were  the  cause  of  his  be 
ing  here.  Don't  you  remember  when  you  went  to 
the  spiritualist  meeting,  and  asked  to  see  the  spirit 
of  your  grandfather?  That  spirit  came,  but  you 
didn't  know  it.  The  people  who  materialized  him 
were  surprised  when  they  saw  this  young  man, 
and  they  thought  he  couldn't  be  your  grandfather, 
and  so  they  didn't  say  anything  about  it;  and  they 
left  him  right  in  the  middle  of  whatever  they  use, 
and  he  kept  on  materializing  without  their  think 
ing  of  him  until  he  became  just  what  you  see  him 
now.  And  if  he  now  wore  old-fashioned  clothes 
with  a  queue,  he  would  be  the  exact  image  of  that 
portrait  of  him  which  you  have,  only  a  little  bit 
older  looking  and  fuller  in  the  face.  But  the  spirit 
ualists  made  him  cut  off  his  long  hair,  because  they 
said  that  wouldn't  do  in  these  days,  and  dressed 
him  in  those  common  clothes  just  like  any  other 
person.  And  oh,  dear  Mr.  Scott,  you  must  see 
for  yourself  that  he  is  truly  your  grandfather ! " 

Old  Mr.  Scott  made  no  answer,  but  still  sat 
with  wide-open  eyes  gazing  from  one  to  the  other 
of  us.  As  I  looked  at  that  aged,  white-haired  man 
and  thought  of  his  mother,  who  must  have  died 
ever  so  long  ago,  being  the  daughter  of  the  young 
man  who  sat  opposite  to  him,  it  was  indeed  diffi 
cult  to  believe  that  these  things  could  be  so. 


32  Amos  Kilbright : 

"  Mr.  Scott,"  exclaimed  my  wife,  "will  you  not 
speak  to  him  ?  Will  you  not  give  him  your  hand  ? 
Will  you  not  acknowledge  him  as  your  grandfather, 
whose  picture  you  have  always  had  near  you,  and 
which,  when  a  little  boy,  I  expect  your  dear  moth 
er  has  often  told  you  to  look  up  to  and  try  to  be 
like?  And  if  you  have  grown  old,  and  he  has 
not,  on  account  of  differences  in  circumstances, 
why  should  that  make  any  difference  in  your  feel 
ings,  dear  Mr.  Scott  ?  Oh,  why  don't  you  let  him 
take  you  to  his  heart  ?  I  don't  see  how  you  can 
help  it,"  she  said,  with  a  sob,  "  and  you  his  little 
daughter's  only  child !  " 

Old  Mr.  Scott  rose  to  his  feet.  He  pulled  down 
the  sleeves  of  his  coat,  and  gave  an  adjusting  shake 
to  its  collar  and  lapels.  Then  he  turned  to  my 
wife  and  said :  "Madam,  let  us  two  dance  a  Vir 
ginia  reel  while  your  husband  and  that  other  one 
take  the  poker  and  tongs  and  beat  out  the  music 
on  the  shovel.  We  might  as  well  be  durned.  fools 
one  way  as  another,  and  all  go  to  the  lunatic  asy 
lum  together. " 

Now  arose  Mr.  Kilbright  to  his  feet,  and  stood 
up  very  tall.  "  Grandson  Lemuel, "  he  said,  "  I 
leave  not  your  house  in  anger.  I  see  well  that  too 
heavy  a  task  has  been  laid  upon  your  declining  years 
when  you  are  asked  to  believe  that  which  you  have 


His  Adscititions  Experiences.  33 

heard  to-day.  But  I  wish  you  to  know  that  I  am 
here  to  ask  nothing  of  you  save  that  you  will  give 
me  your  hand.  I  earnestly  crave  that  I  may  again 
touch  one  of  my  own  flesh  and  blood.  " 

Old  Mr.  Scott  picked  up  the  portrait  and  look 
ed  at  it.  Then  he  laid  it  down  and  looked  at  Mr. 
Kilbright.  "Young  man,"  said  he,  "can  you 
stand  there  and  put  your  hand  upon  your  heart, 
and  say  to  me  that  you  are  truly  Amos  Kilbright, 
my  mother's  father,  who  was  drowned  in  the  last 
century,  and  who  was  brought  back  and  turned 
into  a  live  man  by  those  spiritualists;  and  that 
you  are  willing  to  come  here  and  let  yourself  be 
vouched  for  by  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Colesworthy,  who 
belong  to  some  sort  of  society  of  that  kind  and 
ought  to  know  about  such  things  ?  " 

I  was  on  the  point  of  remarking  that  the  Society 
for  Psychical  Research  had  nothing  to  do  with 
spiritualism  except  to  investigate  it,  but  my  wife 
saw  my  intention  and  checked  me. 

Mr.  Kilbright  put  his  hand  upon  his  heart  and 
bowed.  "  What  you  have  heard  is  true,"  he  said. 
"  On  my  honor,  I  swear  it." 

"  Then,  grandfather,"  said  old  Mr.  Scott,  "  here 

is  my  hand.     It  doesn't   do  to   doubt   things  in 

these  days.     I    didn't   believe    in   the   telephone 

when  they  first  told  me  of  it,  but  when  I  had  a 

3 


34  Amos  Kilbright: 

talk  with  Squire  Braddon  through  a  wire,  and 
heard  his  new  boots  creak  as  he  came  up  to  see 
who  it  was  wanted  him,  and  he  in  his  own  house 
a  good  two  miles  away,  I  gave  in.  '  Fetch  on  your 
wonders,'  says  I,  '  I  am  ready.'  And  I  don't  sup 
pose  I  ought  to  be  any  more  dumfounded  at  see 
ing  my  grandfather  than  at  any  of  the  other  won 
ders.  I'm  getting  too  old  now  to  try  to  find  out 
the  whys  and  the  wherefores  of  the  new  things 
that  turn  up  every  day.  I  must  just  take  them  as 
they  come.  And  so  if  you,  grandfather  Kilbright, 
and  our  good  friends,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Colesworthy, 
will  come  into  the  back  room  we'll  have  a  cup  of 
tea,  and  a  talk  over  old  times.  To  be  sure,  there 
will  be  some  gaps  which  none  of  us  will  be  able 
to  get  over,  but  we  must  do  the  best  we  can." 

After  this  Mr.  Kilbright  and  his  grandson  saw  a 
good  deal  of  each  other,  and  the  old  gentleman 
always  treated  his  mother's  father  with  the  respect 
ful  deference  which  was  due  to  such  a  relative. 

"  There  are  times,"  he  once  said  to  me,  "  when 
this  grandfather  business  looks  to  me  about  as  big 
and  tough  as  anything  that  any  human  being  was 
ever  called  on  to  swallow.  But  then  I  consider 
that  you  and  Mrs.  Colesworthy  have  looked  into 
these  matters,  and  I  haven't,  and  that  knowin' 
nothin'  I  ought  to  say  nothin' ;  and  if  it  ever 


His  Adsciiitious  Experiences.  35 

happens  to  look  particularly  tough,  I  just  call  to 
mind  the  telephone  and  Squire  Braddon's  creaking 
boots,  and  that  settles  it." 

Mr.  Kilbright  became  more  and  more  useful  to 
me,  particularly  after  he  had  disciplined  his  mind 
to  the  new  style  of  spelling.  And  when  he  had 
been  with  me  about  a  month  I  insisted  that  he 
should  take  a  holiday  and  visit  Bixbury,  for  I  knew 
that  to  do  this  was  the  great  desire  of  his  heart. 
He  could  easily  reach  his  native  place  by  rail,  but 
believing  that  he  would  rather  not  go  at  all  than 
travel  on  a  train,  I  procured  a  saddle-horse  for  him, 
and  when  I  had  given  him  full  directions  as  to  the 
roads,  he  set  out. 

In  four  days  he  returned.  "  How  did  you  find 
Bixbury  ?"  I  asked  of  him. 

"  There  is  no  longer  such  a  place,"  he  answered, 
sadly.  "  I  found  a  town  of  that  name,  but  it  is 
not  the  Bixbury  in  which  I  was  born.  That  has 
utterly  disappeared.3' 

And,  after  this,  he  never  again  alluded  to  his 
native  place. 

The  high  character  and  many  admirable  quali 
ties  of  this  man  daily  increased  the  affectionate 
regard  and  esteem  in  which  he  was  held  by  my 
wife  and  myself;  and  feeling  that  we  could  do 
nothing  better  for  him  than  to  endeavor  to  make 


36  Amos  Kilbriglit : 

him  forget  the  things  of  the  past,  and  take  a  lively 
and  earnest  interest  in  those  of  the  present,  we  set 
ourselves  to  work  upon  this  task.  In  a  great  de 
gree  our  efforts  were  successful,  and  we  soon  per 
ceived  that  Mr.  Kilbright  cared  more  and  more 
for  what  he  saw  about  him.  It  was,  indeed, 
natural  that  he  should  do  this,  for  he  was  still  a 
young  man,  and  able  to  adapt  himself  to  changes 
in  his  surroundings. 

As  I  have  said,  he  gradually  did  so  adapt  him 
self,  and  in  the  course  of  the  autumn  this  adapta 
tion  took  a  form  which  at  first  amused  Mrs.  Coles- 
worthy  and  myself,  and  afterward  enlisted  our 
hearty  sympathy.  He  became  attached  to  Miss 
Budworth,  the  librarian  of  our  town  library.  He 
frequently  went  there  for  books,  and  as  she  was  a 
very  intelligent  young  woman,  and  very  willing  to 
aid  him  in  his  selections,  it  was  not  strange  that  he 
should  become  interested  in  her.  Very  often  he 
would  remain  at  the  library  until  it  closed  in  the 
evening,  when  he  would  walk  to  her  home  with 
her,  discoursing  upon  literary  and  historical  sub 
jects. 

My  wife  and  I  discussed  this  situation  very 
thoroughly.  Lilian  Budworth  was  a  good  girl,  a 
sensible  one,  and  a  very  good-looking  one.  Her 
family  was  highly  respectable  and  her  years  well 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  37 

proportioned  to  those  of  Mr.  Kilbright.  There 
seemed  to  be,  therefore,  no  reason  why  this  in 
timacy  should  not  be  encouraged.  But  yet  we 
talked  over  the  matter  night  after  night. 

"  You  see,"  said  my  wife,  "  it  all  seems  plain 
and  simple  enough ;  but,  on  the  other  hand,  it 
isn't.  In  the  first  place,  she  does  not  know  that  he 
has  had  a  wife,  or  what  old  Mr.  Scott  is  to  him. 
He  has  promised  us  that  he  will  never  say  any 
thing  to  anybody  about  having  lived  in  the  last 
century  without  first  consulting  us ;  and  old  Mr. 
Scott  has  said  over  and  over  again  that  he  doesn't 
intend  to  speak  of  it ;  and  the  spiritualists  have  left 
town  long  ago  ;  so,  of  course,  she  knows  nothing 
about  it.  But,  if  things  go  on,  she  must  be  told, 
and  what  will  happen  then,  I  would  like  to  know  !  " 

"I  am  very  sorry,  indeed,  that  I  cannot  tell 
you,"  I  answered. 

"  It  would  be  a  queer  case,  anyway,"  Mrs.  Coles- 
worthy  continued.  "  Mr.  Kilbright  has  had  a 
wife,  but  he  never  was  a  widower.  Now,  having 
been  married,  and  never  having  been  a  widower, 
it  would  seem  as  if  he  ought  not  to  marry  again. 
But  his  first  wife  is  dead  now,  there  can  be  no 
doubt  about  that." 

It  was  not  long  before  there  was  no  further  need 
for  suppositions  in  regard  to  this  matter,  for  Mr. 


38  AMOS  Kilbright: 

Kilbright  came  to  us  and  announced  that  he  had 
determined  to  offer  himself  in  marriage  to  Miss 
Bud  worth. 

"  I  think  it  is  meet  and  proper,"  he  said,  "that 
I  should  wed  and  take  that  position  at  the  head 
of  a  family  which  a  right-minded  and  respectable 
man  of  my  age  should  fill.  I  reasoned  thus  when 
for  the  first  time  I  took  upon  me  this  pleasing 
duty,  and  these  reasons  have  now  the  self-same 
weight  as  then.  I  have  been  studying  the  survey 
ing  methods  of  the  present  day,  and  I  believe 
I  could  re-establish  myself  in  my  former  profession. 
Thus  could  I  maintain  a  wife,  if,  happily,  I  get 
her." 

"Get  her!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Colesworthy,  "of 
course  you  will  get  her !  She  can't  help  accepting 
you." 

"  I  should  feel  the  more  hope,  madam,"  said 
Mr.  Kilbright,  "were  it  not  requisite  that  she  be 
informed  of  all  that  has  happened  to  me.  And  all 
this  must  she  know  before  I  require  her  to  make 
answer  to  me." 

"  I  must  admit,"  I  said,  "  that  I  am  afraid  you 
are  going  to  have  a  tough  job." 

"  I  don't  believe  it ! "  warmly  exclaimed  my 
wife.  "  Lilian  Budworth  is  a  girl  of  good,  solid 
sense,  and  when  she  knows  just  exactly  what  has 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  39 

happened,  it  is  my  opinion  she  will  not  object  a 
bit." 

"  Madam,"  said  Mr.  Kilbright,  "  you  greatly  em 
bolden  me,  and  I  shall  speak  to  Miss  Budworth 
this  very  day." 

Notwithstanding  my  wife's  confidence  in  Miss 
Lilian's  good  sense,  she  was  as  much  surprised  as 
I  when,  the  next  morning,  Mr.  Kilbright  informed 
us  that  he  had  been  accepted.  As  it  was  yet  an 
hour  before  the  library  would  open,  she  hurried 
around  to  Miss  Budworth's  home  to  know  all 
about  it. 

The  young  lady  was  found,  pale,  but  very  happy. 
"  When  he  left  me  last  night,"  she  said,  "  my  mind 
was  in  a  strange  hubbub.  He  had  told  me  that  he 
loved  me,  and  had  asked  me  to  marry  him,  and  my 
heart  would  not  let  me  say  anything  but  'yes;' 
and  yet,  after  he  had  gone,  his  wondrous  story 
came  up  before  me  as  it  had  not  come  when  he 
told  it,  having  just  told  something  else.  I  did  not 
sleep  all  night,  thinking  of  it.  I  have  read  and 
pondered  a  great  deal  upon  these  subjects,  but 
have  never  been  able  to  make  up  my  mind  whether 
or  not  to  put  faith  in  the  strange  spiritual  mani 
festations  of  which  we  are  told.  So  I  determined, 
a  good  while  ago,  not  to  consider  the  matter  at  all. 
I  could  do  nothing  with  it,  and  it  would  be  better 


4o  Amos  Kilbright : 

that  I  should  let  it  alone.  To  this  same  determi 
nation  I  came  early  this  morning  in  the  case  of 
Mr.  Kilbright.  None  of  us  know  what  we  may 
once  have  been,  nor  what  we  may  become.  All 
we  know  is  what  we  are.  Mr.  Kilbright  may  be 
mistaken  as  to  what  he  was,  but  I  know  what  he 
is.  And  to  that  man  I  give  myself  as  I  am.  I  am 
perfectly  satisfied  with  the  present." 

Mrs.  Colesworthy  enfolded  her  in  an  approba 
tory  embrace,  and  hurried  home  to  tell  me  about 
it.  "  There  now  !  "  she  exclaimed,  "  didn't  I  say 
that  Lilian  Budworth  was  a  girl  of  good,  sound 
common-sense  ?  " 

"  That  is  what  you  said,"  I  answered,  "  but  I 
must  admit  that  I  was  afraid  her  common-sense 
would  interfere  with  her  acceptance  of  his  story. 
We  had  outside  evidence  in  regard  to  it,  but  she 
had  only  his  simple  statement." 

"  Which  is  quite  enough,  when  a  woman  truly 
loves,"  said  Mrs.  Colesworthy. 

When  old  Mr.  Scott  was  informed  what  had 
happened,  he  put  down  his  newspaper,  took  off  his 
spectacles,  and  smiled  a  strange,  wide  smile.  "  I 
have  been  reading,"  he  said,  "  about  a  little  ma 
chine,  or  box,  that  you  can  talk  into  and  then  cork 
up  and  send  by  mail  across  the  ocean  to  anybody 
you  know  there.  And  then  he  can  uncork  it,  and 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  41 

out  will  come  all  you  have  said  in  your  very  words 
and  voice,  with  the  sniffles  and  sneezes  that  might 
have  got  in  accidental.  So  that  if  one  of  the  Old 
Testament  Egyptians  that  they've  been  diggin' 
up  lately  had  had  one  of  these  boxes  with  him  it 
might  have  been  uncorked  and  people  could  have 
heard  in  his  own  voice  just  who  he  was  and  what 
was  his  personal  opinion  of  Moses  and  his  brother 
Aaron.  Now,  when  an  old  man  like  me  has  just 
come  to  know  of  a  thing  of  this  kind,  it  isn't  for 
him  to  have  a  word  to  say  when  he  is  told  that 
Lilian  Budworth  is  to  be  his  step-grandmother  ;  he 
must  take  it  in  along  with  the  other  wonders." 

As  to  Mr.  Kilbright  and  his  lady-love  they 
troubled  themselves  about  no  wonders.  Life  was 
very  real  to  them,  and  very  delightful ;  and  they 
were  happy.  Despite  her  resolutions  to  give  no 
consideration  whatever  to  her  lover's  previous  ex 
istence,  Miss  Budworth  did  consider  it  a  good  deal, 
and  talked  and  thought  about  it,  and  at  last  came 
to  understand  and  appreciate  the  fact  as  thoroughly 
as  did  Mrs.  Colesworthy  and  myself ;  and  she 
learned  much  more  of  Mr.  Kilbright's  former  life 
than  his  modesty  had  allowed  him  to  tell  us. 
And  some  of  these  things  she  related  with  much 
pride.  He  had  been  a  soldier  during  the  Revolu 
tion,  having  enlisted,  at  the  age  of  twenty-three, 


42  Amos  Kilb right  : 

under  General  Sullivan,  when  his  forces  lay  near 
Newport.  He  afterward  followed  that  comman 
der  in  his  Indian  campaigns  in  Western  New 
York,  and  served  during  the  rest  of  the  war.  It 
was  when  the  army  was  in  winter  quarters  in 
1780  that  Tatlow  Munson  painted  his  portrait 
in  payment  of  an  old  debt.  Miss  Budworth's 
glowing  rendition  of  Mr.  Kilbright's  allusions  to 
some  of  the  revolutionary  incidents  in  which  he 
had  had  a  part,  made  us  proud  to  shake  hands 
with  a  man  who  had  fought  for  our  liberties  and 
helped  to  give  us  the  independence  which  we 
now  enjoy. 

Mr.  Kilbright's  business  prospects  soon  began  to 
look  promising.  As  was  quite  natural,  his  ideas 
upon  some  subjects  were  a  little  antiquated.  But, 
although  many  of  the  changes  and  improvements 
he  saw  about  him  met  with  no  favor  in  his  eyes, 
he  had  sense  enough  to  take  advantage  of  certain 
modern  progressive  ideas,  especially  such  as  re 
lated  to  his  profession  of  surveying.  My  introduc 
tion  of  him  as  a  friend  from  Bixbury  helped  him 
much  in  respect  to  patronage,  and  having  devoted 
all  his  spare  time  during  the  autumn  and  winter  to 
study  and  the  formation  of  business  connections, 
he  secured  enough  profitable  employment  for  the 
coming  season  to  justify  him  in  taking  to  himself 


His  Adscititions  Experiences.  43 

a  wife  ;  and  his  marriage  with  Miss  Budworth  was 
appointed  for  the  middle  of  April. 

It  was  about  the  end  of  March  when  I  received 
a  letter  from  Mr.  Corbridge,  the  spiritualist  man 
ager,  in  which  he  informed  me  that  Dr.  Hildstein, 
the  German  scientist,  of  whom  he  had  previously 
spoken  to  me,  had  set  sail  for  America  and  would 
probably  arrive  in  about  ten  days.  "  As  soon  as 
possible  after  his  arrival,"  wrote  Mr.  Corbridge, "  we 
shall  resume  possession  of  the  subject  of  whom 
you  have  been  kind  enough  to  take  charge  during 
the  time  when  we  had  no  need  of  him.  He  will 
then  be  dematerialized  in  order  that  we  may  cause 
him  to  manifest  himself  in  our  seances  whenever 
it  may  be  desirable ;  but  never,  I  may  say,  in  the 
complete  and  perfect  physical  condition  to  which 
he  was  unintentionally  materialized  the  first  time. 
I  promised  you  that  I  would  give  you  at  least  three 
days'  notice  of  our  intention  to  resume  work  on 
this  subject,  and  I  have  now  been  much  better 
than  my  word.  I  have  written  very  plainly  of  our 
intentions,  because  we  wish  you  to  understand  ex 
actly  what  we  are  going  to  do ;  and  should  we 
succeed  in  our  proposed  experiment,  which  we  cer 
tainly  expect  to  do,  we  shall,  probably,  make  pub 
lic  our  whole  action  in  the  affair,  for  this  course 
would  most  greatly  benefit  both  ourselves  and  our 


44  Amos  Kilbriglit : 

cause.  It  will  not  be  necessary  for  you  to  inform 
the  subject  of  our  intention,  for  our  power  over 
him  will  be  as  great  at  one  time  and  at  one  place 
as  at  another ;  and  as  his  co-operation  is  not  in 
any  way  needful,  you  will  see  for  yourself  that  it 
will  be  pleasanter  for  him  not  to  concern  himself 
with  what  we  are  about  to  do." 

When  I  had  read  this  letter,  I  sat  for  half  an 
hour  with  it  open  in  my  hands.  It  came  upon 
me  like  a  shower  of  iced  water.  I  had  supposed 
that  the  spiritualists  had  utterly  abandoned  their 
endeavors  to  dematerialize  Mr.  Kilbright.  There 
fore,  the  news  of  the  revival  of  these  criminal  in 
tentions  greatly  shocked  me.  To  be  sure,  the 
coming  scientist  might  have  no  such  power  as  he 
pretended  to  possess,  but  this  supposition  did  not 
comfort  me.  If  the  man  had  not  already  had  suc 
cess  in  that  sort  of  thing  it  is  not  likely  that  he 
would  come  over  here  to  attempt  it  now. 

When  I  had  sufficiently  quieted  my  mental  agi 
tation  I  wrote  instantly  to  Mr.  Corbridge,  and  in 
my  letter  I  assumed  a  very  confident  tone.  I  told 
him  that  Mr.  Kilbright's  circumstances  had  so 
changed  that  the  intended  action  of  the  spiritual 
ists  in  regard  to  him  was  now  rendered  impossi 
ble.  He  had  become  an  active  member  of  society, 
had  gone  into  business,  and  would  be  married  in 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  45 

April.  The  mere  statement  of  these  facts  would, 
I  felt  quite  certain — so  I  wrote — cause  the  spirit 
ualists  to  instantly  relinquish  all  idea  of  carrying 
out  their  previous  intention  in  regard  to  this  most 
estimable  man.  If,  however,  any  inhuman  crav 
ing  for  scientific  investigation  should  cause  them 
to  persist  in  their  cruel  and  criminal  designs,  the 
utmost  power  of  the  law  should  be  invoked  against 
them.  "  To  take  away  human  life,"  I  wrote,  "  in 
a  case  like  this  is  murder,  no  matter  how  it  is  done, 
and  should  you  take  away  Mr.  Kilbright's  life,  or 
even  attempt  it,  you  shall  be  indicted  and  pun 
ished  for  this  cold-blooded  and  premeditated 
crime." 

Before  I  had  read  this  letter,  I  found  it  absolutely 
necessary  for  my  peace  of  mind  that  I  should  make 
my  wife  acquainted  with  the  threatened  danger, 
and  confer  with  her  as  to  what  it  would  be  well 
to  do.  Of  course,  Mrs.  Colesworthy  was  greatly 
shocked  when  I  read  her  Corbridge's  letter,  but 
she  recovered  courage  sooner  than  I  had  done. 

"  It's  all  stuff  and  nonsense,"  she  said.  "  The 
man  is  just  as  much  alive  as  you  and  I  are,  and  I 
don't  believe  any  human  power  can  turn  him  into 
a  spirit.  They  might  kill  him,  but  then  he  would 
be  a  dead  man  and  not  a  spiritual  mist  or  vapor. 
I  don't  believe  they  even  intend  to  try  to  do  any- 


46  Amos  KilbrigJit : 

thing  of  the  kind.  They  merely  wish  you  to  hand 
him  over  to  them  so  they  can  make  him  work  for 
them  for  little  or  no  pay.  They  think,  and  with 
good  reason,  too,  that  by  this  time  you  have  taught 
him  how  to  get  along  at  the  present  day,  and  that 
he  may  now  be  of  some  use  to  them." 

I  showed  her  the  letter  I  had  written,  and  she 
highly  approved  of  it.  "  If  I  were  you,"  she  said, 
"  I  would  send  that  letter,  and  then  I  would  not 
do  another  thing.  Take  my  word  for  it,  you  will 
never  hear  from  those  people  again." 

We  resolved,  of  course,  that  we  would  say  noth 
ing  to  Mr.  Kilbright  or  Lilian  about  this  matter, 
for  it  was  unwise  to  needlessly  trouble  their  minds ; 
but  we  could  not  help  talking  about  it  a  great  deal 
ourselves.  In  spite  of  the  reassuring  arguments 
which  we  continually  thought  of,  or  spoke  of  to 
each  other,  we  were  troubled,  anxious,  and  appre 
hensive. 

"  If  we  could  only  get  them  safely  married," 
said  Mrs.  Colesworthy,  "  I  should  feel  at  ease. 
Certainly  those  people  would  not  do  anything  to 
him  then." 

"  I  don't  believe  they  can  do  anything  to  him  at 
all,"  I  answered.  "  But  how  a  marriage  is  going 
to  protect  him  I  cannot  imagine." 

"  Of  course,  you  can't  explain  such  things,"  said 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  47 

my  wife,  "  but  I  do  wish  they  were  married  and 
settled." 

Not  long  after  this  she  came  to  me  with  a  sup 
position.  "  Supposing,"  she  said,  "  that  those 
people  find  it  impossible  to  dematerialize  him, 
they  might  do  something  which  would  be  a  great 
deal  worse." 

"  What  could  that  possibly  be  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  They  might  materialize  his  first  wife,"  said 
she,  "  and  could  anything  be  more  dreadful  than 
that  ?  I  suppose  that  woman  lived  to  a  good  old 
age,  and  to  bring  her  forward  now  would  be  a 
height  of  cruelty  of  which  I  believe  those  people 
to  be  fully  capable." 

"  My  dear,"  I  exclaimed,  "  don't  bring  up  any 
harrowing  possibilities  which  no  one  but  yourself 
is  likely  to  think  of." 

"  I  wish  I  could  be  sure  of  that,"  she  said.  "  I 
have  heard,  but  I  don't  know  how  true  it  is,  that 
spirits  cannot  be  called  up  and  materialized  unless 
somebody  wants  them,  and  I  don't  suppose  there 
is  anybody  who  wants  the  first  Mrs.  Kilbright. 
But  these  men  might  so  work  on  Mr.  Kilbright's 
mind  as  to  make  him  think  that  he  ought  to  want 
her." 

I  groaned.  "  Dear  me  ! "  I  said.  "  I  suppose 
if  they  did  that  they  would  also  bring  up  old  Mr. 


48  Amos  Kilbright : 

Scott's  mother,  and  then  we  should  have  a  united 
family." 

"  And  a  very  funny  one  it  would  be,"  said  my 
wife,  smiling,  notwithstanding  her  fears,  "  for  now 
I  remember  that  old  Mr.  Scott  told  me  that  his 
grandmother  died  before  she  was  sixty,  but  that 
his  mother  lived  to  be  seventy-five.  Now,  he  is 
eighty,  if  he  is  a  day,  so  there  would  be  a  regular 
gradation  of  ages  in  the  family,  only  it  would  run 
backward  instead  of  in  the  usual  way.  But,  think 
ing  it  over,  I  don't  believe  the  spiritualists  will 
permanently  bring  up  any  more  of  that  family. 
If  they  did,  they  would  have  to  support  them,  for 
they  could  not  ask  old  Mr.  Scott  to  do  it,  who 
hasn't  money  enough  to  satisfy  his  descendants, 
and  ought  not  to  be  expected  to  support  his  an 
cestors." 

My  letter  must  have  had  a  good  deal  of  effect 
upon  Mr.  Corbridge,  for  in  less  than  a  week  after 
it  was  written  he  came  into  my  office.  He  inform 
ed  me  that  he  and  his  associates  were  about  to 
give  a  series  of  stances  in  our  town,  but  that  he 
had  come  on  before  the  others  in  order  to  talk  to 
me.  "I  am  extremely  sorry,"  he  said,  "to  hear 
of  this  proposed  marriage.  We  want  to  do  what 
is  right  and  fair,  and  we  have  no  desire  that  any 
act  of  ours  shall  create  a  widow." 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  49 

"  Then,"  I  exclaimed,  "  you  relinquish  your  de 
sign  against  Mr.  Kilbright  ?  " 

"  Not  at  all,"  said  he.  "  We  shall  carry  out  our 
plan  before  our  subject  marries.  If  you  choose  to 
hurry  up  matters  and  have  the  wedding  take 
place  before  we  are  ready  to  proceed  with  our  de- 
materializing  process,  we  shall  be  very  sorry,  but 
the  blame  must  rest  on  you.  You  should  have  had 
consideration  enough  for  all  parties  to  prevent  any 
such  complication  as  an  engagement  to  marry.  As 
to  what  you  said  in  your  letter  in  regard  to  in 
voking  the  law  against  us,  I  attach  no  weight 
whatever  to  that  threat." 

"  You  will  find  you  have  made  a  great  mistake," 
said  I,  angrily,  "  when  I  have  brought  the  law  to 
bear  upon  you,  which  now  I  shall  not  delay  to  do." 

"  You  will  merely  bring  ridicule  upon  yourself," 
he  said,  "  if  you  assert  that  the  man  you  wish  to 
protect  is  Amos  Kilbright.  We  can  prove  by  rec 
ords,  still  to  be  seen  in  Bixbury,  that  said  person 
died  in  seventeen  eighty-five.  On  the  other  hand, 
if  you  choose  to  assert  that  he  is,  or  was,  anybody 
else,  how  are  you  going  to  prove  it  ?  All  that 
you  can  say  is  that  the  person  you  refer  to  came 
from,  you  knew  not  where,  and  has  gone,  you  know 
not  where.  If  you  declare  that  at  one  time  he  was 
a  materialized  spirit,  you  know  very  well  how  such 
4 


50  Amos  Kilbright : 

a  statement  as  that  would  be  received  in  a  court  of 
law.  It  will  be  much  wiser  to  let  it  be  supposed 
that  the  person  who  has  lately  been  seen  about 
this  town  has  run  off  to  Canada,  than  to  make  any 
sort  of  legal  inquiry  into  the  matter.  If  said  per 
son  were  really  a  man  we  could  have  nothing  to  do 
with  his  disappearance,  while  if  he  were  a  material 
ized  spirit  the  law  would  have  nothing  to  do  with 
him." 

I  arose  and  paced  the  floor.  There  was  entirely 
too  much  force  in  this  man's  arguments,  but,  al 
though  I  could  not  immediately  answer  him,  his 
cool  determination  to  persevere  in  his  iniquitous 
designs  so  angered  me  that  I  declared  that  he 
should  be  punished  if  I  had  to  do  it  myself. 

"  Then  you  admit,"  he  said,  with  a  smile,  "  that 
the  law  cannot  do  it.  The  situation,"  he  con 
tinued,  "is  very  plain  to  us.  Although  the  law 
can  take  no  cognizance  of  our  action,  the  case  will 
be  very  different  with  all  believers  in  spiritualism, 
and  those  who  are  interested  in  us.  The  news 
that  we  have  done  this  thing  will  spread  through 
the  spiritualistic  circles  of  the  world.  " 

"  Has  your  German  arrived  ?  "  I  asked,  abruptly. 

"  Not  yet,"  answered  Corbridge,  "  but  we  ex 
pect  him  in  a  few  days.  He  will  come  directly  to 
this  town,  because  we  wish  to  give  him  an  op- 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  51 

portunity  of  observing  the  subject  in  his  present 
form  before  beginning  the  dematerializing  process." 

"  What  refinement  of  cruelty  !  "  I  exclaimed. 

"  Oh,  of  course,  the  doctor  will  not  make  him 
self  known,"  said  Corbridge.  "  He  will  merely 
wish  to  take  a  good  look  at  the  subject,  and  see  for 
himself  how  perfect  his  materialization  has  been. 
Then  he  will  know  just  what  work  is  before  him." 

And,  so  saying,  Mr.  Corbridge  went  away,  leav 
ing  me  too  angry  to  speak,  if,  indeed,  I  could  have 
thought  of  anything  which  it  would  have  been 
worth  my  while  to  say. 

When  Mrs.  Colesworthy  heard  what  Corbridge 
had  said,  she  turned  white.  "  They  must  be 
married  instantly !  "  she  exclaimed.  "  I  knew  that 
was  the  only  way." 

It  was  all  very  well  to  talk  of  an  immediate 
marriage,  but  it  was  not  so  easy  to  bring  it  about. 
It  was  yet  a  week  before  the  day  fixed  for  the 
wedding,  and  the  happy  lovers  were  busy  with 
their  preparations,  never  dreaming  of  the  danger 
which  hung  over  them.  What  reason  could  we 
give  for  hastening  the  marriage  rites?  At  one 
time  we  thought  it  might  be  wise  to  explain  to 
them  fully  the  state  of  the  case,  but  from  this 
course  we  were  deterred  for  fear  of  the  terrible 
effect  that  the  news  might  have  on  Lilian.  Should 


52  Amos  Kilbright : 

she  hear  of  the  design  of  Dr.  Hildstein,  she  would 
never  again  have  a  moment's  peace,  married  or 
unmarried.  Once  I  advised  that  the  two  be  dis 
suaded  from  marrying,  at  least  for  a  year.  In  that 
time  we  could  see  if  these  people  really  had  any 
power  over  Mr.  Kilbright. 

"That  will  not  do  at  all,"  said  Mrs.  Colesworthy. 
"It  will  be  very  long  to  postpone  their  happiness; 
and  besides,  if  that  German  gets  hold  of  Mr.  Kil 
bright  while  he  is  still  unmarried,  he  will  snap  him 
up,  or  rather,  blow  him  out  in  no  time." 

"  I  thought  we  had  persuaded  ourselves,"  I  said, 
sadly,  "  that  no  one  could  have  any  real  power  of 
dematerialization." 

"  So  we  had,"  said  she,  "  but  that  sort  of  per 
suasion  does  not  always  last." 

The  result  was  that  we  did  nothing  but  hope  for 
the  best.  But  we  could  not  blame  ourselves,  for, 
really,  there  was  nothing  else  to  do.  I  had  given 
up  all  idea  of  endeavoring  to  put  Mr.  Corbridge 
and  his  associates  under  legal  restriction,  because 
if  they  had  power  to  do  the  evil  we  feared,  they 
could  do  it  in  one  place  as  well  as  another,  and  no 
court  could  determine  when,  how,  or  by  whom 
Mr.  Kilbright  had  been  dematerialized. 

The  day  before  the  wedding-day  the  German 
doctor  arrived  in  our  town ;  and,  having  heard  this, 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  53 

I  went  immediately  to  the  hotel  where  Mr.  Cor- 
bridge  and  his  party  were  staying.  The  spiritual 
istic  manager  was  not  glad  to  see  me,  and  frankly 
said  so. 

"I  had  hoped,"  he  remarked,  "that  you  had 
concluded  to  keep  out  of  this  thing.  It  is  no  con 
cern  of  yours ;  you  can  be  of  no  possible  good  to 
anybody;  and  the  wisest  thing  you  can  do  will  be 
to  drop  it." 

I  assured  him  that  I  had  no  intention  of  drop 
ping  it,  and  that  I  should  do  everything  in  my 
power  to  protect  Mr.  Kilbright. 

"  Then,  again,"  continued  Corbridge,  "  there  is 
really  no  need  of  giving  yourself  all  this  worry. 
Dr.  Hildstein  may  succeed,  and  he  may  not.  We 
have  failed,  and  so  may  he.  He  has  seen  the  sub 
ject,  and  has  come  to  a  very  philosophical  and 
sensible  conclusion  in  regard  to  him.  He  will  not 
believe,  merely  on  our  assertion,  that  the  man  is  a 
materialized  spirit.  He  will  proceed  with  his  ex 
periments,  and  if  they  fail  he  will  consider  that 
the  man  is  a  man,  and  was  never  anything  else. 
If  they  succeed,  then  he  will  be  quite  satisfied 
that  he  had  a  perfect  right  to  dematerialize  what 
we  had  materialized." 

"  Then  you  really  believe, "  I  said,  "  that  there 
is  a  chance  that  he  may  fail  ?  " 


54  Amos  Kilbright : 

"  Of  course  there  is, "  said  Corbridge.  "  I  do 
not  know  his  methods,  and  there  may  be  nothing 
in  them. " 

I  had  no  doubt  that  this  change  of  tone  in  Cor 
bridge  was  intended  to  produce  in  me  a  feeling  of 
security,  that  they  might  thus  rid  themselves  of 
me.  But,  though  I  saw  through  his  purpose,  the 
man's  words  encouraged  me.  Of  course  there 
must  be  a  good  deal  of  doubt  about  the  German's 
powers ;  and,  after  all,  there  might  be  no  cause 
whatever  for  our  anxieties. 

"  Now,  sir,"  said  Corbridge,  as  I  left,  "  if  I  were 
you  I  would  trouble  myself  no  more  about  this 
matter.  If  Dr.  Hildstein  fails,  you  will  still  have 
your  man  to  do  your  copying,  or  your  surveying, 
or  anything  you  like.  If  he  succeeds,  we  are  all 
in  the  same  condition  we  were  a  year  ago.  '  That 
subject  did  not  exist  at  that  time  ;  he  does  not  ex 
ist  at  this  time;'  that  will  be  all  we  shall  have  to 
say  about  it. " 

"  You  forget, "  I  said,  severely,  "  the  wife  he 
may  leave  behind  him. " 

"  I  have  nothing  to  say  about  that,  "  said  Cor 
bridge,  rather  sharply.  "  It  is  a  reprehensible  busi 
ness,  and  I  have  nothing  to  do  with  it. " 

I  went  away  without  seeing  the  German  doctor, 
but  as  I  heard  he  spoke  no  English,  and  as  I  did 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  55 

not  know  German,  an  interview  with  him  would 
have  been  of  no  avail. 

Neither  Mrs.  Colesworthy  nor  myself  slept  that 
night ;  we  were  so  filled  with  anxious  fears.  But 
when  the  day  broke,  bright  and  clear,  and  I  had 
hurried  round  to  Mr.  Kilbright's  lodgings,  and  had 
found  him  as  full  of  life  and  vigor  as  I  had  ever 
seen  him,  we  were  greatly  comforted,  and  ate  our 
breakfasts  with  fair  appetites. 

"  If  it  had  been  a  dark  and  lowering  day,  "  said 
my  wife,  "  I  don't  believe  I  could  have  swallowed 
a  mouthful." 

The  marriage  was  to  take  place  at  noon,  and  the 
happy  pair  were  to  start  by  the  first  afternoon 
train  for  the  sea-shore,  where  they  were  to  spend  a 
week.  Mr.  Kilbright  hated  locomotives  and  rail 
roads  almost  as  much  as  ever,  but  he  had  told  me 
some  time  before  that  he  intended  to  conquer  this 
prejudice,  if  such  a  thing  were  possible. 

"  Being  one  of  you,  I  must  do  as  you  do,  "  he 
had  said. 

The  wedding  was  to  be  a  very  simple  one.  Miss 
Bud  worth  was  to  go  from  her  mother's  house  to 
the  church,  where  Mr.  Kilbright  was  to  meet  her. 
We  insisted  that  he  should  dress  at  our  house, 
where  he  would  find  better  accommodations  than 
at  his  lodgings ;  and  we  assigned  him  our  best 


56  Amos  Kilbright  : 

guest-room,  where  he  repaired  in  very  good  season, 
to  array  himself  in  his  wedding  suit. 

It  was  not  quite  eleven  o'clock  when  I  went  up 
stairs  to  see  if  I  could  be  of  any  use  to  Mr.  Kil 
bright  in  regard  to  the  conclusion  of  his  toilette. 
I  knocked  at  the  door,  but  received  no  answer. 
Waiting  a  few  moments,  I  opened  it  and  entered. 
On  the  floor,  in  front  of  a  tall  dressing-glass,  was 
a  suit  of  clothes.  Not  only  did  I  see  the  black 
broadcloth  suit — not  laid  out  at  length,  but  all  in 
a  compact  heap — but  I  saw  the  shoes  and  stock 
ings,  the  collar  and  cravat ;  everything.  Near  by 
lay  a  whisk  broom. 

The  truth  was  plain.  While  giving  the  last 
touches  to  his  wedding  attire,  all  that  was  Amos 
Kilbright  had  utterly  disappeared  ! 

I  stood  where  I  had  stopped,  just  inside  the 
door,  trembling,  scarcely  breathing,  so  stunned  by 
the  terrible  sight  of  those  clothes  that  I  could  not 
move,  nor  scarcely  think.  If  I  had  seen  his  dead 
body  there  I  should  have  been  shocked,  but  to  see 
nothing  !  It  was  awful  to  such  an  extent  that  my 
mind  could  not  deal  with  it ! 

Presently  I  heard  a  step,  and  slightly  turning, 
saw  my  wife  close  by  me.  She  had  passed  the 
open  door,  and  seeing  me  standing  as  if  stricken 
into  a  statue,  had  entered. 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  57 

It  did  not  need  that  I  should  speak  to  her.  Pale 
as  a  sheet  she  stood  beside  me,  her  hand  tightly 
grasping  my  arm,  and  with  her  lips  pallid  with 
horror,  she  formed  the  words :  "  They  have 
done  it!" 

In  a  few  moments  she  pulled  me  gently  back, 
and  said,  in  quick,  low  tones,  as  if  we  had  been  in 
presence  of  the  dead :  "  In  less  than  an  hour  she 
will  be  at  the  church.  We  must  not  stay  here." 

With  this  she  turned  and  stepped  quickly  from 
the  room.  I  followed,  closing  the  door  behind 
me. 

Swiftly  moving,  and  without  a  word,  my  wife 
put  on  her  hat  and  left  the  house.  Mechanically 
I  followed.  I  could  speak  no  word  of  comfort  to 
that  poor  girl,  at  this  moment  the  happiest  of  ex 
pectant  brides.  I  knew  that  I  had  not  the  power 
to  even  attempt  to  explain  to  her  the  nature  of 
the  dreadful  calamity  that  had  fallen  upon  her. 
But  I  could  not  let  my  wife  go  alone.  She,  in 
deed,  must  speak  to  Lilian,  but  there  were  other 
members  of  the  family ;  I  might  do  something. 

To  my  great  surprise,  Mrs.  Colesworthy  did  not 
turn  into  the  street  which  led  to  the  Budworths' 
house,  but  went  straight  on.  I  thought  at  first  she 
was  going  to  the  church  to  countermand  the  wed 
ding  preparations.  But  before  I  could  put  a  ques- 


58  Amos  Kilbright : 

tion  to  her  she  had  gone  around  a  corner,  and  was 
hurrying  up  the  steps  of  the  principal  hotel  in  our 
town. 

"  Is  Dr.  Hildstein  in  ?  "  she  asked  of  the  first 
person  she  met. 

The  man,  gazing  astonished  at  her  pallid  face, 
replied  that  he  was,  and  immediately  conducted 
us  to  a  little  parlor  on  the  first  floor,  the  door  of 
which  stood  partly  open.  Without  knocking, 
Mrs.  Colesworthy  hastily  entered,  I  closely  follow 
ing.  A  middle-aged  man  suddenly  arose  from  a 
small  table  at  which  he  was  sitting,  and  turning 
quickly  toward  us,  made  an  abrupt  exclamation  in 
German. 

As  I  have  said,  I  do  not  understand  German, 
but  Mrs.  Colesworthy  knows  the  language  well, 
and,  stepping  up  to  the  man,  she  said  (she  after 
ward  told  me  the  meaning  of  the  words  that  passed 
between  them) :  "Are  you  Dr.  Hildstein  ?  " 

"  I  am,"  he  said,  his  face  agitated  by  emotion, 
and  his  eyes  sparkling,  "but  I  can  see  no  one, 
speak  to  no  one  !  I  go  out  this  moment  to  ob 
serve  the  result  of  an  important  experiment !  " 

My  wife  motioned  to  me  to  close  the  door. 
"  You  need  not  go,"  she  said,  "  I  can  tell  you  that 
your  experiment  has  succeeded.  You  have  dema- 
terialized  Mr.  Kilbright.  In  one  hour  he  was  to 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  59 

be  married  to  a  noble,  loving  woman  ;  and  now 
all  that  remains  where  he  stood  is  a  pile  of 
clothes ! " 

"  Do  you  tell  me  that  ?  "  exclaimed  the  doctor, 
wildly  seizing  his  hat. 

"  Stop  !  "  cried  Mrs.  Colesworthy,  her  face  glow 
ing  with  excitement,  her  eyes  flashing,  and  her 
right  arm  extended.  "  Stir  not  one  step  !  Do 
you  know  what  you  have  done  ?  " 

"  I  have  done  what  I  had  a  right  to  do  !  "  ex 
claimed  the  doctor,  almost  in  a  shout.  "  If  he  is 
gone  he  was  nothing  but  a  spirit.  Tell  me 
where " 

"I  will  tell  you  this!"  exclaimed  my  wife. 
"  He  was  a  great  deal  more  than  a  spirit.  He  was 
a  man  engaged  to  be  married  at  twelve  o'clock 
this  day.  You  may  think  there  is  no  law  that  will 
sweep  down  on  you,  but  I  tell  you  there  is ;  and 
before  the  clock  strikes  twelve  you  shall  know  it. 
Do  you  imagine  you  have  come  upon  a  people  who 
will  endure  the  presence  of  an  ogre  ?  a  wretch,  who 
reduces  to  nothing  a  fellow  human  being,  and  calls 
it  an  experiment  ?  When  we  tell  what  you  have 
done — my  husband  cannot  speak  German,  but  he 
is  a  leader  in  this  town,  and  he  supports  me  in  all 
I  say — when  we  have  told  what  you  have  done 
there  will  be  no  need  of  courts,  or  judges,  or  law- 


60  Amos  Kilb right  : 

yers  for  you.  Like  a  wild  beast  you  will  be 
hunted  down  ;  you  will  be  trampled  under  foot ; 
you  will  be  torn  to  pieces !  Fire,  the  sword,  the 
hangman's  noose,  clubs,  and  crowbars  will  not  be 
enough  to  satisfy  the  vengeance  of  an  outraged 
people  upon  a  cold-blooded  wretch  who  came  to 
this  country  solely  for  the  purpose  of  perpetrating 
a  crime  more  awful  than  anything  that  was  ever 
known  before  !  Did  you  ever  hear  of  lynching  ? 
I  see  by  your  face  you  know  what  that  means. 
You  are  in  the  midst  of  a  people  who,  in  ten  short 
minutes,  will  be  shrieking  for  your  blood  !  " 

The  man's  face  changed,  and  he  looked  anx 
iously  at  me.  I  did  not  know  what  my  wife  had 
been  saying,  but  I  had  seen  by  her  manner  that 
she  had  been  threatening  him,  and  I  shook  my  up 
lifted  fist. 

"  Now  heed  what  I  say,"  cried  Mrs.  Colesworthy, 
"  if  you  do  not  wish  to  perish  at  the  hands  of  an 
infuriated  mob ;  to  die  a  thousand  deaths  before 
your  vile  spirit  leaves  this  world,  knowing  that, 
besides  the  torments  you  feel,  and  those  which  are 
to  come,  you  will  be  in  the  power  of  men  who  will 
bring  you  back  in  a  half- finished  form  to  make 
sport  at  their  meetings  whenever  they  feel  like 
it " 

Drops  of  perspiration  stood  on  the  doctor's  face. 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  61 

"  Stop  that !  "  he  cried,  throwing  up  his  arm.  "  I 
cannot  stand  that !  I  did  not  know  the  subject 
had  such  friends  !  " 

"  Nothing  shall  be  stopped  ! "  exclaimed  my 
wife,  "  and  everything  shall  happen  unless  you 
immediately  sit  down  at  that  table,  or  wherever 
you  do  those  things,  and  rematerialize  Mr.  Kil- 
bright,  just  as  you  found  him,  and  into  the  very 
clothes  that  were  left  lying  upon  the  floor!" 

The  doctor  stepped  forward — his  face  was  now 
pale — and  addressed  himself  very  deferentially  to 
my  wife,  totally  ignoring  me.  "  If  you  will  retire," 
he  said,  "  I  will  try ;  I  swear  to  you  that  I  will  try." 

"  There  is  not  a  minute  to  be  lost,"  said  Mrs. 
Colesworthy,  "  not  one  second.  And,  if  as  much 
as  a  finger-nail  is  missing,  remember  what  I  have 
told  you ! " 

And  with  this  we  quickly  left  the  room. 

As  we  went  down  the  steps  of  the  hotel  Mrs. 
Colesworthy  looked  at  her  watch.  "  It  is  twenty- 
five  minutes  to  twelve,"  she  said.  "  We  must  get 
home  as  fast  as  we  can." 

We  hurried  along,  sometimes  almost  running. 
When  we  reached  our  house,  Mrs.  Colesworthy 
motioned  to  me  to  go  upstairs.  She  had  no 
breath  left  with  which  to  speak.  I  ran  up,  and 
stood  for  a  moment  at  the  closed  door  of  our 


62  Amos  Kilbriglit  : 

guest-room.  With  my  hand  on  the  knob,  I  was 
unable  to  open  it.  I  heard  a  step  on  the  stairs  be 
hind  me,  and  I  opened  the  door. 

There  stood  Mr.  Kilbright  in  his  wedding  clothes, 
with  the  whisk-broom  in  his  hand. 

He  turned  at  the  sound  of  my  entrance. 

"  Do  you  know,"  cried  the  cheery  voice  of  my  wife, 
from  just  outside  the  door,  "  that  we  have  barely 
fifteen  minutes  in  which  to  get  to  the  church  ?  " 

"Can  that  be?"  cried  Mr.  Kilbright.  "The 
time  has  flown  without  my  knowing  it.  We  must 
truly  make  haste !" 

"  Indeed  we  must,"  said  Mrs.  Colesworthy,  and 
as  she  stepped  back  from  the  door,  she  whispered 
in  my  ear  :  "  Not  a  look,  not  a  tremble  to  let  him 
know !  " 

In  less  than  thirty  seconds  we  were  on  our  way 
to  the  church,  in  the  carriage  which  had  been  or 
dered  for  the  purpose. 

On  the  church  porch  we  found  old  Mr.  Scott. 
He  was  dressed  in  his  best  clothes,  and  greeted  us 
cordially.  "  In  good  time,"  he  said.  "  I  am  glad 
to  see  that.  It  promises  well."  And  then,  look 
ing  around  to  see  that  no  one  was  within  hearing, 
he  came  nearer  to  us.  "  If  I  were  you,"  he  con 
tinued,  "  I  wouldn't  say  nothin'  to  folks  in  general 
about  relationships,  for  there  are  people,  and  very 


His  Adscititious  Experiences.  63 

good  people,  too,  whose  minds  haven't  got  on  far 
enough  to  make  'em  able  to  understand  telephones 
and  the  other  new  kinds  of  wonders." 

We  acknowledged  the  force  of  his  remarks,  and 
all  went  into  the  church. 

Three  days  after  the  departure  of  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Kilbright  on  their  wedding  tour,  my  wife  received 
a  letter  from  Dr.  Hildstein,  written  by  himself  from 
New  York,  but  addressed  in  the  handwriting  of 
Mr.  Corbridge. 

"  I  return,"  he  wrote,  "  to  Germany,  perfectly 
happy  in  having  succeeded  in  my  experiments ; 
but  nevermore,  esteemed  lady,  will  I  dematerial- 
ize  a  subject  who  has  remained  long  enough  in  this 
world  to  make  friends,  and  I  am  the  only  man  who 
can  do  this  thing." 

This  letter  greatly  satisfied  us.  "  It  shows  that 
he  has  some  heart,  after  all,"  said  Mrs.  Colesworthy, 
"  but  as  to  that  man  Corbridge,  I  believe  he  would 
have  kept  poor  Mr.  Kilbright  dancing  backward 
and  forward  between  this  world  and  the  other  as 
long  as  a  dollar  could  be  made  out  of  him.  But 
there  is  only  one  way  in  which  he  can  do  us  any 
harm  now,  and  that  is  by  materializing  the  first 
Mrs.  Kilbright ;  but,  knowing  us,  as  he  now  does, 
I  don't  believe  he  will  ever  try  that." 

"  No,"  said  I,  "  I  don't  believe  he  ever  will." 


64  Amos  Kilbright. 

Should  you  ever  meet  with  Mr.  Amos  Kilbright, 
you  need  not  hesitate  to  entrust  him  with  any  sur 
veying  you  may  have  on  hand.  Mr.  Corbridge  can 
not  dematerialize  him,  the  German  scientist  will 
not,  and  there  is  no  one  else  in  the  world  who 
would  even  think  of  such  a  thing.  Therefore,  you 
need  feel  no  fear  that  he  may  suddenly  vanish 
from  your  sight,  leaving  nothing  behind  him  but 
his  clothes  and  the  contents  of  his  pockets  ;  unless, 
indeed,  he  should  again  be  so  foolish  as  to  go  to 
swim  in  the  ocean  at  a  point  where  there  is  a 
strong  ebb  tide. 


THE   REVERSIBLE   LANDSCAPE. 


THE  REVERSIBLE  LANDSCAPE. 

To  look  at  me  no  one  would  suppose  it ;  but  it 
is,  nevertheless,  a  fact  that  I  am  a  member  of  a 
fire  company.  I  am  somewhat  middle-aged,  some 
what  stout,  and,  at  certain  times  of  the  year,  some 
what  stiff  in  the  joints ;  and  my  general  dress  and 
demeanor,  that  of  a  sober  business  man,  would 
not  at  all  suggest  the  active  and  impetuous  fireman 
of  the  period.  I  do  not  belong  to  any  paid  de 
partment,  but  to  a  volunteer  Hook  and  Ladder 
Company,  composed  of  the  active-bodied  or  ac 
tive-minded  male  citizens  of  the  country  town 
where  I  live.  I  am  included  in  the  active-minded 
portion  of  the  company;  and  in  an  organization 
like  ours,  which  is  not  only  intended  to  assist 
in  putting  out  the  fires  of  burning  buildings,  but 
to  light  the  torch  of  the  mind,  this  sort  of  mem 
ber  is  very  valuable.  In  the  building  which  we 
occupy,  our  truck,  with  its  hooks  and  ladders, 
stands  upon  the  lower  floor,  while  the  large  room 
above  is  used  as  a  club  and  reading-room.  At  the 
beginning  of  the  first  winter  of  our  occupancy  of 


68  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

the  building,  we  found  that  this  room,  which  had 
been  very  pleasant  in  summer,  was  extremely  un 
comfortable  in  winter.  The  long  apartment  had 
been  originally  intended  for  purposes  of  storage ; 
and  although  we  had  ornamented  it  and  fitted  it 
up  very  neatly,  a  good  deal  of  carpentry  and  some 
mason's  work  was  necessary  before  it  could  be 
made  tight  and  draught-proof  for  cold  weather. 
But  lately  we  had  spent  money  very  freely,  and 
our  treasury  was  absolutely  empty.  I  was  chair 
man  of  the  committee  which  had  charge  of  every 
thing  pertaining  to  our  rooms,  and  I  felt  the  re 
sponsibilities  of  my  position.  The  necessary  work 
should  be  begun  immediately,  but  how  could  the 
money  be  raised  to  pay  for  it  ?  Subscriptions  for 
this  and  that  had  been  made  until  the  members 
were  tired  of  that  sort  of  thing ;  and  the  ill  suc 
cess  of  the  last  one  showed  that  it  would  not  do 
to  try  it  again. 

I  revolved  in  my  mind  a  great  many  plans  for 
raising  the  sum  required,  and  one  morning,  as  I 
was  going  to  my  place  of  business  in  the  city,  I 
was  seized  with  a  happy  idea.  At  the  moment  of 
seizure  I  was  standing  in  front  of  a  large  show- 
window,  in  which  were  a  number  of  oil  paintings, 
all  of  them  very  fresh  and  bright.  "  How  would 
it  do,"  thought  I  to  myself,  "  to  buy  a  picture  at  a 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  69 

moderate  price  and  put  it  up  at  a  raffle  ?  People 
who  are  not  willing  to  give  money  outright  will 
often  enter  into  a  scheme  of  this  kind.  I  will  go 
in  and  make  inquiries." 

When  I  entered  I  found  myself  in  a  large  show 
room,  the  walls  of  which  were  covered  with  paint 
ings.  A  person  advanced  to  meet  me  who,  as  it 
soon  became  evident,  was  the  proprietor  of  the 
place.  He  was  a  large  man,  dressed  in  black,  with 
an  open  shirt-front  and  an  expansive  countenance. 
His  eyes  and  hair  were  black,  and  his  ears  stood 
out  from  his  head  in  a  manner  which,  according 
to  a  recent  writer,  indicates  the  money-getting 
faculty;  and  he  plainly  belonged  to  that  class  of 
persons  who  in  the  Middle  Ages  did  not,  as  is  the 
present  custom,  pay  money  for  having  their  teeth 
extracted,  but  often  disbursed  large  sums  for  the 
privilege  of  retaining  them.  When  I  asked  him 
if  I  could  procure  a  good  and  effective  picture  at  a 
moderate  price,  he  threw  out  his  chest  and  waved 
his  arms  toward  his  walls.  "  There,  sir,"  he  said, 
"  you  can  see  oil  paintings  of  every  subject,  of 
every  style,  and  of  every  class ;  and  at  prices,  sir, 
lower  than  they  can  be  found  elsewhere  in  the 
known  world.  Mention  the  kind  of  picture  you 
want,  and  I  can  accommodate  you." 

I  replied  that  I  did  not  know  exactly  what  I 


70  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

wanted,  and  that  I  would  see  what  he  had.  I  now 
began  to  look  at  the  pictures  on  the  walls,  occa 
sionally  mentioning  my  ideas  in  regard  to  their 
merits,  when  suddenly  my  companion  turned  to 
me  and  said : 

"  Are  you  connected  with  the  press,  sir  ?  " 

I  replied  that  I  was  not,  although  I  occasionally 
wrote  for  periodicals. 

"  Upon  art  subjects  ?  "  he  asked. 

I  answered  in  the  negative. 

"  Then  you  are  unprejudiced,  "  he  said,  "  and  I 
believe  from  your  appearance  that  you  are  a  man 
of  influence,  and  there  is  nothing  I  would  like  bet 
ter  than  to  exhibit  the  workings  of  my  art  organi 
zation  to  a  man  of  influence,  unprejudiced  on  the 
subject.  My  object  is,  sir,  to  popularize  art ;  to 
place  high  art  within  the  reach  of  the  masses,  and 
thus  to  educate  the  artistic  faculties  of  even  the 
poorest  citizens.  " 

I  said  that  I  supposed  the  chromo  movement 
was  intended  to  do  all  that. 

"  No,  sir,  "  he  replied,  warmly  ;  "chromos  can 
not  accomplish  the  object.  They  are  too  expen 
sive;  and,  besides,  they  are  not  the  real  thing. 
They  are  printed,  not  painted  ;  and  what  the  pub 
lic  wants  is  the  real  thing,  the  work  of  the  brush ; 
and  that  is  what  I  give  them.  The  pictures  you 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  71 

see  here,  and  an  immense  stock  besides,  are  all 
copies  of  valuable  paintings,  many  of  them  in  the 
finest  galleries  of  Europe.  I  sell  no  originals.  I 
guarantee  everything  to  be  a  copy.  Honesty  is  at 
the  bottom  of  all  I  do.  But  my  copies  are  ex 
actly  like  the  originals ;  that  is  all  I  claim.  I 
would  like,  sir,  to  show  you  through  my  establish 
ment,  and  let  you  see  how  I  am  carrying  on  the 
great  work  of  art  education.  There  are  picture- 
dealers  in  this  city,  sir,  plenty  of  them,  who  try  to 
make  the  public  believe  that  the  vile  daubs  they 
sell  are  originals,  and  the  works  of  well-known 
painters  ;  and  when  they  do  admit  that  the  picture 
is  a  copy,  they  say  it  is  the  work  of  some  dis 
tinguished  student ;  that  there  is  no  other  copy  in 
the  country ;  or  they  make  some  other  misstate- 
ment  about  it.  These  people  conceal  their  pro 
cesses,  but  their  tricks  are  beginning  to  be  well 
known  to  the  public.  Now,  sir,  I  conceal  nothing. 
The  day  for  that  sort  of  thing  is  past.  I  want 
men  of  influence  to  know  the  facilities  I  have  for 
the  production  of  art-work  upon  a  grand  scale. 
We  will  first  go  into  the  basement.  Sir, "  said  he, 
as  I  followed  him  down-stairs,  "you  know  how 
the  watch-making  business  has  been  revolutionized 
by  the  great  companies  which  manufacture  watches 
by  machinery.  The  slow,  uncertain,  and  expen- 


72  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

sive  work  of  the  poor  toilers  who  made  watches 
by  hand  has  been  superseded  by  the  swift,  uner 
ring,  and  beautiful  operations  of  machinery  and 
steam.  Now,  sir,  the  great  purpose  of  my  life  is 
to  introduce  machinery  into  art,  and,  ultimately, 
steam.  And  yet  I  will  have  no  shams,  no  chromos. 
Everything  shall  be  real — the  work  of  the  brush. 
Here,  sir,  "  he  continued,  showing  me  into  a  long 
room  rilled  with  workmen,  "  you  see  the  men  en 
gaged  in  putting  together  the  frames  on  which  to 
stretch  my  canvases.  Every  stick  is  cut,  planed, 
and  jointed  at  a  mill  in  Vermont,  and  sent  on 
here  by  the  car-load.  Beyond  are  the  workmen 
cutting  up,  stretching,  and  preparing  the  canvas, 
bales  upon  bales  of  which  are  used  in  a  day.  At 
the  far  end  are  the  mills  for  grinding  and  mixing 
colors.  And  now  we  will  go  to  the  upper  floors, 
and  see  the  true  art-work.  Here,  sir,"  he  said, 
continuing  to  talk  as  we  walked  through  the  rooms 
on  the  various  floors,  "  is  the  landscape  and  marine 
department.  That  row  of  men  are  putting  in 
skies  ;  they  do  nothing  else.  Each  has  his  copy 
before  him,  and,  day  after  day,  month  after  month, 
paints  nothing  but  that  sky  ;  and  of  course  he  does 
it  with  great  rapidity  and  fidelity.  Above,  on 
those  shelves,  are  sky-pots  of  every  variety ;  blue- 
serene  pots,  tempest  pots,  sunset  pots  in  compart- 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  73 

ments,  morning-gray  pots,  and  many  others.  Then 
the  work  passes  to  the  middle-ground  painters, 
who  have  their  half-tone  pots  within  easy  reach. 
After  that  the  foreground  men  take  it  up,  and  the 
figurists  put  in  the  men  and  animals.  That  man 
there  has  been  painting  that  foreground  cow  ever 
since  the  first  of  August.  He  can  now  put  her  in 
three  and  a  half  times  in  fifteen  minutes,  and  will 
probably  rise  to  sixteen  cows  an  hour  by  the  end 
of  this  month.  These  girls  do  nothing  but  put 
white-caps  to  waves.  There's  a  great  demand  at 
present  for  the  windy  marine.  This  next  room  is 
devoted  to  portraits  to  order.  You  see  that  row 
of  old  ladies  without  heads,  each  holding  a  pair  of 
spectacles,  and  with  one  finger  in  the  Bible  to 
keep  the  place ;  that's  very  popular,  and  we  put  in 
a  head  when  the  photograph  is  sent.  There  is  a 
great  rage  at  present  for  portraits  of  babies  with 
out  any  clothes  on.  Here  is  a  lot  of  undraped  in 
fants  with  bodies  all  finished,  but  with  no  heads. 
We  can  finish  them  to  order  at  very  short  notice. 
I  have  one  girl  who  puts  in  all  the  dimples.  You 
would  be  surprised  to  see  what  a  charming  dimple 
she  can  make  with  one  twist  of  her  brush.  Long 
practice  at  one  thing,  sir,  is  the  foundation  of  the 
success  of  this  great  establishment.  Take  that 
girl  away  from  her  dimple-pot,  and  she  is  nothing. 


74  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

She  is  now  upstairs,  putting  dimples  into  a  large 
Correggio  order  from  the  West.  This  next  room 
is  our  figure  department,  battle-pieces,  groups,  sin 
gle  figures,  everything.  As  you  have  seen  before, 
each  man  only  copies  from  the  original  that  part 
which  is  his  specialty.  In  addition  to  its  other  ad 
vantages,  this  system  is  a  great  protection  to  us. 
None  of  my  men  can  work  at  home  at  nights  and 
Sundays,  and  forge  pictures.  Not  one  of  them 
can  do  a  whole  one.  And  now,  sir,  you  have  seen 
the  greater  part  of  my  establishment.  The  var 
nishing,  packing,  and  storage  rooms  are  in  another 
building.  I  am  now  perfecting  plans  for  the  erec 
tion  of  an  immense  edifice  with  steam-engines  in 
the  cellar,  in  which  my  paintings  shall  be  done  by 
machinery.  No  chromos,  mind  you,  but  real  oil- 
paintings,  done  by  brushes  revolving  on  cylinders. 
I  shall  have  rolls  of  canvas  a  mile  long,  like  the 
paper  on  which  our  great  dailies  are  printed,  and 
the  machines  shall  do  everything  ;  cut  off  the  pict 
ure,  when  it  has  passed  among  the  cylinders, 
whereupon  fresh  canvas  will  be  rolled  in  for  a  new 
one ;  another  machine  will  stretch  them  ;  and  they 
will  pass  through  a  varnish  bath  in  the  twinkling 
of  an  eye.  But  this  is  in  the  future.  What  I 
want  of  you,  sir,  and  of  other  men  of  influence  in 
society,  is  to  let  our  people  know  of  the  great 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  75 

good  that  is  ready  for  them  now,  and  of  the  great 
er  benefit  that  is  coming.  And,  more  than  that, 
you  can  do  incalculable  good  to  our  artists.  Those 
poor  toilers  on  the  solitary  canvas  should  know 
how  to  become  prosperous,  great,  and  happy ;  tell 
them  to  go  into  some  other  business.  And  now, 
sir,  I  must  see  what  I  can  do  for  you.  We  will 
return  to  my  gallery,  and  I  will  show  you  exactly 
what  you  want." 

When  we  reached  the  back  part  of  the  show 
room,  down-stairs,  he  brought  out  an  unframed 
picture  about  three  feet  long  and  two  high,  and 
placed  it  in  a  favorable  light  "There,"  said  he, 
"  is  a  picture  which  will  suit  you.  It  is  what  we 
call  a  reversible  landscape,  and  is  copied  from  the 
only  genuine  picture  of  the  kind  in  the  world.  It 
is  just  as  good  as  two  pictures.  In  this  position, 
you  see,  a  line  of  land  stretches  across  the  middle 
of  the  picture,  with  trees,  houses,  and  figures,  with 
a  light  sky  above  and  a  lake,  darker  in  hue,  below. 
Everything  on  the  land  is  reflected  accurately  in 
the  water.  It  is  a  landscape  in  morning  light. 
Turn  it  upside  down,  so,  and  it  is  an  evening  scene ; 
darkening  sky  above,  light  water  beneath ;  the 
morning  star,  which  you  saw  faintly  glimmering 
in  the  other  picture,  is  now  the  reflection  of  the 
evening  star." 


76  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

I  "do  not  pretend  to  be  a  judge  of  pictures,  but  I 
fancy  I  appreciate  an  original  idea  when  I  see  it, 
and  I  thought  that  this  picture  might  answer  my 
purpose. 

"What  is  the  price  of  the  painting?"  I  asked. 

"  Well,  sir,"  said  he,  "  to  you,  as  a  man  of  in 
fluence,  I  will  fix  the  price  of  this  great  painting, 
from  a  comparatively  unknown  work  of  Gaspar 
Poussin,  at  four  dollars  and  a  half." 

In  spite  of  what  I  had  seen  of  the  facilities  pos 
sessed  by  this  establishment  for  producing  cheap 
work,  I  must  confess  that  I  was  surprised  at  the 
smallness  of  the  sum  asked  for  an  oil-painting  of 
that  size ;  I  had  expected  to  give  forty  or  fifty  dol 
lars.  But,  although  I  am  not  a  judge  of  paint 
ings,  I  am  a  business  man,  and  accustomed  to 
make  bargains.  Therefore  I  said  : 

"  I  will  give  you  two  dollars  and  fifty  cents  for 
the  picture." 

"  Done,"  said  he.     "  Where  shall  I  send  it  ?  " 

I  gave  him  my  city  address,  and  paid  the  money. 
As  he  accompanied  .me  to  the  door,  he  said  :  "  If 
you  would  like  more  of  these  pictures,  I  will  sell 
you  one  dozen  for  eighteen  dollars,  or  the  whole 
lot  of  one  hundred,  just  finished — and  there  will 
be  no  more  of  them  painted — for  one  hundred 
dollars."  I  told  him  one  was  all  I  wanted,  and 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  77 

departed.  I  .carried  the  picture  home  that  after 
noon,  and  in  the  evening  exhibited  it  at  our  club- 
room,  and  made  known  my  scheme  for  raising  the 
money  we  needed  by  getting  up  a  raffle  with  this 
painting  as  the  prize ;  one  hundred  tickets  at  the 
low  price  of  two  dollars  each.  The  reversible  land 
scape  was  set  up,  first  one  way  and  then  the  other, 
a  great  many  times,  and  created  quite  a  sensa 
tion. 

"  I  don't  think  it's  worth  the  half  of  two  hun 
dred  dollars,"  said  Mr.  Buckby,  our  president, 
"  but  as  the  money  is  for  the  use  of  our  Associa 
tion,  I  don't  mind  that.  But  my  objection  to  the 
scheme  is  that,  if  I  should  gain  the  prize,  I  should 
be  laughed  at  by  all  my  fellow-members  :  for,  to 
tell  the  truth,  I  think  that  painting  is  a  good  deal 
more  funny  than  otherwise.  It's  not  what  I  call 
high  art." 

The  other  members  generally  agreed  with  him. 
They  were  very  much  amused  by  the  picture,  but 
they  did  not  care  to  possess  it,  imagining  that 
those  who  ridiculed  it  might  also  ridicule  its 
owner.  This  opposition  discouraged  me,  and  I  re 
tired  to  reflect.  In  about  five  minutes  I  returned 
to  the  company,  which  had  now  greatly  increased, 
as  it  was  one  of  our  regular  meeting  nights,  and  I 
asked  if  they  would  consent  to  this  raffle  if  I  would 


78  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

engage  that  the  winner  of  the  picture  should  not 
be  laughed  at  by  any  other  member. 

"How  will  you  guarantee  that?"  asked  Mr. 
Buckby. 

"  I  will  put  the  matter  in  the  hands  of  the  As 
sociation,"  I  answered.  "  If,  after  the  raffle  is  over, 
a  majority  of  the  members  shall  decide  that  any 
of  us  have  reason  to  laugh  at  the  winner  of  this 
painting,  I  will  refund  all  the  money  paid  for 
tickets." 

There  was  something  in  this  proposition  which 
aroused  the  curiosity  of  my  fellow-firemen  ;  and 
when  the  meeting  was  called  to  order,  a  resolution 
was  adopted  that  we  would  have  the  raffle,  and 
that  the  management  of  it  should  be  placed  in  my 
hands,  subject  to  the  conditions  mentioned  above. 
There  were  a  good  many  surmises  as  to  what  I 
was  going  to  do  to  keep  the  people  from  laughing 
at  the  prize-winner,  the  general  opinion  being  that 
I  intended  to  have  the  picture  altered  so  that  it 
would  be  like  an  ordinary  landscape,  and  not  re 
versible.  But  the  affair  was  something  novel,  and 
promised  to  put  the  much-needed  money  into  our 
treasury ;  and  several  gentlemen  assured  me  that 
they  would  make  it  their  business  to  see  that 
every  member  took  a  ticket,  one  generous  man 
promising,  in  the  interests  of  the  Association,  to 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  79 

present  them  to  such  of  the  few  members  as  might 
decline  to  buy  them  for  themselves.  This  offer 
was  made  in  consequence  of  my  insistance  that 
every  one  of  us  should  have  a  chance  in  the  raf 
fle. 

The  next  morning  I  went  to  the  art-factory  and 
told  the  proprietor  that  I  would  take  the  lot  of  re- 
versibles  he  had  on  hand,  if  he  would  include  the 
one  already  purchased,  and  receive  ninety-seven 
dollars  and  a  half  as  the  balance  due. 

"  All  right !  "  said  he.  "  I  have  the  ninety-nine 
still  on  hand.  Are  you  in  the  tea  business,  sir  ?  " 

"Oh,  no,"  said  I;  "the  pictures  are  intended 
for  a  large  Association." 

"  No  better  way  of  extending  the  influence  of 
art,  sir,"  he  said,  heartily.  "  I  shall  charge  you 
nothing  for  boxing.  The  same  address,  sir?" 

"  No,  they  must  be  forwarded  to  my  residence," 
and  I  gave  him  the  needful  directions,  and  a 
check. 

The  next  day  the  ninety-nine  pictures  arrived 
and  were  stored  in  my  barn.  My  wife,  to  whom 
I  had  told  my  plan,  made  some  objections  to  it, 
saying  it  did  not  seem  right  to  use  half  the  money 
paid  in  to  buy  so  many  pictures ;  but  I  told  her 
that  no  one  could  expect  in  a  raffle  to  clear  all 
the  money  subscribed,  and  that  although  we 


8o  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

should  not  gain  as  much  as  I  had  hoped,  we 
should  clear  a  hundred  dollars,  and  every  man 
would  have  a  picture.  This  was  surely  fair,  and 
the  fact  was  that  the  unsympathetic  state  of  mind 
of  our  members  made  it  necessary  for  me  to  do 
something  of  this  kind,  if  I  expected  to  raise  the 
needed  money  at  all. 

The  raffle  was  announced,  and  on  the  appointed 
evening  there  was  a  full  attendance.  The  prize 
was  won  by  a  Mr.  Horter,  an  art-collector  of  a 
nervous  temperament,  who  had  objected  to  the 
raffle,  and  who  had  consented  to  buy  a  ticket  only 
after  repeated  solicitations. 

"Now  mind,"  he  said  to  me,  "you  promised 
that  the  other  men  should  not  laugh  at  me,  and 
I  hold  you  to  your  contract." 

I  answered  that  I  intended  to  stand  by  it,  and 
that  the  painting  should  be  sent  to  him  in  the 
morning  from  my  house,  whither  it  had  been  re 
moved.  Every  member  present  announced  his 
intention  of  calling  on  Horter  the  following  even 
ing  to  see  why  he  should  not  be  laughed  at. 

All  the  next  forenoon  my  man,  with  a  horse 
and  light  wagon,  was  engaged  in  delivering  the 
reversible  landscapes,  one  to  every  member  of  our 
club.  These  gentlemen  were,  in  almost  every 
case,  absent  at  their  places  of  business.  When 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  81 

they  came  home  in  the  evenihg  each  found  his 
picture,  with  his  name  on  the  back  of  it,  and  a 
printed  slip  informing  him  that  in  this  raffle  there 
had  been  no  blanks,  and  that  every  man  had 
drawn  a  prize. 

Not  a  man  called  upon  Mr.  Horter  that  even 
ing,  and  he  greatly  wondered  why  they  did  not 
come  in,  either  to  laugh  or  to  say  why  they  should 
not  do  so ;  but  every  other  member  of  our  club 
was  visited  by  nearly  all  his  fellow-firemen,  who 
ran  in  to  see  if  it  were  true  that  he  also  had  one 
of  those  ridiculous  reversible  landscapes.  As 
everybody  knew  that  Mr.  Horter  had  one,  there 
was  no  need  to  call  on  him ;  and  even  if  they  had 
hoped  to  be  able  to  laugh  at  him  they  could  not 
do  so,  when  each  of  them  had  drawn  one  of  the 
pictures  himself.  A  good  many  called  on  me,  and 
some  were  a  little  severe  in  their  remarks,  saying 
that  although  it  might  be  a  very  pretty  joke,  I 
must  have  used  up  nearly  all  the  money  that  they 
had  given  for  the  good  of  the  Association,  for,  of 
course,  none  of  them  cared  for  the  absurd  prize. 

But  when,  on  the  next  meeting  night,  I  paid  in 
one  hundred  dollars  to  the  treasury,  a  sum  more 
than  sufficient  to  make  our  room  comfortable,  they 
were  quite  satisfied.  The  only  thing  that  troubled 
them  was  to  know  what  to  do  with  the  pictures 


82  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

they  had  drawn.  Not  one  of  them  was  willing  to 
keep  his  preposterous  landscape  in  his  house.  It 
was  Mrs.  Buckby,  our  president's  wife,  who  sug 
gested  a  way  out  of  the  difficulty. 

"  Of  course,"  she  said  to  her  husband,  "  it  would 
have  been  much  better  if  each  one  of  you  had 
given  the  two  dollars  without  any  raffle,  and  then 
you  would  have  had  all  your  money.  But  one 
can't  expect  men  to  do  a  thing  like  that." 

"  Not  after  we  had  all  paid  in  our  regular  dues, 
and  had  been  subscribing  and  subscribing  for  this, 
that,  and  the  other  thing  for  nearly  a  year,"  said 
I,  who  was  present  at  the  time.  "  Some  extra  in 
ducement  was  necessary." 

"  But,  as  you  have  all  those  horrid  landscapes," 
she  continued,  "  why  don't  you  take  them  and  put 
them  up  along  the  top  of  your  walls,  next  the 
ceiling,  where  those  openings  are  which  used  to 
ventilate  the  room  when  it  was  used  for  storage  ? 
That  would  save  all  the  money  that  you  would 
have  to  pay  to  carpenters  and  painters  to  have 
those  places  made  tight  and  decent-looking ;  and 
it  would  give  your  room  a  gorgeous  appearance." 

This  idea  was  hailed  with  delight.  Every  man 
brought  his  picture  to  the  hall,  and  we  nailed  the 
whole  hundred  in  a  row  along  the  top  of  the  four 
walls,  turning  one  with  the  darker  half  up,  and 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  83 

the  next  the  other  way,  so  as  to  present  alternate 
views  of  morning  and  evening  along  the  whole 
distance.  The  arrangement  answered  admirably. 
The  draughts  of  air  from  outside  were  perfectly 
excluded :  and  as  our  walls  were  very  lofty,  the 
general  effect  was  good. 

"  Art  of  that  kind  cannot  be  too  high,"  said  Mr. 
Horter. 

A  week  or  two  after  this,  when  I  arrived  at 
home  one  afternoon,  my  wife  told  me  that  there 
was  a  present  for  me  in  the  dining-room.  As  such 
things  were  not  common,  I  hurried  in  to  see  what 
it  was.  I  found  a  very  large  flat  package,  tied  up 
in  brown  paper,  and  on  it  a  card  with  my  name 
and  a  long  inscription.  The  latter  was  to  the 
effect  that  my  associates  of  the  Hook  and  Ladder 
Company,  desirous  of  testifying  their  gratitude  to 
the  originator  and  promoter  of  the  raffle  scheme, 
took  pleasure  in  presenting  him  with  the  accompa 
nying  work  of  art,  which,  when  hung  upon  the 
walls  of  his  house,  would  be  a  perpetual  reminder 
to  him  of  the  great  and  good  work  he  had  done 
for  the  Association. 

I  cannot  deny  that  this  pleased  me  much. 

"  Well !  "  I  exclaimed  to  my  wife,  "  it  is  very 
seldom  that  a  man  gets  any  thanks  for  his  gratui- 


84  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

tous  efforts  in  behalf  of  his  fellow-beings ;  and 
although  I  must  say  that  my  services  in  raising 
money  for  the  Association  deserved  recognition,  I 
did  not  expect  that  the  members  would  do  them 
selves  the  justice  to  make  me  a  present." 

Unwrapping  the  package,  I  discovered,  to  my 
intense  disgust,  a  copy  of  the  Reversible  Land 
scape  !  My  first  thought  was  that  some  of  the 
members,  for  a  joke,  had  taken  down  one  of  the 
paintings  from  our  meeting-room  and  had  sent  it 
to  me;  but,  on  carefully  examining  the  canvas 
and  frame,  I  was  quite  certain  that  this  picture 
had  never  been  nailed  to  a  wall.  It  was  evidently 
a  new  and  fresh  copy  of  the  painting  of  which  I 
had  been  assured  no  more  would  be  produced.  I 
must  admit  that  I  had  felt  a  certain  pride  in  dec 
orating  our  hall  with  the  style  of  picture  that 
could  not  be  seen  elsewhere ;  and,  moreover,  I 
greatly  dislike  to  be  overreached  .in  business  mat 
ters,  and  my  wrath  against  the  manufacturer  of 
high  art  entirely  overpowered  and  dissipated  any 
little  resentment  I  might  have  felt  against  my 
waggish  fellow-members  who  had  sent  me  the 
painting. 

Early  the  next  morning  I  went  direct  to  the 
art-factory,  and  was  just  about  entering  when  my 


The  Reversible  Landscape.  85 

attention  was  attracted  by  a  prominent  picture  in 
the  window.  I  stepped  back  to  look  at  it.  It 
was  our  reversible  landscape,  mounted  upon  an 
easel,  and  labelled  "  A  Morning  Scene."  While  I 
examined  it  to  assure  myself  that  it  was  really  the 
landscape  with  which  I  was  so  familiar,  it  was 
turned  upside  down  by  some  concealed  machinery, 
and  appeared  labelled,  "  An  Evening  Scene."  At 
the  foot  of  the  easel  I  now  noticed  a  placard  in 
scribed  :  "  The  Reversible  Landscape :  A  New 
Idea  in  Art." 

I  stood  for  a  moment  astounded.  The  rascally 
picture-monger  had  not  only  made  another  of 
these  pictures,  but  he  was  prepared  to  furnish 
them  in  any  number.  Rushing  into  the  gallery,  I 
demanded  to  see  the  proprietor. 

"  Look  here  ! "  said  I,  "  what  does  this  mean  ? 
You  told  me  that  there  were  to  be  no  more  of 
those  pictures  painted;  that  I  was  to  possess  a 
unique  lot." 

"  That's  not  the  same  picture,  sir,"  he  exclaimed. 
"  I  am  surprised  that  you  should  think  so.  Step 
outside  with  me,  sir,  and  I'll  prove  it  to  you. 
There,  sir  ! "  said  he,  as  we  stood  before  the  paint 
ing,  which  was  now  Morning  side  up,  "you  see 
that  star  ?  In  the  pictures  we  sold  you  the  morn- 


86  The  Reversible  Landscape. 

ing  star  was  Venus;  in  this  one  it  is  Jupiter.  This 
is  not  the  same  picture.  Do  you  imagine  that  we 
would  deceive  a  customer  ?  That,  sir,  is  a  thing 
we  never  do  ! " 


DUSKY   PHILOSOPHY. 


DUSKY    PHILOSOPHY. 


IN    TWO    EXPOSITIONS. 

FIRST   EXPOSITION  :      A   STORY   OF  SEVEN  DEVILS. 

The  negro  church  which  stood  in  the  pine- 
woods  near  the  little  village  of  Oxford  Cross 
Roads,  in  one  of  the  lower  counties  of  Virginia, 
was  presided  over  by  an  elderly  individual,  known 
to  the  community  in  general  as  Uncle  Pete ;  but 
on  Sundays  the  members  of  his  congregation  ad 
dressed  him  as  Brudder  Pete.  He  was  an  earnest 
and  energetic  man,  and,  although  he  could  neither 
read  nor  write,  he  had  for  many  years  expounded 
the  Scriptures  to  the  satisfaction  of  his  hearers. 
His  memory  was  good,  and  those  portions  of  the 
Bible,  which  from  time  to  time  he  had  heard  read, 
were  used  by  him,  and  frequently  with  powerful 
effect,  in  his  sermons.  His  interpretations  of  the 
Scriptures  were  generally  entirely  original,  and 
were  made  to  suit  the  needs,  or  what  he  supposed 
to  be  the  needs,  of  his  congregation. 


90  Dusky  Philosophy. 

Whether  as  "  Uncle  Pete "  in  the  garden  and 
corn-field,  or  "  Brudder  Pete  "  in  the  church,  he 
enjoyed  the  good  opinion  of  everybody  excepting 
one  person,  and  that  was  his  wife.  She  was  a 
high-tempered  and  somewhat  dissatisfied  person, 
who  had  conceived  the  idea  that  her  husband  was 
in  the  habit  of  giving  too  much  time  to  the  church, 
and  too  little  to  the  acquisition  of  corn-bread  and 
pork.  On  a  certain  Saturday  she  gave  him  a  most 
tremendous  scolding,  which  so  affected  the  spirits 
of  the  good  man  that  it  influenced  his  decision  in 
regard  to  the  selection  of  the  subject  for  his  ser 
mon  the  next  day. 

His  congregation  was  accustomed  to  being  as 
tonished,  and  rather  liked  it,  but  never  before  had 
their  minds  received  such  a  shock  as  when  the 
preacher  announced  the  subject  of  his  discourse. 
He  did  not  take  any  particular  text,  for  this  was 
not  his  custom,  but  he  boldly  stated  that  the  Bible 
declared  that  every  woman  in  this  world  was  pos 
sessed  by  seven  devils ;  and  the  evils  which  this 
state  of  things  had  brought  upon  the  world  he 
showed  forth  with  much  warmth  and  feeling. 
Subject-matter,  principally  from  his  own  experi 
ence,  crowded  in  upon  his  mind,  and  he  served  it 
out  to  his  audience  hot  and  strong.  If  his  deduc 
tions  could  have  been  proved  to  be  correct,  all 


Dusky  Philosophy.  91 

women  were  creatures  who,  by  reason  of  their 
seven-fold  diabolic  possession,  were  not  capable  of 
independent  thought  or  action,  and  who  should  in 
tears  and  humility  place  themselves  absolutely  un 
der  the  direction  and  authority  of  the  other  sex. 

When  he  approached  the  conclusion  of  his  ser 
mon,  Brother  Peter  closed  with  a  bang  the  Bible, 
which,  although  he  could  not  read  a  word  of  it, 
always  lay  open  before  him  while  he  preached,  and 
delivered  the  concluding  exhortation  of  his  sermon. 

"  Now,  my  dear  brev'ren  ob  dis  congregation," 
he  said,  "  I  want  you  to  understan'  dat  dar's  nuffin 
in  dis  yer  sarmon  wot  you've  jus'  heerd  ter  make 
you  think  yousefs  angels.  By  no  means,  brev'ren ; 
you  was  all  brung  up  by  women,  an'  you've  got 
ter  lib  wid'  em,  an  ef  anythin'  in  dis  yer  worl'  is 
ketchin',  my  dear  brev'ren,  it's  habin  debbils,  an' 
from  wot  I've  seen  ob  some  ob  de  men  ob  dis 
worl'  I  'spect  dey  is  persest  ob  'bout  all  de  debbils 
dey  got  room  fur.  But  de  Bible  don'  say  nuffin 
p'intedly  on  de  subjec'  ob  de  number  ob  debbils 
in  man,  an'  I  'spec'  dose  dat's  got  'em — an'  we 
ought  ter  feel.pow'ful  thankful,  my  dear  brev'ren, 
dat  de  Bible  don'  say  we  all's  got  'em — has  'em 
'cordin  to  sarcumstances.  But  wid  de  women  it's 
dif'rent ;  dey's  got  jus'  sebin,  an'  bless  my  soul, 
brev'ren,  I  think  dat's  'nuff. 


92  Dusky  Philosophy. 

"  While  I  was  a-turnin'ober  in  my  min'  de  sub- 
jec'  ob  dis  sarmon,  dere  come  ter  me  a  bit  ob 
Scripterwot  I  heerd  at  abigpreachin'an'  baptizin' 
at  Kyarter's  Mills,  'bout  ten  year'  ago.  One  ob  de 
preachers  was  a-tellin'  about  ole  mudder  Ebe 
a-eatin'  de  apple,  and  says  he :  De  sarpint  fus' 
come  along  wid  a  red  apple,  an'  says  he  :  You  gib 
dis  yer  to  your  husban',  an'  he  think  it  so 
mighty  good  dat  when  he  done  eat  it  he  gib  you 
anything  you  ax  him  fur,  ef  you  tell  him  whar 
de  tree  is.  Ebe,  she  took  one  bite,  an'  den  she 
frew  dat  apple  away.  '  Wot  you  mean,  you  triflin' 
sarpint,'  says  she,  '  a  fotchin'  me  dat  apple  wot  ain't 
good  fur  nuffin  but  ter  make  cider  wid.'  Den  de 
sarpint  he  go  fotch  her  a  yaller  apple,  an'  she  took 
one  bite  an'  den  says  she :  '  Go  'long  wid  ye,  you 
fool  sarpint,  wot  you  fotch  me  dat  June  apple  wot 
ain't  got  no  taste  to  it?'  Den  de  sarpint  he  think 
she  like  sumpin'  sharp,  an'  he  fotch  her  a  green 
apple.  She  takes  one  bite  ob  it,  an'  den  she  frows 
it  at  his  head,  an'  sings  out :  '  Is  you  'spectin'  me  to 
gib  dat  apple  to  yer  Uncle  Adam  an'  gib  him  de 
colic?'  Den  de  debbil  he  fotch  her  a  lady-apple, 
but  she  say  she  won't  take  no  sich  triflin'  nubbins 
as  dat  to  her  husban',  an'  she  took  one  bite  ob  it, 
an'  frew  it  away.  Den  he  go  fotch  her  two  udder 
kin'  ob  apples,  one  yaller  wid  red  stripes,  an'  de 


Dusky  Philosophy,  93 

udder  one  red  on  one  side  an'  green  on  de  udder, 
— mighty  good  lookin'  apples,  too — de  kin'  you  git 
two  dollars  a  bar'l  fur  at  the  store.  But  Ebe,  she 
wouldn't  hab  neider  ob  'em,  an'  when  she  done  took 
one  bite  out  ob  each  one,  she  frew  it  away.  Den 
de  ole  debbil-sarpint,  he  scratch  he  head,  an'  he 
say  to  hese'f :  '  Dis  yer  Ebe,  she  pow'ful  'ticklar 
'bout  her  apples.  Reckin  I'll  have  ter  wait  till 
after  fros',  an'  fetch  her  a  real  good  one.'  An'  he 
done  wait  till  after  fros',  and  then  he  fotch  her  a' 
Albemarle  pippin,  an'  when  she  took  one  bite  ob 
dat,  she  jus' go  'long  an'  eat  it  all  up,  core,  seeds, 
an'  all.  '  Look  h'yar,  sarpint,'  says  she,  '  hab  you 
got  anudder  ob  dem  apples  in  your  pocket  ?'  An' 
den  he  tuk  one  out,  an'  gib  it  to  her.  '  'Cuse  me,' 
says  she,  '  I's  gwine  ter  look  up  Adam,  an'  ef  he 
don'  want  ter  know  war  de  tree  is  wot  dese  apples 
grow  on,  you  can  hab  him  fur  a  corn-field  han'.' 

"An'  now,  my  dear  brev'ren,"  said  Brother 
Peter,  "  while  I  was  a-turnin'  dis  subjec'  ober  in 
my  min',  an'  wonderin'  how  de  women  come  ter 
hab  jus'  seben  debbils  apiece,  I  done  reckerleck  dat 
bit  ob  Scripter  wot  I  heerd  at  Kyarter's  Mills,  an' 
I  reckin  dat  'splains  how  de  debbils  got  inter  wom 
an.  De  sarpint  he  done  fotch  mudder  Ebe  seben 
apples,  an'  ebery  one  she  take  a  bite  out  of  gib  her 
a  debbil." 


94  Dusky  Philosophy* 

As  might  have  been  expected,  this  sermon  pro 
duced  a  great  sensation,  and  made  a  deep  impres 
sion  on  the  congregation.  As  a  rule  the  men  were 
tolerably  well  satisfied  with  it ;  and  when  the 
services  were  over  many  of  them  made  it  the  oc 
casion  of  shy  but  very  plainly  pointed  remarks  to 
their  female  friends  and  relatives. 

But  the  women  did  not  like  it  at  all.  Some  of 
them  became  angry,  and  talked  very  forcibly,  and 
feelings  of  indignation  soon  spread  among  all  the 
sisters  of  the  church.  If  their  minister  had  seen  fit 
to  stay  at  home  and  preach  a  sermon  like  this  to 
his  own  wife  (who,  it  may  be  remarked,  was  not 
present  on  this  occasion),  it  would  have  been  well 
enough,  provided  he  had  made  no  allusions  to 
outsiders;  but  to  come  there  and  preach  such 
things  to  them  was  entirely  too  much  for  their 
endurance.  Each  one  of  the  women  knew  she  had 
not  seven  devils,  and  only  a  few  of  them  would 
admit  of  the  possibility  of  any  of  the  others  being 
possessed  by  quite  so  many. 

Their  preacher's  explanation  of  the  manner  in 
which  every  woman  came  to  be  possessed  of  just 
so  many  devils  appeared  to  them  of  little  impor 
tance.  What  they  objected  to  was  the  fundamental 
doctrine  of  his  sermon,  which  was  based  on  his 
assertion  that  the  Bible  declared  every  woman  had 


Dusky  Philosophy.  95 

seven  devils.  They  were  not  willing  to  believe 
that  the  Bible  said  any  such  thing.  Some  of  them 
went  so  far  as  to  state  it  was  their  opinion 
that  Uncle  Pete  had  got  this  fool  notion  from 
some  of  the  lawyers  at  the  court-house  when  he 
was  on  a  jury  a  month  or  so  before.  It  was  quite 
noticeable  that,  although  Sunday  afternoon  had 
scarcely  begun,  the  majority  of  the  women  of  the 
congregation  called  their  minister  Uncle  Pete. 
This  was  very  strong  evidence  of  a  sudden  decline 
in  his  popularity. 

Some  of  the  more  vigorous-minded  women,  not 
seeing  their  minister  among  the  other  people  in 
the  clearing  in  front  of  the  log  church,  went  to  look 
for  him,  but  he  was  not  to  be  found.  His  wife  had 
ordered  him  to  be  home  early,  and  soon  after  the 
congregation  had  been  dismissed  he  departed  by  a 
short  cut  through  the  woods.  That  afternoon  an 
irate  committee,  composed  principally  of  women, 
but  including  also  a  few  men  who  had  expressed 
disbelief  in  the  new  doctrine,  arrived  at  the  cabin 
of  their  preacher,  but  found  there  only  his  wife, 
cross-grained  old  Aunt  Rebecca.  She  informed 
them  that  her  husband  was  not  at  home. 

"  He's  done  'gaged  hisse'f,"  she  said,  "  ter  cut 
an'  haul  wood  fur  Kunnel  Martin  ober  on  Little 
Mount'n  fur  de  whole  ob  nex'  week.  It's  fourteen 


96  Dusky  Philosophy, 

or  thirteen  mile'  from  h'yar,  an'  ef  he'd  started  ter- 
morrer  mawnin',  he'd  los'  a'mos'  a  whole  day. 
'Sides  dat,  I  done  tole  him  dat  ef  he  git  dar  ter- 
night  he'd  have  his  supper  frowed  in.  Wot  you 
all  want  wid  him  ?  Gwine  to  pay  him  fur 
preachin'  ?" 

Any  such  intention  as  this  was  instantaneously 
denied,  and  Aunt  Rebecca  was  informed  of  the 
subject  upon  which  her  visitors  had  come  to  have 
a  very  plain  talk  with  her  husband. 

Strange  to  say,  the  announcement  of  the  new 
and  startling  dogma  had  apparently  no  disturbing 
effect  upon  Aunt  Rebecca.  On  the  contrary,  the 
old  woman  seemed  rather  to  enjoy  the  news. 

"  Reckin  he  oughter  know  all  'bout  dat,"  she 
said.  "  He's  done  had  three  wives,  an'  he  ain't  got 
rid  o'  dis  one  yit." 

Judging  from  her  chuckles  and  waggings  of  the 
head  when  she  made  this  remark,  it  might  be  im 
agined  that  Aunt  Rebecca  was  rather  proud  of  the 
fact  that  her  husband  thought  her  capable  of  ex 
hibiting  a  different  kind  of  diabolism  every  day  in 
the  week. 

The  leader  of  the  indignant  church  members  was 
Susan  Henry,  a  mulatto  woman  of  a  very  indepen 
dent  turn  of  mind.  She  prided  herself  that  she 
never  worked  in  anybody's  house  but  her  own, 


Dusky  Philosophy.  97 

and  this  immunity  from  outside  service  gave  her  a 
certain  pre-eminence  among  her  sisters.  Not  only 
did  Susan  share  the  general  resentment  with  which 
the  startling  statement  of  old  Peter  had  been  re 
ceived,  but  she  felt  that  its  promulgation  had  af 
fected  her  position  in  the  community.  If  every 
woman  was  possessed  by  seven  devils,  then,  in  this 
respect,  she  was  no  better  nor  worse  than  any  of 
the  others  ;  and  at  this  her  proud  heart  rebelled. 
If  the  preacher  had  said  some  women  had  eight 
devils  and  others  six,  it  would  have  been  better. 
She  might  then  have  made  a  mental  arrangement  in 
regard  to  her  relative  position  which  would  have 
somewhat  consoled  her.  But  now  there  was  no 
chance  for  that.  The  words  of  the  preacher  had 
equally  debased  all  women. 

A  meeting  of  the  disaffected  church  members 
was  held  the  next  night  at  Susan  Henry's  cabin, 
or  rather  in  the  little  yard  about  it,  for  the  house 
was  not  large  enough  to  hold  the  people  who  at 
tended  it.  The  meeting  was  not  regularly  organ 
ized,  but  everybody  said  what  he  or  she  had  to 
say,  and  the  result  was  a  great  deal  of  clamor,  and 
a  general  increase  of  indignation  against  Uncle  Pete. 

"  Look  h'yar  !  "  cried  Susan,  at  the  end  of  some 
energetic  remarks,  "  is  dar  enny  pusson  h'yar  who 
kin  count  up  riggers  ?  " 


98  Dusky  Philosophy. 

Inquiries  on  the  subject  ran  through  the  crowd, 
and  in  a  few  moments  a  black  boy,  about  fourteen, 
was  pushed  forward  as  an  expert  in  arithmetic. 

"  Now,  you  Jim,"  said  Susan,  "  you's  been  to 
school,  an'  you  kin  count  up  riggers.  'Cordin'  ter 
de  chu'ch  books  dar's  forty-seben  women  b'longin' 
to  our  meetin',  an'  ef  each  one  ob  dem  dar  has  got 
seben  debbils  in  her,  I  jus'  wants  you  ter  tell  me 
how  many  debbils  come  to  chu'ch  ebery  clear  Sun 
day  ter  hear  dat  ole  Uncle  Pete  preach." 

This  view  of  the  case  created  a  sensation,  and 
much  interest  was  shown  in  the  result  of  Jim's  cal 
culations,  which  were  made  by  the  aid  of  a  back 
of  an  old  letter  and  a  piece  of  pencil  furnished  by 
Susan.  The  result  was  at  last  announced  as  three 
hundred  and  nineteen,  which,  although  not  precise 
ly  correct,  was  near  enough  to  satisfy  the  company. 

"  Now,  you  jus'  turn  dat  ober  in  you  all's 
minds,"  said  Susan.  "  More'n  free  hunderd  deb 
bils  in  chu'ch  ebery  Sunday,  an'  we  women  fotchin 
'em.  Does  anybody  s'pose  I'se  gwine  ter.b'lieve 
dat  fool  talk  ?  " 

A  middle-aged  man  now  lifted  up  his  voice  and 
said  :  "  Ise  been  thinkin'  ober  dis  h'yar  matter 
and  Ise  'eluded  dat  p'r'apsde  words  ob  de  preacher 
was  used  in  a  figgeratous  form  o'  sense.  P'r'aps  de 
seben  debbils  meant  chillun." 


Dusky  Philosophy.  99 

These  remarks  were  received  with  no  favor  by 
the  assemblage. 

"  Oh,  you  git  out ! "  cried  Susan.  "  Your  ole 
woman's  got  seben  chillun,  shore  'nuf,  an'  I  s'pec' 
dey's  all  debbils.  But  dem  sent'ments  don't  apply 
terall  de  udder  women  h'yar,  'tic'larly  ter  dem  dar 
young  uns  wot  ain't  married  yit." 

This  was  good  logic,  but  the  feeling  on  the  sub 
ject  proved  to  be  even  stronger,  for  the  mothers  in 
the  company  became  so  angry  at  their  children  be 
ing  considered  devils  that  for  a  time  there  seemed 
to  be  danger  of  an  Amazonian  attack  on  the  un 
fortunate  speaker.  This  was  averted,  but  a  great 
deal  of  uproar  now  ensued,  and  it  was  the  general 
feeling  that  something  ought  to  be  done  to  show 
the  deep-seated  resentment  with  which  the  hor 
rible  charge  against  the  mothers  and  sisters  of  the 
congregation  had  been  met.  Many  violent  propo 
sitions  were  made,  some  of  the  younger  men  going 
so  far  as  to  offer  to  burn  down  the  church.  It  was 
finally  agreed,  quite  unanimously,  that  old  Peter 
should  be  unceremoniously  ousted  from  his  place 
in  the  pulpit  which  he  had  filled  so  many  years. 

As  the  week  passed  on,  some  of  the  older  men  of 
the  congregation  who  had  friendly  feelings  toward 
their  old  companion  and  preacher  talked  the  mat 
ter  over  among  themselves,  and  afterward,  with 


IOO  Dusky  Philosophy. 

many  of  their  fellow-members,  succeeded  at  last  in 
gaining  the  general  consent  that  Uncle  Pete  should 
be  allowed  a  chance  to  explain  himself,  and  give 
his  grounds  and  reasons  for  his  astounding  state 
ment  in  regard  to  womankind.  If  he  could  show 
biblical  authority  for  this,  of  course  nothing  more 
could  be  said.  But  if  he  could  not,  then  he  must 
get  down  from  the  pulpit,  and  sit  for  the  rest  of 
his  life  on  a  back  seat  of  the  church.  This  propo 
sition  met  with  the  more  favor,  because  even  those 
who  were  most  indignant  had  an  earnest  curiosity 
to  know  what  the  old  man  would  say  for  himself. 
During  all  this  time  of  angry  discussion,  good 
old  Peter  was  quietly  and  calmly  cutting  and 
hauling  wood  on  the  Little  Mountain.  His  mind 
was  in  a  condition  of  great  comfort  and  peace,  for 
not  only  had  he  been  able  to  rid  himself,  in  his 
last  sermon,  of  many  of  the  hard  thoughts  con 
cerning  women  that  had  been  gathering  themselves 
together  for  years,  but  his  absence  from  home  had 
given  him  a  holiday  from  the  harassments  of  Aunt 
Rebecca's  tongue,  so  that  no  new  notions  of 
woman's  culpability  had  risen  within  him.  He 
had  dismissed  the  subject  altogether,  and  had  been 
thinking  over  a  sermon  regarding  baptism,  which 
he  thought  he  could  make  convincing  to  certain  of 
the  younger  members  of  his  congregation. 


Dusky  Philosophy.  101 

He  arrived  at  home  very  late  on  Saturday  night, 
and  retired  to  his  simple  couch  without  knowing 
anything  of  the  terrible  storm  which  had  been 
gathering  through  the  week,  and  which  was  to 
burst  upon  him  on  the  morrow.  But  the  next 
morning,  long  before  church  time,  he  received 
warning  enough  of  what  was  going  to  happen.  In 
dividuals  and  deputations  gathered  in  and  about 
his  cabin — some  to  tell  him  all  that  had  been  said 
and  done ;  some  to  inform  him  what  was  expected 
of  him ;  some  to  stand  about  and  look  at  him  ; 
some  to  scold;  some  to  denounce;  but,  alas!  not 
one  to  encourage ;  nor  one  to  call  him  "  Brudder 
Pete,"  that  Sunday  appellation  dear  to  his  ears. 
But  the  old  man  possessed  a  stubborn  soul,  not 
easily  to  be  frightened. 

"  Wot  I  says  in  de  pulpit,"  he  remarked,  "  I'll 
'splain  in  de  pulpit,  an'  you  all  ud  better  git  'long 
to  de  chu'ch,  an'  when  de  time  fur  de  sarvice  come, 
I'll  be  dar." 

This  advice  was  not  promptly  acted  upon,  but 
in  the  course  of  half  an  hour  nearly  all  the  vil 
lagers  and  loungers  had  gone  off  to  the  church  in 
the  woods  ;  and  when  Uncle  Peter  had  put  on  his 
high  black  hat,  somewhat  battered,  but  still  suf 
ficiently  clerical  looking  for  that  congregation,  and 
had  given  something  of  a  polish  to  his  cowhide 


102  Dusky  Philosophy. 

shoes,  he  betook  himself  by  the  accustomed  path 
to  the  log  building  where  he  had  so  often  held 
forth  to  his  people.  As  soon  as  he  entered  the 
church  he  was  formally  instructed  by  a  committee 
of  the  leading  members  that  before  he  began  to 
open  the  services,  he  must  make  it  plain  to  the 
congregation  that  what  he  had  said  on  the  preced 
ing  Sunday  about  every  woman  being  possessed  by 
seven  devils  was  Scripture  truth,  and  not  mere 
wicked  nonsense  out  of  his  own  brain.  If  he  could 
not  do  that,  they  wanted  no  more  praying  or 
preaching  from  him. 

Uncle  Peter  made  no  answer,  but,  ascending  the 
little  pulpit,  he  put  his  hat  on  the  bench  behind 
him  where  it  was  used  to  repose,  took  out  his  red 
cotton  handkerchief  and  blew  his  nose  in  his  ac 
customed  way,  and  looked  about  him.  The  house 
was  crowded.  Even  Aunt  Rebecca  was  there. 

After  a  deliberate  survey  of  his  audience  the 
preacher  spoke  :  "  Brev'eren  an'  sisters,  I  see  afore 
me  Brudder  Bill  Hines,  who  kin  read  de  Bible,  an' 
has  got  one.  Ain't  dat  so,  Brudder?" 

Bill  Hines  having  nodded  and  modestly  grunt 
ed  assent,  the  preacher  continued.  "  An'  dars' 
Aun'  Priscilla's  boy,  Jake,  who  ain't  a  brudder 
yit,  though  he's  plenty  old  'nuf,  min,'  I  tell  ye ; 
an'  he  kin  read  de  Bible,  fus'  rate,  an'  has  read 


Dusky  Philosophy.  103 

it  ter  me  ober  an'  ober  ag'in.  Ain't  dat  so, 
Jake?" 

Jake  grinned,  nodded,  and  hung  his  head,  very 
uncomfortable  at  being  thus  publicly  pointed  out. 

"  An*  dar's  good  ole  Aun'  Patty,  who  knows 
more  Scripter'  dan  ennybuddy  h'yar,  havin'  been 
teached  by  de  little  gals  from  Kunnel  Jasper's  an' 
by  dere  mudders  afore  'em.  I  reckin  she  know'  de 
hull  Bible  straight  froo,  from  de  Garden  of  Eden 
to  de  New  Jerus'lum.  An'  dar  are  udders  h'yar 
who  knows  de  Scripters,  some  one  part  an'  some 
anudder.  Now  I  axes  ebery  one  ob  you  all  wot 
know  de  Scripters  ef  he  don'  'member  how  de 
Bible  tells  how  our  Lor'  when  he  was  on  dis  yearth 
cas'  seben  debbils  out  o'  Mary  Magdalum  ?" 

A  murmur  of  assent  came  from  the  congregation. 
Most  of  them  remembered  that. 

"  But  did  enny  ob  you  ebber  read,  or  hab  read  to 
you,  dat  he  ebber  cas'  'em  out  o'enny  udder  woman  ?" 

Negative  grunts  and  shakes  of  the  head  signified 
that  nobody  had  ever  heard  of  this. 

"  Well,  den,"  said  the  preacher,  gazing  blandly 
around,  "  all  de  udder  women  got  'em  yit." 

A  deep  silence  fell  upon  the  assembly,  and  in  a 
few  moments  an  elderly  member  arose.  "  Brudder 
Pete,"  he  said,  "  I  reckin  you  mought  as  well  gib 
out  de  hyme." 


IO4  Dusky  Philosophy. 

SECOND   EXPOSITION  :   GRANDISON'S   QUANDARY. 

Grandison  Pratt  was  a  colored  man  of  about 
thirty,  who,  with  his  wife  and  two  or  three  children, 
lived  in  a  neat  log  cabin  in  one  of  the  Southern 
States.  He  was  a  man  of  an  independent  turn  of 
mind,  and  he  much  desired  to  own  the  house  in 
which  he  lived  and  the  small  garden-patch  around 
it.  This  valuable  piece  of  property  belonged  to 
Mr.  Morris,  and  as  it  was  an  outlying  corner  of  his 
large  farm  he  had  no  objection  to  sell  it  to  Grandi 
son,  provided  the  latter  could  pay  for  it ;  but  of 
this  he  had  great  doubts.  The  man  was  industri 
ous  enough,  but  he  often  seemed  to  have  a  great 
deal  of  difficulty  about  paying  the  very  small  ren 
tal  charged  for  his  place,  and  Mr.  Morris,  conse 
quently,  had  well-grounded  doubts  about  his 
ability  to  purchase  it. 

"  But,  sah,"  said  Grandison  one  day  when  these 
objections  had  been  placed  before  him,  "  I's  been 
turnin'  dis  thing  ober  in  my  min'  ober  an'  ober. 
I  know  jes'  how  much  I  kin  make  an'  how  much 
I's  got  to  spend  an'  how  I  kin  save  ter  buy  the 
house,  an'  if  I  agree  to  pay  you  so  much  money  on 
such  a  day  an'  so  much  on  such  anudder  day  I's 
gvvine  ter  do  it.  You  kin  jes'  put  that  down,  sah, 
for  sartin  shuh." 


Dusky  Philosophy.  105 

"Well,  Grandison,"  said  Mr.  Morris,  "  I'll  give 
you  a  trial.  If,  at  the  end  of  six  months,  you  can 
pay  me  the  first  instalment,  I'll  have  the  necessary 
papers  made  out,  and  you  can  go  on  and  buy  the 
place,  but  if  you  are  not  up  to  time  on  the  first 
payment,  I  want  to  hear  no  more  about  the  pur 
chase." 

"  All  right,  Mahs'r  Morris,"  said  Grandison. 
"  If  I  gibs  you  my  word  ter  pay  de  money  on  de 
fus'  day  ob  October,  I's  gwine  to  do  it.  Dat's  sar- 
tin  shuh." 

Months  passed  on,  and,  although  Grandison 
worked  as  steadily  as  usual,  he  found  toward  the 
end  of  September  that,  in  the  ordinary  course  of 
things,  he  would  not  be  able  to  make  up  the  sum 
necessary  for  the  first  payment.  Other  methods 
out  of  the  ordinary  course  came  into  his  mind,  but 
he  had  doubts  about  availing  himself  of  them.  He 
was  extremely  anxious  to  make  up  the  amount 
due,  for  he  knew  very  well  that  if  he  did  not  pay 
it  on  the  day  appointed  he  might  bid  farewell  to 
his  hope  of  becoming  a  freeholder.  In  his  per 
plexity  he  resolved  to  consult  Brother  'Bijah,  the 
minister  of  the  little  church  in  the  pine-woods  to 
which  Grandison  belonged. 

"  Now,  look-a-heah,  Brudder  'Bijah,"  said  he, 
"  wot's  I  gwine  to  do  'bout  dis  bizness  ?  I  done 


io6  Dusky  Philosophy. 

promised  ter  pay  dis  money  on  de  fus'  day  ob  de 
comin'  month,  an'  dar's  six  dollars  ob  it  dat  I  ain't 
got  yit." 

"An'  aint  dar  any  way  ter  git  it  ?"  asked  'Bijah. 

"  Yaas,  dar's  one  way,"  said  Grandison.  "  I's  been 
turnin'  dis  matter  ober  an'  ober  in  my  min',  an'  dar's 
only  one  way.  I  mought  sell  apples.  Apples  is 
mighty  skarse  dis  fall,  an'  I  kin  git  two  dollars  a 
bar'l  for  'em  in  town.  Now,  if  I  was  ter  sell  three 
bar'ls  of  apples  I'd  hab  dat  dar  six  dollars,  sartin 
shuh.  Don'  you  see  dat,  Brudder  'Bijah  ?  " 

"  Dat's  all  clar  'nuf,"  said  the  minister,  "  but 
whar  you  gwine  ter  git  three  bar'ls  o'  apples  ?  You 
don'  mean  ter  tell  me  dat  you's  got  'nuf  apple- 
trees  in  your  little  gyardin  fur  ter  shake  down 
three  bar'ls  o'  apples." 

"  Now  look  a-heah,  Brudder  'Bijah,"  said 
Grandison,  his  eyes  sparkling  with  righteous  in 
dignation,  "  dat's  toomuch'to  'spec'  ob  a  man  who's 
got  ter  work  all  day  to  s'port  his  wife  an'  chillun. 
I  digs,  an'  I  plows,  an'  I  plants,  an'  I  hoes.  But 
all  dem  things  ain't  'nuf  ter  make  apple-trees  grow 
in  my  gyardin  like  as  dey  was  corn-field  peas." 

"  Dat's  so,"  said  'Bijah,  reflectively.  "  Dat's  too 
much  to  spec'  ob  any  man.  But  how's  you  gwine 
ter  sell  de  apples  if  you  ain't  got  'em  ?  " 

"  I's  got  ter  git  em,"  said  Grandison.     "  Dar's 


Dusky  Philosophy.  107 

apples  'nuf  growin'  roun'  an'  not  so  fur  away  dat  I 
can't  tote  'em  ter  my  house  in  a  bahsket.  It's 
pow'ful  hard  on  a  man  wot's  worked  all  day  ter 
have  ter  tote  apples  ahfter  night,  but  dar  ain'  no 
other  way  ob  gittin'  dat  dar  money." 

"  I  spec'  de  orchard  whar  you's  thinkin'  o'  gwine 
is  Mahs'r  Morrises,"  said  the  minister. 

"You  don'  'spose  Ise  gwine  ter  any  ob  dose  low 
down  orchards  on  de  udder  side  de  creek,  does  ye  ? 
Mahs'r  Morris  has  got  the  bes'  apples  in  dis  county. 
Dat's  de  kin'  wot  fetch  two  dollars  a  bar'l." 

"  Brudder  Gran'son,"  said  'Bijah,  solemnly,  "  is 
you  min'  runnin  on  takin'  Mahs'r  Morrises  apples 
inter  town  an'  sellin'  em  ?  " 

"Well,  he  gits  de  money,  don't  he  ?"  answered 
the  other,  "  and  if  I  don't  sell  his  apples  'taint  no 
use  sellin'  none.  Dem  udder  little  nubbins  roun' 
heah  won't  fetch  no  two  dollars  a  bar'l." 

"  Dem  ain't  justifyin'  deeds  wot's  runnin'  in 
your  mind,"  said  'Bijah.  "  Dey  ain't  justifyin'." 

"  Ob  course,"  said  Grandison,  "dey  wouldn't  be 
justifyin'  if  I  had  de  six  dollars.  But  I  ain't  got 
'em,  an'  Ise  promised  to  pay  'em.  Now,  is  I  ter 
stick  to  de  truf,  or  isn't  I  ?" 

"  Truf  is  mighty,"  said  the  preacher,  "  an'  ought 
not  to  be  hendered  from  prevailin'." 

"  Dat's   so  !    dat's    so  ! "  exclaimed    Grandison. 


io8  Dusky  Philosophy. 

"  You  can't  go  agin  de  Scripters.  Truf  is  mighty, 
an'  'tain't  fur  pore  human  critters  like  us  to  try  to 
upsot  her.  Wot  we're  got  ter  do  is  ter  stick  to  her 
through  thick  an'  thin." 

"  Ob  course,  dat's  wot  we  oughter  do,"  said  'Bi- 
jah,  "but  I  can't  see  my  way  clar  toyousellin'  dem 
apples." 

"  But  dar  ain't  nuffin  else  ter  do !"  exclaimed 
Grandison,  "  an'  ef  I  don't  do  dat,  away  goes  de 
truf,  clar  out  o'  sight.  An'  wot  sort  o'  'ligion  you 
call  dat,  Brudder  'Bijah  ?  " 

"  'Tain't  no  kind  at  all,"  said  'Bijah,  "  fur  we's 
bound  ter  stick  to  de  truf,  which  is  de  bottom 
corner-stone  ob  piousness.  But  dem  apples  don't 
seem  ter  git  demselves  straightened  out  in  my 
mind,  Brudder  Gran'son." 

"  It  'pears  ter  me,  Brudder  'Bijah,  dat  you  doan' 
look  at  dem  apples  in  de  right  light.  If  I  was 
gwine  ter  sell  'em  to  git  money  ter  buy  a  lot  o' 
spotted  calliker  ter  make  frocks  for  de  chillen,  or 
eben  to  buy  two  pars  o'  shoes  fur  me  an'  Judy  ter 
go  to  church  in,  dat  would  be  a  sin,  sartin  shuh. 
But  you  done  furgit  dat  I's  gwine  ter  take  de 
money  ter  Mahs'r  Morris.  If  apples  is  riz  an'  I 
gits  two  dollars  an'  a  quarter  a  bar'l,  ob  course  I 
keeps  de  extry  quarter,  which  don'  pay  anyhow 
fur  de  trouble  ob  pickin'  'em.  But  de  six  dollars  I 


Dusky  PJiilosophy.  109 

gibs,  cash  down,  ter  Mahs'r  Morris.  Don'  you 
call  dat  puffectly  fa'r  an'  squar,  Brudder  'Bijah  ?  " 

'Bijah  shook  his  head.  "  Dis  is  a  mighty  duber- 
some  question,  Brudder  Gran'son,  a  mighty  duber- 
some  question." 

Grandison  stood  with  a  disappointed  expression 
on  his  countenance.  He  greatly  desired  to  gain 
from  his  minister  sanction  for  the  financial  opera 
tion  he  had  proposed.  But  this  the  solemn  'Bijah 
did  not  appear  prepared  to  give.  As  the  two  men 
stood  together  by  the  roadside  they  saw,  riding 
toward  them,  Mr.  Morris  himself. 

"  Now,'den,"  exclaimed  Grandison,  "  heah  comes 
Mahs'r  Morris,  and  I's  gwine  ter  put  dis  question 
to  hisse'f.  He  oughter  know  how  ter  'cide  bout 
it,  if  anybody  does." 

"  You  ain't  truly  gwine  ter  put  dat  question  to 
him,  is  ye  ?"  asked  'Bijah,  quickly. 

"  No,  sah,"  replied  the  other.  "  I's  gwine  to 
put  the  case  on  a  dif'rent  show-pint.  But  'twill 
be  the  same  thing  as  de  udder." 

Mr.  Morris  was  a  genial-natured  man,  who  took 
a  good  deal  of  interest  in  his  negro  neighbors,  and 
was  fond  of  listening  to  their  peculiar  humor. 
Therefore,  when  he  saw  that  Grandison  wished  to 
speak  to  him  he  readily  pulled  up  his  horse. 

"  Mahs'r  Morris,"  said  Grandison,  removing  his 


I IO  Dusky  Philosophy. 

hat,  "  Brudder  'Bijah  an'  me  has  been  argyin  on 
de  subjick  ob  truf.  An'  jes'  as  you  was  comin'  up 
I  was  gwine  ter  tell  him  a  par'ble  'bout  sticken 
ter  truf.  An'  if  you's  got  time,  Mahs'r  Morris,  I'd 
be  pow'ful  glad  ter  tell  you  de  par'ble,  an'  let  you 
'cide  'tween  us." 

"  Very  well,"  said  Mr.  Morris,  "goon  with  your 
parable." 

"  Dis  yere  par'ble,"  said  Grandison,  "  has  got  a 
justifyin'  meanin'  in  it,  an'  it's  'bout  a  bar  an'  a'  pos 
sum.  De  'possum  he  was  a-gwine  out  early  in  de 
mawnin'  ter  git  a  little  corn  fur  his  breakfus' " 

"  Very  wrong  in  the  opossum,"  said  Mr.  Morris, 
"  for  I  am  sure  he  hadn't  planted  any  corn." 

"  Well,  den,  sah,"  said  Grandison,  "  p'raps  'twas 
akerns ;  but,  anyway,  afore  he  was  out  ob  de  woods 
he  see  a  big,  ole  bar  a-comin'  straight  'long  to  him. 
De  'possum  he  ain't  got  no  time  ter  climb  a  tree  an' 
git  out  on  de  leetlest  end  ob  a  long  limb,  an'  so  he 
lay  hese'f  flat  down  on  de  groun'  an'  make  b'lieve 
he's  dead.  When  de  ole  bar  came  up  he  sot  down 
an'  look  at  de  'possum.  Fus'  he  turn  his  head  on 
one  side  an'  den  he  turn  his  head  on  de  udder,  but 
he  look  at  de  'possum  all  de  time.  D'reckly  he 
gits  done  lookin'  an'  he  says  : 

"  '  Look-a-heah,  'possum,  is  you  dead  or  is  you 
libin'  ?  If  you's  dead  I  won't  eat  you,  fur  I  neber 


Dusky  Philosophy.  in 

eats  dead  critters,  but  if  you's  libin'  den  I  eats  you 
for  my  breakfus,'  fur  I  is  bilin'  hungry,  not  havin' 
had  nuffin  sence  sun-up  but  a  little  smack  dat  I 
took  afore  gwine  out  inter  de  damp  air  ob  de 
mawnin'.  Now,  den,  'possum,  speak  out  and  tell 
me  is  you  'libe  or  is  you  dead  ? ' 

"Dat  are  question  frew  de  'possum  interapow'- 
ful  sweat.  If  he  told  de  truf  an'  said  he  was  alibe 
he  knowed  well  'nuf  dat  de  bar  would  gobble  him 
up  quicker'n  if  he'd  been  a  hot  ash  cake  an'  a  bowl 
of  buttermilk  ;  but  if  he  said  he  was  dead  so's  de 
bar  wouldn't  eat  him,  de  bar,  like  'nuf,  would  know 
he  lied,  an'  would  eat  him  all  de  same.  So  he 
turn  de  matter  ober  an'  ober  in  his  min',  an'  he 
wrastled  with  his  Victions,  but  he  couldn't  come 
ter  no  'elusion.  '  Now  don't  you  tink,'  said  de 
bar,  '  dat  I's  got  time  to  sit  here  de  whole  mawn 
in'  waitin'  fer  you  ter  make  up  your  mind  whether 
you's  dead  or  not.  If  you  don't  'cide  pretty  quick, 
I'll  put  a  big  rock  a-top  o'  you,  an'  stop  fer  you 
answer  when  I  come  back  in  de  ebenin'.'  Now 
dis  gib  de  'possum  a  pow'ful  skeer,  an'  'twas  cl'ar 
to  his  min'  dat  he  mus'  'cide  de  question  straight 
off.  If  he  tole  de  truf,  and  said  he  was  alibe,  he'd 
be  eat  up  shuh ;  but  if  he  said  he  was  dead,  de 
bar  mought  b'lieve  him.  'Twarn't  very  likely  dat 
he  would,  but  dar  was  dat  one  leetle  chance,  an' 


112  Dusky  Philosophy. 

he  done  took  it.  '  I  is  dead,'  says  he.  '  You's 
a  long  time  makin'  up  your  min'  'bout  it,'  says 
de  bar.  '  How  long  you  been  dead  ? '  '  Sence 
day  'fore  yestidday,'  says  the  'possum.  'All 
right ! '  says  de  bar, '  when  dey've  on'y  been  dead 
two  or  free  days,  an'  kin  talk,  I  eats  'em  all  de 
same.'  An'  he  eat  him  up." 

"  And  now,  Grandison,"  said  Mr.  Morris, 
"  where  is  the  moral  of  that  parable  ?  " 

"  De  moral  is  dis,"  said  Grandison  ;  "  stick  ter 
de  truf.  If  de  'possum  had  tole  de  truf,  an'  said  he 
was  alibe,  de  bar  couldn't  eat  him  no  more'n  he 
did  eat  him ;  no  bar  could  do  dat.  An'  I  axes  you, 
Mahs'r  Morris,  don'  dat  par'ble  show  dat  eb'rybody 
oughter  stick  ter  detruf,  no  matter  what  happens." 

"  Well,  I  don't  think  your  moral  is  very  clear," 
said  Mr.  Morris,  "  for  it  would  have  been  about  as 
bad  for  the  'possum  one  way  as  the  other.  But,  after 
all,  it  would  have  been  better  for  the  little  beast  to 
tell  the  truth  and  die  with  a  clear  conscience." 

"Dat's  so!"  cried  Brother  'Bijah,  speaking  in 
his  ministerial  capacity,  "  de  great  thing  in  dis 
worl'  is  ter  die  wid  a  clear  conscience." 

"  But  you  can't  do  dat," said  Grandison,  "if  you 
let  dis  thing  an'  dat  thing  come  in  ter  hinder  ye. 
Now  dat's  jes'  wot  we's  been  disputin'  'bout,  Mahs'r 
Morris.  I  'clared  dat  we  oushter  stick  ter  de  truf 


Dusky  PltilosopJiy.  113 

widout  lookin'  to  de  right  or'de  lef  ;  but  Brudder 
'Bijah,  his  min'  wasn't  quite  made  up  on  de  sub- 
jick.  Now,  wot  you  say,  Mahs'r  Morris  ?  " 

"  I  say  stick  to  the  truth,  of  course,"  said  Mr. 
Morris,  gathering  up  his  reins.  "  And,  by  the 
way,  Grandison,  do  you  expect  to  make  that  pay 
ment  on  your  place  which  is  due  next  week  ?  " 

"  Yaas,  sah,  sartin  shuh,"  said  Grandison.  "  I 
done  tole  you  I'd  do  it,  Mahs'r  Morris,  an'  I  'tends 
ter  stick  ter  de  truf." 

"  Now,  den,"  said  Grandison,  in  a  tone  of  tri 
umph,  when  Mr.  Morris  had  ridden  away,  "  you 
see  I's  right  in  my  'elusions,  and  Mahs'r  Morris 
'grees  with  me." 

"  Dunno,"  said  Brother  'Bijah,  shaking  his  head, 
"  dis  is  a  mighty  dubersome  question.  You  kep' 
dem  apples  clar  out  o'  sight,  Brudder  Gran'son  ; 
clar  out  o'  sight." 

It  was  about  a  week  after  this,  quite  early  in  the 
morning,  that  Grandison  was  slowly  driving  into 
town  with,  a  horse  and  a  wagon  which  he  had  bor 
rowed  from  a  neighbor.  In  the  wagon  were  three 
barrels  of  fine  apples.  Suddenly,  at  a  turn  in  the 
road,  he  was  greatly  surprised  to  meet  Mr.  Morris, 
riding  homeward. 

"  What  have  you  in  those  barrels,  Grandison  ?  " 

inquired  his  landlord. 
8 


114  Dusky  PJiilosopliy. 

"  Dey's  apples,  sah,"  was  the  reply,  "  datTs  got 
de  job  ob  haulin'  ter  town,  sah." 

Mr.  Morris  rode  up  to  the  wagon  and  removed 
the  piece  of  old  canvas  that  was  thrown  over  the 
tops  of  the  barrels ;  there  was  no  need  of  asking 
any  questions.  No  one  but  himself,  for  many 
miles  around, had  "Belle -flowers "and  "Jeannettes" 
like  these. 

"  How  much  do  you  lack,  Grandison,"  he  said, 
"  of  making  up  the  money  you  owe  me  to-morrow  ?  " 

"  Six  dollars,  sah,"  said  Grandison. 

"  Six  dollars — three  barrels — very  good,"  said 
Mr.  Morris.  "  I  see  you  are  determined  to  stick 
to  the  truth,  Grandison,  and  keep  your  engage 
ment.  But  I  will  trouble  you  to  turn  that  wagon 
round  and  haul  those  apples  to  my  house.  And, 
if  you  still  want  to  buy  the  place,  you  can  come 
on  Monday  morning  and  work  out  the  balance  you 
have  to  make  up  on  the  first  instalment ;  and, 
after  this,  you  can  make  all  your  payments  in 
work.  A  day's  labor  is  fair  and  plain,  but  your 
ways  of  sticking  to  the  truth  are  very  crooked." 

It  was  not  long  after  this  that  Grandison  was 
ploughing  in  one  of  Mr.  Morris'  fields,  when  Broth 
er  'Bijah  came  along  and  sat  upon  the  fence. 

"  Brudder  Gran'son,"  said  he,  when  the  plough 
man  had  reached  the  end  of  the  furrow  and  was 


Dusky  Philosophy.  115 

preparing  to  turn,  "  jes'  you  let  your  hoss  res'  a 
minnit  till  I  tells  you  a  par'ble." 

"  Wot  par'ble  ?"  said  Grandison,  in  a  tone  of  un 
concern,  but  stopping  his  horse,  all  the  same. 

"  Why,  dis  one! "  said  'Bijah.  "  Dar  was  an  ole 
mule  an'  he  b'longed  to  a  cullud  man  named  Har 
ris  who  used  to  carry  de  mail  from  de  Coht  House 
ter  Gary's  Cross-roads.  De  ole  mule  was  a  pow'ful 
triflin'  critter  an'  he  got  lazier  an'  lazier,  an'  'fore 
long  he  got  so  dreffle  slow  dat  it  tuk  him  more'n 
one  day  ter  go  from  de  Coht  House  ter  de  cross 
roads,  an'  he  allus  come  in  de  day  ahfter  mail-day, 
when  de  people  was  done  gone  home.  So  de  cul 
lud  man,  Harris,  he  says  : 

'•'  'You  is  too  ole  fur  ter  carry  de  mail,  you  triflin' 
mule,  an'  I  hain't  got  no  udder  use  fur  you.' 

"  So  he  put  him  in  a  gully-field,  whar  dar  was 
nuffin  but  bar'  groun'  an'  hog  weed.  Now,  dar 
was  nuffin  in  dis  worl'  dat  triflin'  mule  hated  so 
much  as  hog  weed,  an'  he  says  to  hese'f :  '  I's 
boun'  ter  do  somefm'  better'n  dis  fur  a  libin.  I 
reckin  I'll  go  skeer  dat  ole  Harris,  an'  make  him 
gib  me  a  feed  o'  corn.'  So  he  jump  ober  de  fence, 
fur  he  was  spry  'nuf  when  he  had  a  min'  ter,  an' 
he  steals  an  ole  bar  skin  dat  he'd  seen  hangin'  up 
in  de  store  po'ch,  an'  he  pretty  nigh  kivered  himse'f 
all  up  wid  it.  Den  he  go  down  to  de  pos'  offis, 


n6  Dusky  Philosophy. 

whar  de  mail  had  jes'  come  in.  When  dis  triflin' 
ole  mule  seed  de  cullud  man,  Harris,  sittin'  on  de 
bottom  step  ob  de  po'ch,  he  begin  to  kick  up  his 
heels  an'  make  all  de  noise  he  could  wid  he  mouf. 
*  Wot's  dat  ? '  cried  de  cullud  man,  Harris.  '  I's  a 
big  grizzly  bar,'  said  de  mule,  ''scaped  from  de 
'nagerie  when  'twas  fordin'  Scott's  Creek.'  '  When 
did  you  git  out  ? '  said  de  cullud  man,  Harris.  '  I 
bus'  from  de  cage  at  half  pas'  free  o'clock  dis  eben- 
in'.  '  An'  is  you  reely  a  grizzly  bar  ? '  '  Dat's  de 
truf,'  said  de  triflin'  mule,  '  an'  I's  pow'ful  hungry, 
an'  if  you  don'  go  git  me  a  feed  o"  corn  I'll  swaller 
you  down  whole.'  An'  he  begun  to  roar  as  like  a 
grizzly  bar  as  he  knew  how.  '  Dat  all  de  truf,  you 
tellin'  me  ? '  de  cullud  man,  Harris,  ask.  '  Dat's 
all  true  as  I's  libin','  says  de  triflin'  mule.  '  All 
right,  den,'  says  de  cullud  man,  Harris,  '  if  you 
kin  come  from  de  ford  on  Scott's  Creek  in  a  hour 
an'  a  half,  you  kin  carry  de  mail  jes'  as  well  as  any 
udder  mule,  an'  I's  gwine  ter  buy  a  big  cart  whip, 
an'  make  you  do  it.  So  take  off  dat  bar  skin,  an' 
come  'long  wid  me.'  So  you  see  Brudder  Gran'- 
son,"  continued  'Bijah,  "  dar's  dif'rent  kinds  ob 
truf,  an'  you's  got  ter  be  mighty  'ticklar  wot  kind 
you  sticks  ter." 

"  Git  up,"  said  Grandison  to  his  drowsy  horse, 
as  he  started  him  on  another  furrow. 


PLAIN   FISHING. 


PLAIN   FISHING. 

"  WELL,  sir,"  said  old  Peter,  as  he  came  out  on 
the  porch  with  his  pipe,  "  so  you  came  here  to  go 
fishin'  ?  " 

Peter  Gruse  was  the  owner  of  the  farm-house 
where  I  had  arrived  that  day,  just  before  supper- 
time.  He  was  a  short,  strong-built  old  man,  with 
a  pair  of  pretty  daughters,  and  little  gold  rings  in 
his  ears.  Two  things  distinguished  him  from  the 
farmers  in  the  country  round  about :  one  was  the 
rings  in  his  ears,  and  the  other  was  the  large  and 
comfortable  house  in  which  he  kept  his  pretty 
daughters.  The  other  farmers  in  that  region  had 
fine  large  barns  for  their  cattle  and  horses,  but 
very  poor  houses  for  their  daughters.  Old  Peter's 
ear-rings  were  indirectly  connected  with  his  house. 
He  had  not  always  lived  among  those  mountains. 
He  had  been  on  the  sea,  where  his  ears  were  deco 
rated,  and  he  had  travelled  a  good  deal  on  land, 
where  he  had  ornamented  his  mind  with  many 
ideas  which  were  not  in  general  use  in  the  part  of 
his  State  in  which  he  was  born.  His  house  stood 


I2O  Plain  Fishing. 

a  little  back  from  the  high  road,  and  if  a  traveller 
wished  to  be  entertained,  Peter  was  generally  will 
ing  to  take  him  in,  provided  he  had  left  his  wife 
and  family  at  home.  The  old  man  himself  had  no 
objection  to  wives  and  children,  but  his  two  pretty 
daughters  had. 

These  young  women  had  waited  on  their  father 
and  myself  at  supper-time,  one  continually  bring 
ing  hot  griddle  cakes,  and  the  other  giving  me 
every  opportunity  to  test  the  relative  merits  of  the 
seven  different  kinds  of  preserved  fruit  which,  in 
little  glass  plates,  covered  the  otherwise  unoccu 
pied  spaces  on  the  tablecloth.  The  latter,  when 
she  found  that  there  was  no  further  possible  way 
of  serving  us,  presumed  to  sit  down  at  the  corner 
of  the  table  and  begin  her  supper.  But  in  spite 
of  this  apparent  humility,  which  was  only  a  cus 
tom  of  the  country,  there  was  that  in  the  general 
air  of  the  pretty  daughters  which  left  no  doubt  in 
the  mind  of  the  intelligent  observer  that  they  stood 
at  the  wheel  in  that  house.  There  was  a  son  of 
fourteen,  who  sat  at  table  with  us,  but  he  did  not 
appear  to  count  as  a  member  of  the  family. 

"  Yes,"  I  answered,  "  I  understood  that  there 
was  good  fishing  hereabout,  and,  at  any  rate,  I 
should  like  to  spend  a  few  days  among  these  hills 
and  mountains." 


Plain  Fishing.  121 

"Well,"  said  Peter,  "there's  trout  in  some  of 
our  streams,  though  not  as  many  as  there  used  to 
be,  and  there's  hills  a  plenty,  and  mountains  too, 
if  you  choose  to  walk  fur  enough.  They're  a  good 
deal  furder  off  than  they  look.  What  did  you 
bring  with  you  to  fish  with  ?" 

"  Nothing  at  all,"  I  answered.  "  I  was  told  in 
the  town  that  you  were  a  great  fisherman,  and 
that  you  could  let  me  have  all  the  tackle  I  would 
need." 

"  Upon  my  word,"  said  old  Peter,  resting  his 
pipe-hand  on  his  knee  and  looking  steadfastly  at 
me,  "  you're  the  queerest  fisherman  I've  see'd  yet. 
Nigh  every  year,  some  two  or  three  of  'em  stop 
here  in  the  fishin'  season,  and  there  was  never  a 
man  who  didn't  bring  his  jintedpole,  and  his  reels, 
and  his  lines,  and  his  hooks,  and  his  dry-goods  flies, 
and  his  whiskey-flask  with  a  long  strap  to  it.  Now, 
if  you  want  all  these  things,  I  haven't  got  'em." 

"  Whatever  you  use  yourself  will  suit  me,"  I 
answered. 

"  All  right,  then,"  said  he.  "  I'll  do  the  best  I 
can  for  you  in  the  mornin'.  But  it's  plain  enough 
to  me  that  you're  not  a  game  fisherman,  or  you 
wouldn't  come  here  without  your  tools." 

To  this  remark  I  made  answer  to  the  effect 
that,  though  I  was  very  fond  of  fishing,  my  pleas- 


122  Plain  Fishing. 

ure  in  it  did  not  depend  upon  the  possession  of  all 
the  appliances  of  professional  sport. 

"  Perhaps  you  think,"  said  the  old  man,  "  from 
the  way  I  spoke,  that  I  don't  believe  them  fellers 
with  the  jinted  poles  can  ketch  fish,  but  that  ain't 
so.  That  old  story  about  the  little  boy  with  the 
pin-hook  who  ketched  all  the  fish,  while  the  gen 
tleman  with  the  modern  improvements,  who  stood 
alongside  of  him,  kep'  throwin'  out  his  beautiful 
flies  and  never  got  nothin',  is  a  pure  lie.  The 
fancy  chaps,  who  must  have  ev'rythin'  jist  so, 
gen'rally  gits  fish.  But  for  all  that,  I  don't  like 
their  way  of  fishin',  and  I  take  no  stock  in  it  my 
self.  I've  been  fishin',  on  and  off,  ever  since  I  was 
a  little  boy,  and  I've  caught  nigh  every  kind  there 
is,  from  the  big  jew-fish  and  cavalyoes  down  South, 
to  the  trout  and  minnies  round  about  here.  But 
when  I  ketch  a  fish,  the  first  thing  I  do  is  to  try  to 
git  him  on  the  hook,  and  the  next  thing  is  to  git 
him  out  of  the  water  jist  as  soon  as  I  kin.  I  don't 
put  in  no  time  worryin'  him.  There's  only  two 
animals  in  the  world  that  likes  to  worry  smaller 
creeturs  a  good  while  afore  they  kill  'em ;  one  is 
the  cat,  and  the  other  is  what  they  call  the  game 
fisherman.  This  kind  of  a  feller  never  goes  after 
no  fish  that  don't  mind  being  ketched.  He  goes 
fur  them  kinds  that  loves  their  home  in  the  water 


Plain  Fishing.  123 

and  hates  most  to  leave  it,  and  he  makes  it  jist  as 
hard  fur  'em  as  he  kin.  What  the  game  fisher  likes 
is  the  smallest  kind  of  a  hook,  the  thinnest  line, 
and  a  fish  that  it  takes  a  good  while  to  weaken. 
The  longer  the  weak'nin'  business  kin  be  spun  out, 
the  more  the  sport.  The  idee  is  to  let  the  fish 
think  there's  a  chance  fur  him  to  git  away.  That's 
jist  like  the  cat  with  her  mouse.  She  lets  the  lit 
tle  creetur  hop  off,  but  the  minnit  he  gits  fur 
enough  away,  she  jumps  on  him  and  jabs  him  with 
her  claws,  and  then,  if  there's  any  game  left  in  him, 
she  lets  him  try  again.  Of  course  the  game  fisher 
could  have  a  strong  line  and  a  .stout  pole  and  git 
his  fish  in  a  good  sight  quicker,  if  he  wanted  to, 
but  that  wouldn't  be  sport.  He  couldn't  give  him 
the  butt  and  spin  him  out,  and  reel  him  in,  and  let 
him  jump  and  run  till  his  pluck  is  clean  worn  out. 
Now,  I  likes  to  git  my  fish  ashore  with  all  the 
pluck  in  'em.  It  makes  'em  taste  better.  And  as 
fur  fun,  I'll  be  bound  I've  had  jist  as  much  of  that, 
and  more,  too,  than  most  of  these  fellers  who  are 
so  dreadful  anxious  to  have  everythin'  jist  right, 
and  think  they  can't  go  fishin'  till  they've  spent 
enough  money  to  buy  a  suit  of  Sunday  clothes. 
As  a  gen'ral  rule  they're  a  solemn  lot,  and  work 
pretty  hard  at  their  fun.  When  I  work  I  want  to 
be  paid  fur  it,  and  when  I  go  in  fur  fun  I  want  to 


124  Plain  Fishing, 

take  it  easy  and  cheerful.  Now  I  wouldn't  say  so 
much  agen  these  fellers,"  said  old  Peter,  as  he  arose 
and  put  his  empty  pipe  on  a  little  shelf  under  the 
porch-roof,  "  if  it  wasn't  for  one  thing,  and  that  is, 
that  they  think  that  their  kind  of  fishin'  is  the  only 
kind  worth  considerin'.  The  way  they  look  down 
upon  plain  Christian  fishin'  is  enough  to  rile  a 
hitchin'-post.  I  don't  want  to  say  nothin'  agen  no 
man's  way  of  attendin'  to  his  own  affairs,  whether 
it's  kitchen-gardenin',  or  whether  it's  fishin,'  if  he 
says  nothin'  agen  my  way ;  but  when  he  looks 
down  on  me,  and  grins  at  me,  I  want  to  haul  my 
self  up,  and  grin  at  him,  if  I  kin.  And  in  this  case, 
I  kin.  I  s'pose  the  house-cat  and  the  cat-fisher  (by 
which  I  don't  mean  the  man  who  fishes  for  cat-fish) 
was  both  made  as  they  is,  and  they  can't  help  it ; 
but  that  don't  give  'em  no  right  to  put  on  airs  be 
fore  other  bein's,  who  gits  their  meat  with  a  square 
kill.  Good-night.  And  sence  I've  talked  so  much 
about  it,  I've  a  mind  to  go  fishin'  with  you  to-mor 
row  myself." 

The  next  morning  found  old  Peter  of  the  same 
mind,  and  after  breakfast  he  proceeded  to  fit  me 
out  for  a  day  of  what  he  called  "  plain  Christian 
trout-fishin'."  He  gave  me  a  reed  rod,  about  nine 
feet  long,  light,  strong,  and  nicely  balanced.  The 
tackle  he  produced  was  not  of  the  fancy  order,  but 


Plain  Fishing.  125 

his  lines  were  of  fine  strong  linen,  and  his  hooks 
were  of  good  shape,  clean  and  sharp,  and  snooded 
to  the  lines  with  a  neatness  that  indicated  the  hand 
of  a  man  who  had  been  where  he  learned  to  wear 
little  gold  rings  in  his  ears. 

"  Here  are  some  of  these  feather  insects,"  he 
said,  "  which  you  kin  take  along  if  you  like." 
And  he  handed  me  a  paper  containing  a  few  arti 
ficial  flies.  "  They're  pretty  nat'ral,"  he  said,  "and 
the  hooks  is  good.  A  man  who  came  here  fishin' 
gave  'em  to  me,  but  I  shan't  want  'em  to-day.  At 
this  time  of  year  grasshoppers  is  the  best  bait  in 
the  kind  of  place  where  we're  goin'  to  fish.  The 
stream,  after  it  comes  down  from  the  mountain, 
runs  through  half  a  mile  of  medder  land  before  it 
strikes  into  the  woods  agen.  A  grasshopper  is  a 
little  creetur  that's  got  as  much  conceit  as  if  his 
jinted  legs  was  fish-poles,  and  he  thinks  he  kin 
jump  over  this  narrer  run  of  water  whenever  he 
pleases ;  but  he  don't  always  do  it,  and  then  if  he 
doesn't  git  snapped  up  by  the  trout  that  lie  along 
the  banks  in  the  medder,  he  is  floated  along  into 
the  woods,  where  there's  always  fish  enough  to 
come  to  the  second  table." 

Having  got  me  ready,  Peter  took  his  own  par 
ticular  pole,  which  he  assured  me  he  had  used  for 
eleven  years,  and  hooking  on  his  left  arm  a  good- 


126  Plain  Fishing. 

sized  basket,  which  his  elder  pretty  daughter  had 
packed  with  cold  meat,  bread,  butter,  and  pre* 
serves,  we  started  forth  for  a  three-mile  walk  to 
the  fishing-ground.  The  day  was  a  favorable  one 
for  our  purpose,  the  sky  being  sometimes  over 
clouded,  which  was  good  for  fishing,  and  also  for 
walking  on  a  highroad ;  and  sometimes  bright, 
which  was  good  for  effects  of  mountain-scenery. 
Not  far  from  the  spot  where  old  Peter  proposed  to 
begin  our  sport,  a  small  frame-house  stood  by  the 
roadside,  and  here  the  old  man  halted  and  entered 
the  open  door  without  knocking  or  giving  so  much 
as  a  premonitory  stamp.  I  followed,  imitating 
my  companion  in  leaving  my  pole  outside,  which 
appeared  to  be  the  only  ceremony  that  the  eti 
quette  of  those  parts  required  of  visitors.  In  the 
room  we  entered,  a  small  man  in  his  shirt-sleeves 
sat  mending  a  basket-handle.  He  nodded  to  Pe 
ter,  and  Peter  nodded  to  him. 

"  We've  come  up  a-fishin',''  said  the  old  man. 
"  Kin  your  boys  give  us  some  grasshoppers  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  that  they've  got  any  ready  ketch- 
ed,"  said  he,  "  for  I  reckon  I  used  what  they  had 
this  mornin'.  But  they  kin  git  you  some.  Here, 
Dan,  you  and  Sile  go  and  ketch  Mr.  Gruse  and 
this  young  man  some  grasshoppers.  Take  that 
mustard-box,  and  see  that  you  git  it  full." 


Plain  Fishing.  127 

Peter  and  I  now  took  seats,  and  the  conversa 
tion  began  about  a  black  cow  which  Peter  had  to 
sell,  and  which  the  other  was  willing  to  buy  if  the 
old  man  would  trade  for  sheep,  which  animals, 
however,  the  basket-mender  did  not  appear  just  at 
that  time  to  have  in  his  possession.  As  I  was 
not  very  much  interested  in  this  subject,  I  walked 
to  the  back-door  and  watched  two  small  boys  in 
scanty  shirts  and  trousers,  and  ragged  straw  hats, 
who  were  darting  about  in  the  grass  catching  grass 
hoppers,  of  which  insects,  judging  by  the  frequent 
pounces  of  the  boys,  there  seemed  a  plentiful  sup 
ply. 

"  Got  it  full  ?  "  said  their  father,  when  the  boys 
came  in. 

"  Crammed,"  said  Dan. 

Old  Peter  took  the  little  can,  pressed  the  top 
firmly  on,  put  it  in  his  coat-tail  pocket,  and  rose  to 
go.  "  You'd  better  think  about  that  cow,  Barney," 
said  he.  He  said  nothing  to  the  boys  about  the 
box  of  bait ;  but  I  could  not  let  them  catch  grass 
hoppers  for  us  for  nothing,  and  I  took  a  dime  from 
my  pocket,  and  gave  it  to  Dan.  Dan  grinned, 
and  Sile  looked  sheepishly  happy,  and  at  the  sight 
of  the  piece  of  silver  an  expression  of  interest 
came  over  the  face  of  the  father.  "  Wait  a  min 
ute,"  said  he,  and  he  went  into  a  little  room  that 


128  Plain  Fishing. 

seemed  to  be  a  kitchen.  Returning,  he  brought 
with  him  a  small  string  of  trout.  "  Do  you  want 
to  buy  some  fish  ?  "  he  said.  "  These  is  nice  fresh 
ones.  I  ketched  'em  this  mornin'." 

To  offer  to  sell  fish  to  a  man  who  is  just  about 
to  go  out  to  catch  them  for  himself  might,  in  most 
cases,  be  considered  an  insult,  but  it  was  quite  evi 
dent  that  nothing  of  the  kind  was  intended  by 
Barney.  He  probably  thought  that  if  I  bought 
grasshoppers,  I  might  buy  fish.  "  You  kin  have 
'em  for  a  quarter,"  he  said. 

It  was  derogatory  to  my  pride  to  buy  fish  at 
such  a  moment,  but  the  man  looked  very-poor,  and 
there  was  a  shade  of  anxiety  on  his  face  which 
touched  me.  Old  Peter  stood  by  without  saying 
a  word.  "  It  might  be  well,"  I  said,  turning  to 
him,  "  to  buy  these  fish,  for  we  may  not  catch 
enough  for  supper." 

"  Such  things  do  happen,"  said  the  old  man. 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "  if  we  have  these  we  shall  feel 
safe  in  any  case."  And  I  took  the  fish  and  gave 
the  man  a  quarter.  It  was  not,  perhaps,  a  pro 
fessional  act,  but  the  trout  were  well  worth  the 
money,  and  I  felt  that  I  was  doing  a  deed  of 
charity. 

Old  Peter  and  I  now  took  our  rods,  and  crossed 
the  road  into  an  enclosed  field,  and  thence  into  a 


Plain  Fishing.  129 

wide  stretch  of  grass  land,  bounded  by  hills  in 
front  of  us  and  to  the  right,  while  a  thick  forest 
lay  to  the  left.  We  had  walked  but  a  short  dis 
tance,  when  Peter  said  :  "  I'll  go  down  into  the 
woods,  and  try  my  luck  there,  and  you'd  better 
go  along  up  stream,  about  a  quarter  of  a  mile,  to 
where  it's  rocky.  P'raps  you  ain't  used  to  fishin' 
in  the  woods,  and  you  might  git  your  line  cotched. 
You'll  find  the  trout'll  bite  in  the  rough  water." 

"  Where  is  the  stream  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  This  is  it,"  he  said,  pointing  to  a  little  brook, 
which  was  scarcely  too  wide  for  me  to  step  across, 
"  and  there's  fish  right  here,  but  they're  hard  to 
ketch,  fur  they  git  plenty  of  good  livin'  and  are 
mighty  sassy  about  their  eatin'.  But  you  kin 
ketch  'em  up  there." 

Old  Peter  now  went  down  toward  the  woods, 
while  I  walked  up  the  little  stream.  I  had  seen 
trout-brooks  before,  but  never  one  so  diminutive 
as  this.  However,  when  I  came  nearer  to  the 
point  where  the  stream  issued  from  between  two 
of  the  foot-hills  of  the  mountains,  which  lifted 
their  forest-covered  heights  in  the  distance,  I 
found  it  wider  and  shallower,  breaking  over  its 
rocky  bottom  in  sparkling  little  cascades. 

Fishing  in  such  a  jolly  little  stream,  surrounded 
by  this  mountain  scenery,  and  with  the  privileges 
o 


130  Plain  Fishing. 

of  the  beautiful  situation  all  to  myself,  would  have 
been  a  joy  to  me  if  I  had  had  never  a  bite.  But 
no  such  ill-luck  befell  me.  Peter  had  given  me 
the  can  of  grasshoppers  after  putting  half  of  them 
into  his  own  bait-box,  and  these  I  used  with  much 
success.  It  was  grasshopper  season,  and  the  trout 
were  evidently  on  the  lookout  for  them.  I  fished 
in  the  ripples  under  the  little  waterfalls;  and 
every  now  and  then  I  drew  out  a  lively  trout. 
Most  of  these  were  of  moderate  size,  and  some  of 
them  might  have  been  called  small.  The  large 
ones  probably  fancied  the  forest  shades,  where  old 
Peter  went.  But  all  I  caught  were  fit  for  the  ta 
ble,  and  I  was  very  well  satisfied  with  the  result 
of  my  sport. 

About  noon  I  began  to  feel  hungry,  and  thought 
it  time  to  look  up  the  old  man,  who  had  the  lunch- 
basket.  I  walked  down  the  bank  of  the  brook, 
and  some  time  before  I  reached  the  woods  I  came 
to  a  place  where  it  expanded  to  a  width  of  about 
ten  feet.  The  water  here  was  very  clear,  and  the 
motion  quiet,  so  that  I  could  easily  see  to  the 
bottom,  which  did  not  appear  to  be  more  than  a 
foot  below  the  surface.  Gazing  into  this  trans 
parent  water,  as  I  walked,  I  saw  a  large  trout  glide 
across  the  stream,  and  disappear  under  the  grassy 
bank  which  overhung  the  opposite  side.  I  in* 


Plain  Fishing.  131 

stantly  stopped.  This  was  a  much  larger  fish  than 
any  I  had  caught,  and  I  determined  to  try  for 
him. 

I  stepped  back  from  the  bank,  so  as  to  be  out  of 
sight,  and  put  a  fine  grasshopper  on  my  hook ; 
then  I  lay,  face  downward,  on  the  grass,  and 
worked  myself  slowly  forward  until  I  could  see  the 
middle  of  the  stream ;  then  quietly  raising  my  pole, 
I  gave  my  grasshopper  a  good  swing,  as  if  he  had 
made  a  wager  to  jump  over  the  stream  at  its  wid 
est  part.  But  as  he  certainly  would  have  failed 
in  such  an  ambitious  endeavor,  especially  if  he  had 
been  caught  by  a  puff  of  wind,  I  let  him  come 
down  upon  the  surface  of  the  water,  a  little  beyond 
the  middle  of  the  brook.  Grasshoppers  do  not 
sink  when  they  fall  into  the  water,  and  so  I  kept 
this  fellow  upon  the  surface,  and  gently  moved 
him  along,  as  if,  with  all  the  conceit  taken  out  of 
him  by  the  result  of  his  ill-considered  leap,  he  was 
ignominiously  endeavoring  to  swim  to  shore.  As 
I  did  this,  I  saw  the  trout  come  out  from  under  the 
bank,  move  slowly  toward  the  grasshopper,  and 
stop  directly  under  him.  Trembling  with  anxiety 
and  eager  expectation,  I  endeavored  to  make  the 
movements  of  the  insect  still  more  natural,  and, 
as  far  as  I  was  able,  I  threw  into  him  a  sudden 
perception  of  his  danger,  and  a  frenzied  desire  to 


132  Plain  FisJiing. 

get  away.  But,  either  the  trout  had  had  all  the 
grasshoppers  he  wanted,  or  he  was  able,  from  long 
experience,  to  perceive  the  difference  between  a 
natural  exhibition  of  emotion  and  a  histrionic  imi 
tation  of  it,  for  he  slowly  turned,  and,  with  a  few 
slight  movements  of  his  tail,  glided  back  under 
the  bank.  In  vain  did  the  grasshopper  continue 
his  frantic  efforts  to  reach  the  shore ;  in  vain  did 
he  occasionally  become  exhausted,  and  sink  a  short 
distance  below  the  surface  ;  in  vain  did  he  do 
everything  that  he  knew,  to  show  that  he  appreci 
ated  what  a  juicy  and  delicious  morsel  he  was, 
and  how  he  feared  that  the  trout  might  yet  be 
tempted  to  seize  him ;  the  fish  did  not  come  out 
again. 

Then  I  withdrew  my  line,  and  moved  back  from 
the  stream.  I  now  determined  to  try  Mr.  Trout 
with  a  fly,  and  I  took  out  the  paper  old  Peter 
Gruse  had  given  me.  I  did  not  know  exactly 
what  kind  of  winged  insects  were  in  order  at  this 
time  of  the  year,  but  I  was  sure  that  yellow  butter 
flies  were  not  particular  about  just  what  month  it 
was,  so  long  as  the  sun  shone  warmly.  I  there 
fore  chose  that  one  of  Peter's  flies  which  was  made 
of  the  yellowest  feathers,  and,  removing  the  snood 
and  hook  from  my  line,  I  hastily  attached  this  fly, 
which  was  provided  with  a  hook  quite  suitable 


Plain  Fishing.  133 

for  my  desired  prize.  Crouching  on  the  grass,  I 
again  approached  the  brook.  Gaily  flitting  above 
the  glassy  surface  of  the  water,  in  all  the  fancied 
security  of  tender  youth  and  innocence,  came  my 
yellow  fly.  Backward  and  forward  over  the 
water  he  gracefully  flew,  sometimes  rising  a  little 
into  the  air,  as  if  to  view  the  varied  scenery  of  the 
woods  and  mountains,  and  then  settling  for  a 
moment  close  to  the  surface,  to  better  inspect  his 
glittering  image  as  it  came  up  from  below,  and 
showing  in  his  every  movement  his  intense  enjoy 
ment  of  summer-time  and  life. 

Out  from  his  dark  retreat  now  came  the  trout, 
and  settling  quietly  at  the  bottom  of  the  brook, 
he  appeared  to  regard  the  venturesome  insect  with 
a  certain  interest.  But  he  must  have  detected  the 
iron-barb  of  vice  beneath  the  mask  of  blitheful  inno 
cence,  for,  after  a  short  deliberation,  the  trout 
turned  and  disappeared  under  the  bank.  As  he 
slowly  moved  away,  he  seemed  to  be  bigger  than 
ever.  I  must  catch  that  fish !  Surely  he  would 
bite  at  something.  It  was  quite  evident  that  his 
mind  was  not  wholly  unsusceptible  to  emotions 
emanating  from  an  awakening  appetite,  and  I  be 
lieved  that  if  he  saw  exactly  what  he  wanted,  he 
would  not  neglect  an  opportunity  of  availing  him 
self  of  it.  But  what  did  he  want  ?  I  must  certain- 


134  Plain  Fishing. 

ly  find  out.  Drawing  myself  back  again,  I  took 
off  the  yellow  fly,  and  put  on  another.  This  was 
a  white  one,  with  black  blotches,  like  a  big  miller 
moth  which  had  fallen  into  an  ink-pot.  It  was 
surely  a  conspicuous  creature,  and  as  I  crept  for 
ward  and  sent  it  swooping  over  the  stream,  I  could 
not  see  how  any  trout,  with  a  single  insectivorous 
tooth  in  his  head,  could  fail  to  rise  to  such  an  oc 
casion.  But  this  trout  did  not  rise.  He  would 
not  even  come  out  from  under  his  bank  to  look  at 
the  swiftly  flitting  creature.  He  probably  could 
see  it  well  enough  from  where  he  was. 

But  I  was  not  to  be  discouraged.  I  put  on  an 
other  fly;  a  green  one  with  a  red  tail.  It  did  not 
look  like  any  insect  that  I  had  ever  seen,  but  I 
thought  that  the  trout  might  know  more  about 
such  things  than  I.  He  did  come  out  to  look  at 
it,  but  probably  considering  it  a  product  of  that 
modern  asstheticism  which  sacrifices  natural  beauty 
to  mediaeval  crudeness  of  color  and  form,  he  re 
tired  without  evincing  any  disposition  to  counten 
ance  this  style  of  art. 

It  was  evident  that  it  would  be  useless  to  put  on 
any  other  flies,  for  the  two  I  had  left  were  a  good 
deal  bedraggled,  and  not  nearly  so  attractive  as 
those  I  had  used.  Just  before  leaving  the  house 
that  morning,  Peter's  son  had  given  me  a  wooden 


Plain  Fishing.  135 

match-box  filled  with  worms  for  bait,  which,  al 
though  I  did  not  expect  to  need,  I  put  in  my 
pocket.  As  a  last  resort  I  determined  to  try  the 
trout  with  a  worm.  I  selected  the  plumpest  and 
most  comely  of  the  lot;  I  put  a  new  hook  on  my 
line ;  I  looped  him  about  it  in  graceful  coils,  and 
cautiously  approached  the  water,  as  before.  Now 
a  worm  never  attempts  to  wildly  leap  across  a  flow 
ing  brook,  nor  does  he  flit  in  thoughtless  innocence 
through  the  sunny  air,  and  over  the  bright  trans 
parent  stream.  If  he  happens  to  fall  into  the 
water,  he  sinks  to  the  bottom ;  and  if  he  be  of  a 
kind  not  subject  to  drowning,  he  generally  endeav 
ors  to  secrete  himself  under  a  stone,  or  to  burrow 
in  the  soft  mud.  With  this  knowledge  of  his 
nature  I  gently  dropped  my  worm  upon  the  sur 
face  of  the  stream,  and  then  allowed  him  slowly 
to  sink.  Out  sailed  the  trout  from  under  the 
bank,  but  stopped  before  reaching  the  sinking 
worm.  There  was  a  certain  something  in  his 
action  which  seemed  to  indicate  a  disgust  at  the 
sight  of  such  plebeian  food,  and  a  fear  seized  me 
that  he  might  now  swim  off,  and  pay  no  further 
attention  to  my  varied  baits.  Suddenly  there  was 
a  ripple  in  the  water,  and  I  felt  a  pull  on  the  line. 
Instantly  I  struck;  and  then  there  was  a  tug.  My 
blood  boiled  through  every  vein  and  artery,  and 


136  Plain  Fishing. 

I  sprang  to  my  feet.  I  did  not  give  him  the  butt ; 
I  did  not  let  him  run  with  yards  of  line  down  the 
brook ;  nor  reel  him  in,  and  let  him  make  another 
mad  course  up  stream  ;  I  did  not  turn  him  over 
as  he  jumped  into  the  air;  nor  endeavor,  in  any 
way,  to  show  him  that  I  understood  those  tricks, 
which  his  depraved  nature  prompted  him  to  play 
upon  the  angler.  With  an  absolute  dependence 
upon  the  strength  of  old  Peter's  tackle,  I  lifted  the 
fish.  Out  he  came  from  the  water,  which  held 
him  with  a  gentle  suction  as  if  unwilling  to  let 
him  go,  and  then  he  whirled  through  the  air  like 
a  meteor  flecked  with  rosy  fire,  and  landed  on  the 
fresh  green  grass  a  dozen  feet  behind  me.  Down 
on  my  knees  I  dropped  before  him  as  he  tossed 
and  rolled,  his  beautiful  spots  and  colors  glistening 
in  the  sun.  He  was  truly  a  splendid  trout,  fully 
a  foot  long,  round  and  heavy.  Carefully  seizing 
him,  I  easily  removed  the  hook  from  the  bony  roof 
of  his  capacious  mouth  thickly  set  with  sparkling 
teeth,  and  then  I  tenderly  killed  him,  with  all  his 
pluck,  as  old  Peter  would  have  said,  still  in  him. 

I  covered  the  rest  of  the  fish  in  my  basket  with 
wet  plantain  leaves,  and  laid  my  trout  king  on  this 
cool  green  bed.  Then  I  hurried  off  to  the  old  man, 
whom  I  saw  coming  out  of  the  woods.  When  I 
opened  my  basket  and  showed  him  what  I  had 


Plain  Fishing.  137 

caught,  Peter  looked  surprised,  and,  taking  up  the 
trout,  examined  it. 

"  Why,  this  is  a  big  fellow,"  he  said.  "  At  first 
I  thought  it  was  Barney  Sloat's  boss  trout,  but  it 
isn't  long  enough  for  him.  Barney  showed  me 
his  trout,  that  gen'rally  keeps  in  a  deep  pool, 
where  a  tree  has  fallen  over  the  stream  down  there. 
Barney  tells  me  he  often  sees  him,  and  he's  been 
tryin'  fur  two  years  to  ketch  him,  but  he  never 
has,  and  I  say  he  never  will,  fur  them  big  trout's 
got  too  much  sense  to  fool  round  any  kind  of  vic 
tuals  that's  got  a  string  to  it.  They  let  a  little 
fish  eat  all  he  wants,  and  then  they  eat  him.  How 
did  you  ketch  this  one  ?  " 

I  gave  an  account  of  the  manner  of  the  capture, 
to  which  Peter  listened  with  interest  and  approval. 

"  If  you'd  a  stood  off  and  made  a  cast  at  that 
feller,  you'd  either  have  caught  him  at  the  first 
flip,  which  isn't  likely,  as  he  didn't  seem  to  want 
no  feather  flies,  or  else  you'd  a  skeered  him  away. 
That's  all  well  enough  in  the  tumblin'  water, 
where  you  gen'rally  go  fur  trout,  but  the  man  that's 
got  the  true  feelin'  fur  fish  will  try  to  suit  his  idees 
to  theirs,  and  if  he  keeps  on  doin'  that,  he's  like 
to  learn  a  thing  or  two  that  may  do  him  good. 
That's  a  fine  fish,  and  you  ketched  him  well.  I've 
got  a  lot  of  'em,  but  nothin'  of  that  heft. 


138  Plain  Fishing. 

After  luncheon  we  fished  for  an  hour  or  two  with 
no  result  worth  recording,  and  then  we  started  for 
home.  A  couple  of  partridges  ran  across  the  road 
some  distance  ahead  of  us,  and  these  gave  Peter 
an  idea. 

"  Do  you  know,"  said  he,  "  if  things  go  on  as 
they're  goin'  on  now,  that  there'll  come  a  time 
when  it  won't  be  considered  high-toned  sport  to 
shoot  a  bird  slam-bang  dead.  The  game  gunners 
will  pop  'em  with  little  harpoons,  with  long 
threads  tied  to  'em,  and  the  feller  that  can  tire 
out  his  bird,  and  haul  him  in  with  the  longest  and 
thinnest  piece  of  spool  thread,  will  be  the  crackest 
sportsman." 

At  this  point  I  remarked  to  my  companion  that 
perhaps  he  was  a  little  hard  on  the  game  fishermen. 

"  Well,"  said  old  Peter,  with  a  smile  on  his  cor 
rugated  visage,  "  I  reckon  I'd  have  to  do  a  lot  of 
talkin'  before  I'd  git  even  with  'em,  fur  the  way 
they  give  me  the  butt  for  my  style  of  fishin'. 
What  I  say  behind  their  backs  I  say  to  their  faces. 
I  seed  one  of  these  fellers  once  with  a  fish  on 
his  hook,  that  he  was  runnin'  up  an'  dowrn  the 
stream  like  a  chased  chicken.  'Why  don't  you 
pull  him  in?'  says  I.  'And  break  my  rod  an' 
line  ?  '  says  he.  '  Why  don't  you  have  a  stronger 
line  and  pole  ? '  says  I.  '  There  wouldn't  be  no 


Plain  Fishing.  139 

science  in  that,'  says  he.  '  If  it's  your  science  you 
want  to  show  off,'  says  I,  '  you  ought  to  fish  for 
mud  eels.  There's  more  game  in  'em  than  there 
is  in  any  other  fish  round  here,  and  as  they're 
mighty  lively  out  of  water  you  might  play  one  of 
'em  fur  half  an  hour  after  you  got  him  on  shore, 
and  it  would  take  all  your  science  to  keep  him 
from  reelin'  up  his  end  of  the  line  faster  than  you 
could  yourn.' " 

When  we  reached  the  farm  the  old  man  went 
into  the  barn,  and  I  took  the  fish  into  the  house. 
I  found  the  two  pretty  daughters  in  the  large 
room,  where  the  eating  and  some  of  the  cooking 
was  done.  I  opened  my  basket,  and  with  great 
pride  showed  them  the  big  trout  I  had  caught. 
They  evidently  thought  it  was  a  large  fish,  but  they 
looked  at  each  other,  and  smiled  in  a  way  that  I 
did  not  understand.  I  had  expected  from  them, 
at  least,  as  much  admiration  for  my  prize  and  my 
skill  as  their  father  had  shown." 

"  You  don't  seem  to  think  much  of  this  fine  trout 
that  I  took  such  trouble  to  catch,"  I  remarked. 

"  You  mean,"  said  the  elder  girl,  with  a  laugh, 
"  that  you  bought  of  Barney  Sloat." 

I  looked  at  her  in  astonishment. 

"  Barney  was  along  here  to-day,"  she  said,  "and 
he  told  about  your  buying  your  fish  of  him." 


140  Plain  Fishing. 

"  Bought  of  him  !  "  I  exclaimed,  indignantly. 
"  A  little  string  of  fish  at  the  bottom  of  the  bas 
ket  I  bought  of  him,  but  all  the  others,  and  this 
big  one,  I  caught  myself.'' 

"  Oh,  of  course,"  said  the  pretty  daughter, 
"  bought  the  little  ones  and  caught  all  the  big 
ones!" 

"  Barney  Sloat  ought  to  have  kept  his  mouth 
shut,"  said  the  younger  pretty  daughter,  looking 
at  me  with  an  expression  of  pity.  "  He'd  got  his 
money,  and  he  hadn't  no  business  to  go  telling  on 
people.  Nobody  likes  that  sort  of  thing.  But 
this  big  fish  is  a  real  nice  one,  and  you  shall  have 
it  for  your  supper." 

"  Thank  you,"  I  said,  with  dignity,  and  left  the 
room. 

I  did  not  intend  to  have  any  further  words  with 
these  young  women  on  this  subject,  but  I  cannot 
deny  that  I  was  annoyed  and  mortified.  This 
was  the  result  of  a  charitable  action.  I  think  I 
was  never  more  proud  of  anything  than  of  catching 
that  trout ;  and  it  was  a  good  deal  of  a  downfall 
to  suddenly  find  myself  regarded  as  a  mere  city 
man  fishing  with  a  silver  hook.  But,  after  all, 
what  did  it  matter  ? 

The  boy  who  did  not  seem  to  be  accounted  a 
member  of  the  family  came  into  the  house,  and  as 


Plain  Fishing.  141 

he  passed  me  he  smiled  good-humoredly,  and 
said:  "Buyed  'em!" 

I  felt  like  throwing  a  chair  at  him,  but  refrained 
out  of  respect  to  my  host.  Before  supper  the  old 
man  came  out  on  to  the  porch  where  I  was  sitting. 
"  It  seems,"  said  he,  "  that  my  gals  has  got  it  in 
ter  their  heads  that  you  bought  that  big  fish  of 
Barney  Sloat,  and  as  I  can't  say  I  seed  you  ketch 
it,  they're  not  willin'  to  give  in,  'specially  as  I 
didn't  git  no  such  big  one.  'Tain't  wise  to  buy 
fish  when  you're  goin'  fishin'  yourself.  It's  pretty 
certain  to  tell  agen  you." 

"  You  ought  to  have  given  me  that  advice  be 
fore,"  I  said,  somewhat  shortly.  "You  saw  me 
buy  the  fish." 

"  You  don't  s'pose,"  said  old  Peter,  "  that  I'm 
goin'  to  say  anythin'  to  keep  money  out  of  my 
neighbor's  pockets.  We  don't  do  that  way  in 
these  parts.  But  I've  told  the  gals  they're  not  to 
speak  another  word  about  it,  so  you  needn't  give 
your  mind  no  worry  on  that  score.  And  now  let's 
go  in  to  supper.  If  you're  as  hungry  as  I  am,  there 
won't  be  many  of  them  fish  left  fur  breakfast." 

That  evening,  as  we  were  sitting  smoking  on 
the  porch,  old  Peter's  mind  reverted  to  the  sub 
ject  of  the  unfounded  charge  against  me.  "  It 
goes  pretty  hard,"  he  remarked,  "  to  have  to  stand 


142  Plain  Fishing. 

up  and  take  a  thing  you  don'  like  when  there's 
no  call  fur  it.  It's  bad  enough  when  there  is  a 
call  fur  it.  That  matter  about  your  fish  buyin'  re 
minds  me  of  what  happened  two  summers  ago  to 
my  sister,  or  ruther  to  her  two  little  boys — or,  more 
correct  yit,  to  one  of  'em.  Them  was  two  cur'ous 
little  boys.  They  was  allus  tradin'  with  each 
other.  Their  father  deals  mostly  in  horses,  and 
they  must  have  got  it  from  him.  At  the  time  I'm 
tellin'  of  they'd  traded  everythin'  they  had,  and 
when  they  hadn't  nothin'  else  left  to  swap  they 
traded  names.  Joe  he  took  Johnny's  name,  and 
Johnny  he  took  Joe's.  Jist  about  when  they'd 
done  this,  they  both  got  sick  with  sumthin'  or 
other,  the  oldest  one  pretty  bad,  the  other  not 
much.  Now  there  ain't  no  doctor  inside  of  twenty 
miles  of  where  my  sister  lives.  But  there's  one 
who  sometimes  has  a  call  to  go  through  that  part 
of  the  country,  and  the  people  about  there  is  allus 
very  glad  when  they  chance  to  be  sick  when  he 
comes  along.  Now  this  good  luck  happened  to 
my  sister,  fur  the  doctor  come  by  jist  at  this  time. 
He  looks  into  the  state  of  the  boys,  and  while 
their  mother  has  gone  downstairs  he  mixes  some 
medicine  he  has  along  with  him.  '  What's  your 
name  ? '  he  says  to  the  oldest  boy  when  he'd  done 
it.  Now  as  he'd  traded  names  with  his  brother, 


Plain  Fishing.  143 

fair  and  square,  he  wasn't  goin'  back  on  the  trade, 
and  he  said,  '  Joe.'  '  And  my  name's  Johnny,'  up 
and  says  the  other  one.  Then  the  doctor  he  goes 
and  gives  the  bottle  of  medicine  to  their  mother, 
and  says  he  :  '  This  medicine  is  fur  Joe.  You 
must  give  him  a  tablespoonful  every  two  hours. 
Keep  up  the  treatment,  and  he'll  be  all  right.  As 
fur  Johnny,  there's  nothin'  much  the  matter  with 
him.  He  don't  need  no  medicine.'  And  then  he 
went  away.  Every  two  hours  after  that  Joe,  who 
wasn't  sick  worth  mentioning  had  to  swallow  a 
dose  of  horrid  stuff,  and  pretty  soon  he  took  to 
his  bed,  and  Johnny  he  jist  played  round  and  got 
well  in  the  nat'ral  way.  Joe's  mother  kept  up  the 
treatment,  gittin'  up  in  the  night  to  feed  that  stuff 
to  him  ;  but  the  poor  little  boy  got  wuss  and  wuss, 
and  one  mornin'  he  says  to  his  mother,  says  he : 
'  Mother,  I  guess  I'm  goin'  to  die,  and  I'd  ruther 
do  that  than  take  any  more  of  that  medicine,  and 
I  wish  you'd  call  Johnny  and  we'll  trade  names 
back  agen,  and  if  he  don't  want  to  come  and  do 
it,  you  kin  tell  him  he  kin  keep  the  old  minkskin  I 
gave  him  to  boot,  on  account  of  his  name  havin'  a 
Wesley  in  it.'  '  Trade  names,'  says  his  mother, 
'  what  do  you  mean  by  that  ?  '  And  then  he  told 
her  what  he  and  Johnny  had  done.  '  And  did 
you  ever  tell  anybody  about  this  ? '  says  she. 


144  Plain  Fishing. 

'  Nobody  but  Dr.  Barnes,'  says  he.  '  After  that 
I  got  sick  and  forgot  it.'  When  my  sister  heard 
that,  an  idee  struck  into  her  like  you  put  a  fork 
into  an  apple  dumplin'.  Traded  names,  and  told 
the  doctor !  She'd  all  along  thought  it  strange 
that  the  boy  that  seemed  wuss  should  be  turned 
out,  and  the  other  one  put  under  treatment ;  but 
it  wasn't  fur  her  to  set  up  her  opinion  agen  that 
of  a  man  like  Dr.  Barnes.  Down  she  went,  in 
about  seventeen  jumps,  to  where  Eli  Timmins,  the 
hired  man,  was  ploughin'  in  the  corn.  *  Take  that 
horse  out  of  that,'  she  hollers,  '  and  you  may  kill 
him  if  you  have  to,  but  git  Dr.  Barnes  here  be 
fore  my  little  boy  dies.'  When  the  doctor  come 
he  heard  the  story,  and  looked  at  the  sick  young 
ster,  and  then  says  he :  'If  he'd  kept  his  mink- 
skin,  and  not  hankered  after  a  Wesley  to  his 
name,  he'd  a  had  a  better  time  of  it.  Stop  the 
treatment,  and  he'll  be  all  right.'  Which  she  did ; 
and  he  was.  Now  it  seems  to  me  that  this  is  a 
good  deal  like  your  case.  You've  had  to  take  a 
lot  of  medicine  that  didn't  belong  to  you,  and  I 
guess  it's  made  you  feel  pretty  bad  ;  but  I've  told 
my  gals  to  stop  the  treatment,  and  you'll  be  all 
right  in  the  mornin.'  Good-night.  Your  candle 
stick  is  on  the  kitchen  table." 

For  two  days  longer  I  remained  in  this  neigh- 


Plain  Fishing.  145 

borhood,  wandering  alone  over  the  hills,  and  up 
the  mountain-sides,  and  by  the  brooks,  which 
tumbled  and  gurgled  through  the  lonely  forest. 
Each  evening  I  brought  home  a  goodly  supply  of 
trout,  but  never  a  great  one  like  the  noble  fellow 
for  which  I  angled  in  the  meadow  stream^ 

On  the  morning  of  my  departure  I  stood  on  the 
porch  with  old  Peter  waiting  for  the  arrival  of  the 
mail  driver,  who  was  to  take  me  to  the  nearest 
railroad  town. 

"  I  don't  want  to  say  nothin',''  remarked  the  old 
man,  "  that  would  keep  them  fellers  with  the 
jinted  poles  from  stoppin'  at  my  house  when  they 
comes  to  these  parts  a-fishin'.  1  ain't  got  no  ob 
jections  to  their  poles ;  'tain't  that.  And  I  don't 
mind  nuther  their  standin'  off,  and  throwin'  their 
flies  as  fur  as  they've  a  mind  to ;  that's  not  it. 
And  it  ain't  even  the  way  they  have  of  worryin' 
their  fish.  I  wouldn't  do  it  myself,  but  if  they 
like  it,  that's  their  business.  But  what  does  rile 
me  is  the  cheeky  way  in  which  they  stand  up  and 
say  that  there  isn't  no  decent  way  of  fishin'  but  their 
way.  And  that  to  a  man  that's  ketched  more 
fish,  of  more  different  kinds,  with  more  game  in 
'em,  and  had  more  fun  at  it,  with  a  lot  less  money, 
and  less  tomfoolin'  than  any  fishin'  feller  that  ever 
come  here  and  talked  to  me  like  an  old  cat  tryin' 

10 


146  Plain  Fishing. 

to  teach  a  dog  to  ketch  rabbits.  No,  sir  ;  agen  I 
say  that  I  don't  take  no  money  fur  entertainin' 
the  only  man  that  ever  come  out  here  to  go  a-fish- 
in'  in  a  plain,  Christian  way.  But  if  you  feel 
tetchy  about  not  payin'  nothin',  you  kin  send  me 
one  of  them  poles  in  three  pieces,  a  good  strong 
one,  that'll  lift  Barney  Sloat's  trout,  if  ever  I  hook 
him." 

I  sent  him  the  rod  ;  and  next  summer  I  am  go 
ing  out  to  see  him  use  it. 


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DATE  DUE 


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